The Inner Life of the Saints

On Love

2012-01-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

What love is this so distant love
That cannot penetrate my love
Nor quite harm me

O harm me love not harmed not loved
But far from me what soul is shoved
In churning sea

What sight I have to see my love
Too far to harm and be my love
What cannot be

Love quit my soul that churning sea
When sleepless hearts alone can see
My only love

Stay far from love come near my love
And heave and shove and churn my love
It now shall be

Richard Baxter on Pride

2012-01-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

This is a long post based on my analysis of a part of Baxter's massive Christian Directory.

Note, because of space constraints, I have not included the list of signs of pride. Sorry!

Richard Baxter on pride

A special warning concerning pride: Unlike many sins, pride is also generally abhorred by the world. It is not usually a compliment to be called a proud person. So the name and general idea of pride is spoken against by all. But the true nature of pride is so little known, and so commonly cherished in the hearts of men, that it is more dangerous a sin than those which are more obvious. We all learn, consciously or unconsciously, to hide our pride. But hiding it is not the same as killing it. For this reason, Baxter first lays out a careful definition of pride and its opposite, humility. Then he extensively lays out signs of pride, both external and internal. The list is exhaustive and is appended at the end. From there he moves into directions for putting this sin to death.

Defining pride and humility

The simple definition that Baxter presents for pride is inordinate self-exalting, or lifting ourselves above the state appointed to us. In this way, pride is a direct attack upon the sovereignty and wisdom of God, indeed the very love of God is assaulted. Because pride is a matter of degree, it can be present in every man no matter is situation, though certainly it is a greater snare to those in what is already a lofty position. Humility is the opposite, a resting content in the state assigned to us by God.

This is the simple definition, but Baxter goes on to find five parts in pride, along with their corresponding opposite. (1) Pride is a will to be greater than God would have us be, whereas humility is content in the station God has left us. (2) Pride therefore is an overvaluing of the self at the expense of others, while humility is an accurate self-assessment. (3) Pride desires that others think more highly of us than we deserve, while humility desires that others have an accurate idea of us. (4) Pride endeavors to rise above our appointed place, while humility devotes itself to our assigned task, even the meanest works of our own place. (5) Finally, pride displays itself in inordinate self-esteem in our speech and actions (read: pride is boastful), while humility avoids all false shows of greatness.

We can see from this definition that pride strikes against the greatest commandments, hating both God, against whom it strives, and our neighbor, whom it seeks to dominate.
Baxter is also careful to delineate what is not pride. A common attack on Christians by the world is to accuse them of pride for things which are not pride. In general, things which set the Christian apart from either worldly professors (Christians in name only) or outright unbelievers are not pride. For example, an insistence on a high degree of holiness is often attacked as legalism when it is no more than what God demands. Insistence on the truth, courage in being willing not to please men, obeying God over men, being earnest in preaching the Word of God, opposing false doctrine. None of these are pride in themselves.

Finally, having identified counterfeit pride, he indentifies counterfeit humility. Some of these are quite insightful. For example, he identifies the confession of sin at times and places when such confession is not a disgrace, but rather praised as humility. How true this is! Sometimes to confess sin causes us to increase in other people’s estimation. Refraining from boasting is also not humility, indeed, one could take pride in the reputation for humility that such refraining produces. A kind of shame towards public applause is not humility. Also, affirming humbling doctrines is not humility unless those doctrines are thoroughly applied to the heart.

Signs of pride

Here is where Baxter shows is utter mastery of the human heart. How thoroughly does he understand the pathways of sin! And this section is VERY thorough. As said above, I have appended all these signs below. I will discuss some themes here.

The signs are divided into several categories, moving from most obvious to most subtle. The first one, for example, is a man glorying in his perceived greatness, as a strong man boasting of his strength, and a wise man of his learning. There are four sections. In the first, he lists the signs of pride against God that are the most overt and obvious. In the second, he lists those that are more subtle, but still against God. In the third, he lists signs of pride in religious duties. And in the last and longest, he lists the signs of pride in normal life.

The most overt signs of pride are those which displace God in our lives and make us Lord and Master over ourselves and those around us. Thus pride sets us up in competition with God. The proud man lives only for his pleasure and joy, depending on himself and giving himself the credit for everything. Pride causes man to question God’s wisdom, love and justice (as revealed in the Scriptures). The proud man always wants more recognition and praise than he has, and prefers the praise of men to the pleasure of God.

The less overt signs of pride generally deal with our understanding of our sinfulness. He does not feel the full weight of his sin, nor does he feel the need for any diligence in opposing and mortifying the flesh. He is quick to believe the best about himself and his motives, and doesn’t fear temptation. He is ungrateful for the mercy he has received. All these things can exist side-by-side with orthodox confessions of sinfulness and natural depravity. A man may acknowledge with his mind his need for a savior without feeling it in his heart. These signs of pride often lay hidden in the heart, because men love to think well of themselves and are quick to forgive themselves.

The main effect of pride in religious duties is a greater concern for outward appearances in religion than for true communion with God. A prideful man prefers public prayers and worship to private prayer and worship. Proud men are threatened by those with greater gifts (administration, teaching, prayer) than them, rather than rejoicing in the use of these gifts for their edification. Proud men hate church discipline unless they are exercising it.

The final group of signs concerns normal life, or the pride which is seen in the way we interact with society. Here Baxter delivers conviction with a sharp sword. I urge you to carefully read these signs, but the main theme here is how subtle pride is and how much it is exposed by our lack of love for others. The proud man is hard to please, quick to judge others, quick to forgive his faults. He thinks that he can do everything better than anyone else, wants precedence, and loves to hear himself praised. He is always seeking to dominate, impatient if contradicted, unwilling to admit his wrong, eager to revenge slights. He loves to hear himself speak, he always seeks to justify himself if he is rebuked, and is in love with his own significance.

In reading these lists, it is important to remember that only the most proud man would see ALL of these signs in himself. But the presence of even one is like dashboard indicator light of the presence of pride in your heart. If allowed to grow, it will take over.

Fighting Against Pride

Pride is a difficult sin to fight against because by its very nature it seeks to hide itself. Pride makes a man think the best of himself that he can, and no man wants to think himself proud. So the first, and most important step in fighting pride is to repent of it, for the best sign that it is in you is your inability to see it. The next is to carefully search for its presence in your life, that you may see it and hate it. If you do not look for it, you will not see it, and if you do not see it, it will lie hidden in your heart until disaster strikes.

Baxter cautiously recommends spiritual disciplines designed to fight against pride. The reason he does it cautiously is that in his day such exercises had been much abused and had themselves become causes for pride. But studying the law of God, searching for and confessing your sin to God, together with moderate, seasonal fastings can be of much use. But do not mistake self-violence for humility. Those that punish themselves the most severely can be the most filled with pride.

So how does one fight against pride? The most powerful means against is surely to bring your soul before God and consider how he opposes the proud but lifts up the humble. Think of Isaiah before the throne of God, how he immediately cries out, “Woe is me!” There is no room for pride before the unveiled presence of God.

To this, Baxter adds several helpful points of meditation. Look at the example of Christ. Consider the characteristics of a disciple as laid out in the gospels. Think of how worthless are the things that you take pride in. Think about the greatness of your sins and the weakness of your obedience. These and others tend to create in us an accurate self-assessment.

My Thoughts

1. The most dangerous tendency of pride is how it makes us quick to extenuate our sins. How quick we are to defend ourselves and our motives! We must be absolutely ruthless with ourselves, assuming that pride and sin is present to some degree in all of the motions of our heart.

2. The two biggest signs of pride seem to be lack of love in the way we treat others, and a quickness to extenuate or ignore our sin. Conflict arises out of pride. We should be quick to forgive others and quick to suspect ourselves. Instead, we are the reverse.

3. Points of particular conviction are the way we think about the utilization of our gifts. Do we long for the praise of men, especially the kind of praise that sets us apart from others with similar gifts?

4. Contentment seems to be the jewel of the humble man. He accepts from God what he gives without demanding more. He considers that he has received more than he deserves if he is rescued from hell, and so anything beyond that is sheer grace.

5. These signs should be carefully studied, and the most convicting especially meditated on.

A Christmas Tradition

2011-12-08T16:58:00.000-08:00

Or better...a Steven Crawford's blog tradition.

That's right. It is time for the 2011 Christmas list. What wonders will I ask for this year? Probably mostly books.

1. Books

Richard Baxter complete works
Vol 3
Vol 4
Vol 7

Actually, any volumes except for 2, 5, 6, and 10 would be great!

Russian literature
Lectures on Russian Literature
Poetry
Biography of Dostoevsky

To prepare for the arrival of my marimba
Bach

Other books you think I might like

2. Other things

I need some comfy brown dress shoes

2011 Book Awards

2011-12-07T18:06:00.000-08:00

1. Best New Author

China Mieville

2. Best Science Fiction

Leviathan Awakes by James RA Covey

3. Best Decision

To try to read as much Russian literature as possible

4. Most Helpful

Christian Ethics by Richard Baxter

5. Best Sequel

A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin

6. Best YA Series

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

7. Best Book About Two Cities that Share the Same Physical Space but Different Psychological Space

The City and the City by China Mieville

8. Best Biography

Peter the Great by Robert Massie

9. Best Suicide

Kirilov in Demons

10. Best Book of the Year (tie)

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Demons by Fyodr Dostoevsky

11. Worst Book of the Year

[Redacted] by [Redacted]

Books I have read in 2011 (so far)

2011-12-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

Books are listed chronologically

Russian literature

I read Demons for the first time during my trip to St. Petersburg this summer, and immediately went on a bender that lasted until October. Most of the following works were translated by the peerless team of Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky.

31. Demons by Fyodr Dostoevsky
32. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
34. Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol
36. The Idiot by Fyodr Dostoevsky
41. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
45. Crime and Punishment by Fyodr Dostoevsky
47. Notes from Underground by Fyodr Dostoevsky
51. Everything Flows by Vasily Grossman
52. Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev
54. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Other Literature (and literature like substances)

4. Emma by Jane Austen
14. Freaky Deaky by Elmore Leonard
39. Bleak House by Charles Dickens

Russian related works and history

Another passion of mine.

18. Sashenka by Simon Sebag Montefiore
26. The Possessed by Elif Batuman
33. The Crimean War by Orlando Figes
44. Russia: Experiment with a People by Robert Service
45. Peter the Great by Robert Massie
57. The Siege of Leningrad by Anna Reid
59. Ostkrieg by Stephen K. Fritz
67. Passage Through Armageddon by Bruce W. Lincoln

Other History

2. Rise and Fall of the Great Powers by Paul Kennedy
6. The Inheritance of Rome by Chris Wickham
9. God's War by Christopher Tyerman
20.The English Revolution by Diane Parkiss
24. World 3.0 by Pankaj Ghemewat
53. Hope and Memory by Tsvetan Toderov

Christian Books

3. Theirs is the Kingdom by Robert Lupton
5. Institutes, Book III by John Calvin
10. Christ's Last Disclosure of Himself by William Greenhill
16. Christian Ethics by Richard Baxter
17. On the Song of Songs by Bernard of Clairvaux
21. Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners by John Bunyan
25. Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
28. The Great Exchange by Philip Everson
30. The Greatest Thing in the World by Henry Drummond
42. William Carey by Walter Bruce Davis
43. The Navigator by Bob Foster
46. If I Perish, I Perish by W. Ian Thomas

Science Fiction/Fantasy/Weird Fiction

1. Conventions of War by Walter John Williams
7. Prador Moon by Neil Asher
8. Echo by Jack McDevitt
11. The Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe
13. Look to Windward by Iain M. Banks
15. Manifold Space by Stephen Baxter
22. A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin
23. A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin
27. A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin
29. A Feast of Crows by George R. R. Martin
35. The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan
37. A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin
38. Coyote Destiny by Allen Steele
40. Perdido Street Station by China Mieville
48. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
49. The Peace War by Vernor Vinge
55. The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan
56. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
58. Leviathan Awakes by James R. A. Covey
60. A Fire Upon Deep by Vernor Vinge
61. Firebird by Jack McDevitt
62. The Children of the Sky by Vernor Vinge
63. The City and the City by China Mieville
64. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
65. The Scar by China Mieville
66. The Quantum Thief by Hannu Rajaniemi
68. Embassytown by China Mieville

Books so Terrible I Can't Believe I Finished Them, Let Alone Decided to Read the Sequel

12. Hidden Empire by Kevin J. Anderson
19. A Feast of Stars by Kevin J. Anderson

-----------------

Some Asides

Rereads

4, 41, 45, 60

Books I read to research a speaker at our national conference

25

Books which offered political insight that was out-of-date (but still of some use):

2, 53

Series which I read completely or in some part

Alex Benedict series (8, 61)
A Song of Fire and Ice (22, 23, 27, 29, 37)
The Hunger Games series (48, 56, 64)
Wheels of Time (35, 55)

How to Have an Awesome Christmas Break

2011-11-30T20:08:00.000-08:00

So...for our last NavNight last night I gave a little mini-talk on how to have a good Christmas break. It wasn't exegetical or anything...indeed I mentioned the Word only in passing. It was just some practical advice.

1. Have a plan

No one goes on Christmas break and says, "I hope I have a terrible time and accomplish nothing." Most people want to have a relaxing and productive break where they grow closer to God. Yes? What is the difference between desiring this and attaining it? A plan!

Some time before finals are over, carve out 2 hours and sit down and plan out your Christmas break. What do you want to do? How do you want to grow? I always make a list of personal goals (read some books, see some people, organize bookshelf) and spiritual goals (prayer, the Word, memorization).

2. Spend time in the Word everyday

Best way to have a bad break: disconnect from God. Even on Christmas day and New Year's, get into the Word. Try to spend more time in the Word than you normally would. If you normally spend 30 minutes with Jesus, try and get an hour.

3. Serve your family

View going home as an opportunity to serve your family. Do the dishes. Help your dad with a project. Clean up the family room. Try to spend some time every day serving.

4. Try to engage spiritually with your family

For some people this is easier with others. Some ways to do this:
--Ask your parents about their spiritual heritage
--Ask your parents their experience with God during college
--Do a quiet time with a sibling
--Share some things you've been learning with your parents

Asking questions and listening is the best way to do this!

5. Share the gospel with one person

A family member? An old friend? This is a great goal and can be an object of prayer over the course of your break.

6. Disconnect from technology

Nothing will hinder you more from accomplishing what you want to accomplish than excessive time on the internet, watching TV and movies, or glued to your phone! Don't complete disengage, and obviously sometimes TV and movies are involved in our family traditions. But try to limit the time you spend on these things and instead seek to engage with God and with your friends and family.

7. Make a list of New Year's Resolutions

I started this practice several years ago and have found it to be a great discipline. On New Year's Eve I take about four hours to think back over the year. I ask myself three questions:

--What did God teach me this year?
--What hindered my spiritual growth?
--What helped my spiritual growth?

Then I apply these questions to the future:

--What do I want God to do in my life next year?
--What will help that?
--What will hinder that?

From that I draw a list of New Year's Resolutions.

------------------

There you have it. To these seven, I will mention one more which I wish I had said at the time...

8. Find someone to help you!

Share your plan with someone else and keep each other accountable!

No more fear

2011-11-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

Psalm 27:1

The Lord is my light and my salvation
Who shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life
Of whom shall I be afraid?

Obs.

1. The Lord guides our path so that we may be led to a sure salvation.
2. The Lord secures this salvation from all external powers.

Doctrine:

In both the attaining and the securing of our salvation, we are led and empowered by the strong hand of God working in us by his Holy Spirit.

No external power can threaten our future because the Lord has secured it.

Application

1. You should not be held back from any act of obedience by fear.

2. All powers that inspire fear in us are counterfeits.

3. If God has called us to an action, he will guarantee our safety in the performance of it.

-------------------------------------

Some few personal notes:

1. Here is what I wrote on my 28th birthday post:

Fear is the great enemy! Fear holds me back from so much, from so much depth of fellowship, so many moments of potential joy and pleasure! I look forward to the day when fear will be no more.

Sadly, it is still true.

2. I want to let this question address me, to buffet me, to strike me in the chest like a fist. Whom shall I fear? God is on his heavenly throne, how can I fear men?

3. Later in the Psalm, David says, "One thing I ask of the Lord, and this is what I seek/that I may dwell in the house of the Lord forever/And there behold your beauty." What causes us to fear? That we cannot say that "one thing" I seek. We say, I seek this, but I also seek other things, and those things must be secured by my own strength, and I prefer them to your presence.

4. I seek approval of man, success in what I do, the respect of those around me, a reputation for competence. I seek this insatiably. God has never guaranteed these things to me, and so I must find them in my own strength, and finding my own strength inadequate, I fear that which can deny me these things.

5. But one thing is all I need, his presence. I find it in obedience, in the Word, in prayer, in turning from the World and to his presence. One other place where I must seek it Paul writes about: I want to know Christ, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in his suffering. You will know Christ in entering fear.

6. But sometimes I feel so helpless, so paralyzed by it, so thrown about by my fear. I need help in conquering fear.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while

2011-10-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

Inspiration hasn't hit.

Honest thoughts and self-observations from recruiting

2011-08-31T20:15:00.000-07:00

1. When you ask a freshman if they are interested in something, you have to learn how to properly interpret his response. Here is some sample dialogue:

Me: Hey, are you interested in a Christian Leadership Training course to help you grow as a Christian?

What he says: Yeah! That sounds amazing! Can I have a few of your fliers to pass out to some of my friends that I also think might be interested?

What he means: No.

2. Sometimes it is really hard for me to respond when people tell me they will go to something but then don't. I think the reason is that I am really excited about the things we're doing, and so it is easy for me to assume that other people are to. It is hard for me to conceive of a Christian not being excited about growth, leadership, etc. Also, although I am not surprised at non-Christians being insincere or outright lying, it is harder for me when professing Christians do. I want to say, "Dude, I don't care if you are involved with the Navs! I just want you to grow! I want you to be changed by God! I want you to reach the people around you! You can do that in other groups or if you don't want to, that is fine too! But you got my hopes up, and this is my job and the disappointments in it hurt me!"

3. Sometimes there is bitterness (and perhaps by sometimes, I mean, generally, but I repent of it and take it to Jesus) when I am rejected. When I invite a guy to something and he flakes. I want to say to him "You will regret this one day!" Then I imagination some ridiculous scenario where this student looks back his senior year and realizes he has wasted it and he mourns and comes to me and says, "Steven if only I had joined the Navs during that first week when you asked me! My life would be different! O how I regret the callousness with which I treated you, so willfully neglecting the brilliant spiritual insights which I treated as nothing more than chaff." And then I will gently forgive him, with beautiful compassion.

Yes, that scene is completely ridiculous, since in my heart there is a secret desire for this individual, this human being, this person made by God, to have a terrible four years unless he is in MY ministry! Why not just walk around campus with a sandwich board proclaiming "Salvation is found nowhere else but in the ministry of Steven Crawford."

4. Ah pride. Pride is an ugly, ugly thing when displayed like this? Perhaps I am the only minister of the gospel ever to struggle with such things. But recruitment is a wonderful time for my pride to be exposed, so that I can crucify it and repent of it! God doesn't need me. But he wants me. I have a plan which I have sought the Lord on, and taken before him and prayed over, and which I will work towards and labor in, and which I hope God blesses to the extent he desires. But shouldn't I allow a person to be a person, and love them? Shouldn't I desire that a student who doesn't come into my ministry to still grow ferociously? Yes.

5. But nonetheless, I do wish that freshmen were honest. I wish that if a student looks at me and tells me something, he would mean it.

6. Recruitment is hard. But it is necessary.

A few thoughts from the last few weeks

2011-08-20T18:18:00.000-07:00

1. This is the time of year when I have to remember the great patience with which my Savior bore my long neglect, my apathy, my casual disregard for his great service and love. If I do not remember his patience, then the comparatively small slights I must endure from ignored calls and flaked appointments will be met with compassion and forgiveness.

2. I told a friend that we are all divided into two camps. Either we are Dostoevsky people, or we are Tolstoy people. I have for a long time felt myself firmly belonging to Fyodr, but having immersed myself in War and Peace, I am having second thoughts.

3. Did you notice my poetry binge, which seems to have left as swiftly as it came? I don't know what that was all about.

4. Every year I say to myself, "Why care about football?" And then every year I remember, "Oh yeah, because it is awesome."

5. Here is a rejected Facebook status from a couple of days ago. It seemed to self-indulgent and long:

Today somebody got me so riled up when I was driving by cutting me off. I said to myself, "You idiot! How could you do something so stupid!" But then I said, "You hypocrite! You do that all the time to people!" Then I said, "A hippogriff? What is that?" Then I said, "It is a mythical beast, but that isn't what I said."

A short excerpt from Tolstoy

2011-08-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

There was one thing he loved--merrymaking and women--and since, to his mind, there was nothing ignoble in these tastes, and since he was unable to reflect on the consequences that the satisfaction of these tastes had for other people, at heart he considered himself an irreproachable man, sincerely despised scoundrels and bad people, and with an easy conscience carried his head high.

A description of Anatole Kuragin, seducer of Natasha Rostov and the cause for a great deal of anguish and despair.

Such a description could be used for many young Christian men, who give themselves small and easy pleasures, while being unable to contemplate the consequences.

Who is Willow Creek trying to please?

2011-08-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

The mega-church Willow Creek has some sort of leadership conference everywhere year, at which bizarrely the non-Christian CEO of Starbucks was scheduled to speak. Why? Who knows?

However, an online gay-rights advocacy group created a petition pressuring him not to speak, claiming that Willow Creek is anti-gay. After a whopping 717 people signed this petition, Howard Schultz withdrew from the conference. The senior pastor of Willow Creek issued the following statement (excerpt):

First, if the organizers of this petition had simply taken the time to call us, we would have explained to them (as we have to many others ) that not only is Willow not anti-gay, Willow not anti-anybody.

Our church was founded on the idea that people matter to God. All people. All people of all backgrounds, all colors, ethnicities, and sexual orientation. The mat at every door on this campus has always read “Welcome.” And for over 35 years we have flung the doors of this campus open to the widest array of humanity I have ever witnessed in the global church. And thousands--tens of thousands--have come to learn the teachings of Jesus. So to suggest that we check sexual orientation or any other kind of issue at our doors is simply not true. Just ask the hundreds of people with same-sex attraction who attend our church every week.

Now what is true is that we challenge homosexuals and heterosexuals to live out the sexual ethics taught in the Scriptures--which encourages full sexual expression between a man and a woman in the context of marriage and prescribes sexual abstinence and purity for everybody else.

But even as we challenge all of our people to these biblical standards, we do so with grace-filled spirits, knowing the confusion and brokenness that is rampant in our fallen world. And at Willow we honor the journey of everyone who is sincerely attempting to follow Christ. So it’s unfortunate that we could not have explained this to those called us anti-gay and started this petition.

Some thoughts:

1. Why have a leadership conference with non-Christian speakers?

2. Are you seriously trying to convince the world that you are not anti-gay? I suppose Hybels means that they don't despise homosexuals. But this will not convince the world of anything. If they are faithful to the Bible, then they are against homosexuality. The world is not asking them, "Do you allow people struggling with same sex attraction to attend your church and receive help being transformed out of these attractions?" The world is saying, "Do you place any hindrance on following every sexual desire that occurs to anyone at anytime, so long as it is consensual?" Saying no to this equates to being anti-gay.

3. This attempts to placate, to give ground in the name of love, to please those who cannot and will not be pleased, will only lead to a fatal compromising of the Word, to detriment of those struggling with the power of homosexual attraction.

Our Savior, dressed in a robe dipped in blood

2011-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

Revelation 19:11-13

"I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True...He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God."

Near the end of Revelation, John sees Christ, appearing as a rider on a white horse, Christ is described at length. The part highlighted above is part of that description. He appears in a robe dipped in blood.

Quick: What is the meaning of the blood-stained robe? Why does Christ appear in it?

These symbols have meaning, and John is constantly referring to the prophetic literature, especially Isaiah and Zechariah and Ezekiel. The imagery is drawn often drawn from these sources, modified somewhat, but reflective of the same ideas. Or, better to say that God presents himself to his prophets in a consistent manner!

So, did you say that it is his own blood that stains his robe? A reference to his sacrificial death? Well, then you are wrong.

Isaiah 63:1-3

"Who is this...with his garments stained crimson?
Why are your garments red...?
I have trodden the winepress...
I trampled [the nations] down in my anger...
their blood splattered my garments."

It is the blood of the slain enemies of the eternal king which stain his garments. The robe is dipped in blood like the garments of one treading grapes in a winepress. Vivid imagery. Christ conquers and destroys his enemies. This is as much a part of the revelation of God's son as when he appears as the lamb "looking as if it had been slain" earlier in Revelation.

Preach Hell and Take Joy in it

2011-08-02T17:54:00.001-07:00

...for the saints did. What do you think is the meaning of the blood of Abel, which cries out from the ground? What is the joy of the elect in Revelation over the destruction of the dragon and his armies? What is the hope of the Psalmist who cries out to see Babylon destroyed and her people wiped from the face of the earth?

Do you apologize for something that God does not? Are you ashamed of something that God is not? Then you fail to comprehend the fullness of it.

We should not apologize for what God will do, as if our small and sin-scarred minds knew better than him the pathways of love! As if we could sit in judgment over his decisions!

So, preach hell with no apology, for it is the full counsel of God. Don't couch it in some false way, as CS Lewis does, that it is God's great love in letting sinners have there own way, instead of his just wrath at the rebellion and disobedience of his creation. And above all, use it to flame your gratitude for and joy in your precious salvation, which has freely rescued you from this.

Two unnamed sonnets, about which I am sorta meh...

2011-07-22T13:10:00.001-07:00

Faith is the evidence of things not seen,
Veiled face of the prophet who spoke to God,
By Spirit’s power uncovered, eyes keen,
Ground once unwilling to bear him now trod.
The voice that shook the desert of Kadesh
To Elijah’s ears was a gentle breeze,
Christ wept, then called forth Lazarus afresh,
So faith’s true action is strength, we must seize,
Hear the voice! This is faith, that brings before
The heart a world more true than our poor sight,
No work of ours, but unveiling, restore
To us in darkness what’s only seen in light.
A promise, faith must have a promise too,
He is the Amen, faith’s surety and true.

Can anger inspire the heart to song?
Can wrath bring joy and expectation sweet?
Abel’s blood spoke, Stephen declaimed “Too long!”
A better word was Christ’s, yet this surfeit
Fury stored in books and ‘neath which earth groaned
Suffered by his patience and these bold men
Accuse him who ‘pon the cross love’s proof moaned,
See here the balance of each fallen wren,
Man from man though weak heart may take love’s mold
And passions flow mixed with self-deception
Convinced of some injustice his God scold,
A foolish child unused to correction.
Let God destroy and avenge as he will,
Your love is nothing, this pride you must kill.

If we are to trust...

2011-07-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

If we are to trust the fire that cleanses,
The holy pain that meets all saints in turn,
Then through foreign covenanted lenses
Must be seen the flames that heaven's joys earn.
These glasses quite strangely do not make clear,
But e'en obscure still more the cause from view.
'Stead brings before the heart a greater fear,
The God whose word alone preserves the few.
What is this? cries the heart without this gift,
You promised good, yet now abandon me?
But God when seen, our selves entrust to sift,
Treasure costs, clear-eyed men will pay the fee.
And shouldn't Him whose essence makes good good
Define for us what it is? Who else could?

The Crimean War, Part 3

2011-07-13T00:09:00.000-07:00

Perhaps we should go back and see the dawn,
When Cassocks swept through janissary horde,
Towards Silestra, unlock quick the Danube!
They stalled and though fanatic flames the tsar
He cannot feed the elect on passion.
And they were elect, in number at least,
Heaven’s number camped there stretched thin
Beat by the merciless logic of war.
And they withdrew.
See in how few words we have sketched this noble start!

But here it did not end. Why?
Through Dardanelles the queen’s fleet flew
Near land which in sixty short years
Bloodstained would be past all compare
To this rehearsal.
Through gaps they passed the Golden Horn
Blue spires and fragile minarets
Sacked twice, eternally despoiled,
This symbol of a misplaced hope,
Coiled smoke and icon lamps all lit,
Now represented man is gone
Just words and space and prayer and power.
Would you, O prying man, see through
And find the war at last in full?
History has ne’er judged full right yet,
Confined since Thucydides’ book
To simple human cause alone.
Yet here you’ll find it, human heart,
In Eastern city, Byzantium.
Out! You who see, you cannot see!
Whose landedness abuts their name,
Whose cunning Euclidean mind
Can see each part but miss the whole.
What caused it? Who sent men to die?
I did.

No, not I!

But you did, I did too, we all!

The Crimean War, Part 2

2011-07-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

He was Wellington’s man, he was Raglan,
He had watched the hope of Corsican dreams
In Spain, where bitter was the battle cry,
Our ground, they said, we’ll bleed for every inch.
Though Pavel’s son had burned Muscovy down
He rode in Paris streets not two years past.
Yet Raglan shipped them to that foreign soil
And Tatar land they felt beneath their feet.
Strange ground it is whose grass can never die,
Where fit between the means and end
Proportion strong and right will not apply
A world where one to all will send
A world created by a single word
Not bloody from the blood all spent
Crimea’s souls at last will be interred
And goats from sheep to each is sent
But who fought for this place, whose was the ground?
Not Rus, nor Turk, nor Kievan Khanate,
And how can ground be owned and who owns it?
Where does he put it? Whose pocket has it?
Raglan! Was it yours? You blund’ring, weeping fool,
They hated you. What writ could give you space,
Who spared you, Aberdeen and Palmerston,
Or French-backed Rome and Third Jerusalem?
They shove in Nativity’s sacred hall
And blooded, empty rites enact,
Before an idol, virgin saint they crawl
A mutual ignorant pact.
Greek and Latin, Bishopric robes and all,
For this the limbs of men are gone,
What cannot stand must certainly soon fall,
And Sevastopol meets no dawn.
Bestride the horse, his sword, his gun, his teeth,
The rifle, the shot, spread artillery,
Fist and nail, bayonet, all Raglan’s men.
A dog pitch black once crept into his tent,
It tore the flap and chewed his gleaming boots
He broke it back with lunging feet to head
And brains spilled forth on Raglan’s sparkling toes,
Towards French-backed Rome and Third Jerusalem

The Crimean War, Part 1

2011-07-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

O Sevastopol! Crimea’s bright jewel!
Where serf and sailor nation came apart!
Where Turk and befeathered Zouve met fire cruel!
Where triage came and lamp’s bright light brought heart!

Where are you now? In Little Russia’s grasp,
Giv’n ‘way by bureaucratic oversight.
Your graves filled with forgotten, still we clasp
Your dreams and fears to twice fooled hearts too tight.

To war we went, for all man’s deeds belong
To him, and we are men, and so we went,
For reasons placed upon a map and strong,
Pride, piety, patriotism all sent.

Both high churchmen and dissenters with them
Spoke words which linked earth’s kingdom to the sky,
While French-backed Rome and Third Jerusalem
Bound here already, protected each eye.

Red severance bought for purpose vague, obscure,
But all war drags its men about like this.
The passions, aggressions, at home felt pure,
But Balaklavan dirt ends with a kiss.

Flesh is flesh and tears and burns and furrows,
Like trenched men’s choleric water filled bed,
And harsh peninsular winter wind stows
In stacks and heaps and unmarked graves the dead.

Dead. A man from steppe or Manchester yard,
Story-less now, lost to time. Who is he?
A number now, twenty years old, all hard.
Less in Peter, where Tsar fears the angry.

What can we say of these poor vorloen hoop?
These souls with names and fears and father’s too?
Who on the fields of Inkermen did grope
For life amidst the fog and fatal stew?

We are these men! We fought their fight of hate.
Each story told is ours, and we hate them
And hate ourselves, against ourselves conflate
With French-backed Rome and Third Jerusalem.

---------------

Here are some explanations which might help comprehension:

1. The Crimean peninsula is located in the Black Sea. In 1854-55 a conflict was centered here between Russia and the combined forces of Turkey, England and France. The cause of the conflict is complex and not relevant to the poem.

2. Sevestopol is the largest city on the peninsula and was the home of the Russian Black Sea fleet. The 354-day siege of the city was the main action of the war. Despite being mainly populated by ethnic Russians, it is currently a part of the Ukraine after Khruschev (himself Ukrainian) switched it to the Ukraine department in 1954, when Ukraine was part of the USSR.

3. The Zouves were a French regiment known for their bravery and fancy dress.

4. Florence Nightingale (known as "the lady of the lamp") became famous for her work during the Crimean War, although the main development in medicine was the "triage" system, developed by a Russian physician. It saved the lives of countless Russian soldiers (thought their casualties were still shockingly high).

5. "Little Russia" was a common 19th century name for the Ukraine.

6. The Slavophile nationalists saw the Russian people as the defenders of the true Orthodox faith, and Moscow as the "third Jerusalem" (the second being Constantinople) which was destined to be the center of true Christian religion.

7. Balaklava and Inkerman were both sites of major conflicts.

8. Vorloen hoop is dutch for "lost troops" although it was widely mis-translated as "forlorn hope."

Love is like a badger

2011-07-02T15:33:00.000-07:00

Heart's charge is to itself 'fore the heart's charge
Into someone else's heart and enlarge
the scope for destruction and anger, hurt
Her eyes and his met once, she was so curt
He liked it that way, liked her that way too
Is not love this taking her curt and new?
Delighting as she is, a neutral thing
Love is natural, his dad said, a ring
Will fit any finger if you wake it.
Desire plays with lives, the fire once lit
Burns, and will cost you dearly to put out,
From the dyke the water bursts with no spout,
A badger sleeps deep, but woken is fierce
So love will never harm you but only pierce
And crush and maim and break the one you love
and loved she will return this same above,
Though loving, hurt is loving, He must be hurt
She must hurt him, and only then assert
His love. O daughters of Zion, my charge!
Do not awaken love, do not enlarge,
Until it so desires. Then hurt him,
Meaning, love him, 'til all life at last dim.

There must be a proportion (on John xi)

2011-06-19T00:27:00.000-07:00

Martha, do you believe?

I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, the healer, and that if you had been here, Lazarus would still be alive.

Why do you limit me?

How do I limit you?

Look at your hands. What do you see?

My hands.

I made them. Look at the sky. What do you see?

It is vast.

I made it.

All this I believe.

Do you?

Lord, why didn't you come? If you had come, if you had only come, he would be here. Don't you love him?

Yes.

Then why did he die? Why this pain? Why this defeat?

I must obey my Father. I must glorify him, that I may be glorified in him. I and the Father are one.

He is dead.

I am life.

He is dead.

I made him.

He is dead.

I can give him life. I, who made all things, through whom the universe was made, I can give him life. Why do you limit me?

My faith is small.

Enlarge it. Come close. Know me. In knowing me, see what I can do. See my love towards those that draw near. Then you will believe with a strength that will take you through until the end.

When is the end? What role is left for me?

Walk in obedience, trust that no task is too big. Proportion your faith to the nature of its object. I made all things, can do all things, even greater than all you can imagine. Ask, draw near, walk into obedience. All is possible.

Sonnets on Freedom

2011-06-01T16:36:00.001-07:00

“It is for freedom that Christ set us free”
In cells or yoked oxen obligated
Pain avoided or pleasure satiated
A ring in Mannaseh’s nose, bended knee,
This creature set in his walked course, not me
No, who am I? Not this thing, which I am
All held in will’s exerted, swollen dam
Broke, and raging for moments I can’t be.
Free to walk where pain is, free to see
And be seen, free to hope for pleasure pulled
By my hand, free to know a will annulled,
And river water’s power an oak tree,
Channel what could only harm, covenant
Anew with him who love’s power has sent.

“We are Abraham’s children, and therefore
We have never been slaves of anyone!”
Never slaves, for we took and gave back none,
We took, not thinking of the taking nor
Of what we took, simply grasping e’er more
What slavery is it to take? Must not
Slavery give? We saw it take and rot
All time and want, this waste should abhor.
The poet Traherne knew what want was for
These wants are bands which attach us, cement,
Our want is our treasure and all God sent
He sent through the path ordained and these four:
Wanter, wanted, will, desire, our core
Hidden slavery, when one lost before.

“You are enslaved to that which you obey,”
Self-image crowns man, dispensing each part
Flattered in false control, masked empty heart
Folly’s fool is he who seized that old day,
And laughed in discipline, his face like May!
Like Archimedes’ crown, his inside fake,
Iron-mixed gold, shine but will never take,
And offered always, never could but stray
I own myself, says owned man to the grave,
Then why’re you here? replies, I cannot save.
I came here myself, he believes, but nay,
You would not choose this! He can only pray,
That though wasted change can come to the grey.

Part one, “Conscience must rise above the rule,
and seek no more his righteousness in it”
For if found there e’en small, only one bit,
Then the suff’ring servant is but a fool.
Part two, “Freed as pupils from a harsh school,
The soul obeys in voluntary service.”
The servant becomes son and observe this:
Reins for a stallion, not whip for a mule.
Part three, “Uncleanness once a master cruel,
No neutral thing binds, omit or use her!”
Cowered once before mere things, like some cur,
Now all that’s made is clean, his renewal.
Here is freedom’s stable three-legged stool,
Stand upon it, protect her as life’s jewel.

STP Talk--31.5.2011 Part 1

2011-06-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

The Nature of Christian Liberty

Text: Galatians 5:1-- It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Doctrine:
1. Those in Christ have been set free.
2. The purpose of this is to enjoy and experience freedom.
3. You will be tempted to enslave yourselves again.
4. You will have to be fiercely committed to your freedom.

-----

1. Those in Christ have been set free.

What enslaved us?

A) Gal iii.23-- "We were held prisoners by the Law"

i. What is the nature of the Law's slavery?

The original covenant with man made in the garden was based on full obedience. Obey, receive life. Disobey, receive death. Under these conditions, man is obligated to obey. So long as he was free to obey, this was no slavery, but agreeable to his nature. Having disobeyed, his nature is fallen. He is obligated both to a full obedience which he cannot supply, and to the punishment demanded by disobedience, which is death. These two external requirements standing above him enslaved him. No obedience, no performance, no work, no act of religious service could free him from this slavery.

ii. How are we freed from the Law?

Christ fulfilled the Law for us perfectly, both by rendering perfect obedience to it, and by dying in our place, satisfying the requirement of punishment. Through faith, his life and death are counted as our own--they are imputed to us. Thus the Law is fully satisfied towards us and has nothing else to say to us.

Paul talks about this in Romans vii, saying that when a man has died, the Law no longer has power over him. So when we died with Christ, the Law was finished with us.

B) Gal iii.22-- "The whole world is a prisoner of sin"

i. What is the nature of sin's slavery?

In choosing to disobey (an act in which all men participate), man's nature is stained by sin. He is fallen. Sin now has mastery over him. This is manifested in three ways.

--The mind--our understandings are darkened so that we cannot tell good from evil.
--The heart--meaning the seat of the desires; it is perverted by sin so that we desire what is contrary to God. Our passions and desires master us.
--The will--It is directed by the heart and mind and powerless to do good.

Sin has ultimate control over us. This power is sometimes restrained by God and his earthly agents. But sinful man cannot but sin.

ii. How are we freed from sin?

By being born again. The new creation is the dwelling of the Spirit. The Spirit of God is stronger than sin. We are no longer controlled by sin.

2. We are set free to experience and enjoy freedom

What is the nature of this freedom?

1. We must no longer think of finding justification before God in our actions. Instead, we trust wholly in Jesus.

2. We voluntarily submit ourselves to the will of God.

3. No morally neutral external thing can bind us, but we are free to either use them or omit them.

Key thoughts here: Freedom is in a thing as it was created to be. Thus Paul equates slavery to God and freedom. Freedom is slavery to God. Freedom is obedience.

Second half some other time.

Believe, if nothing else, in the power of God.

2011-05-29T16:14:00.000-07:00

Listen!

1. We cannot be trapped into a vision smaller than God's.

2. We cannot allow slow growth or hard soil to deter us.

3. We cannot expect that God will bless methods other than the ones he commanded us to use.

4. We can know for a fact that the harvest is plentiful. No matter what you see with your eyes, or what lies Satan whispers into your ears, the harvest is plentiful.

5. We cannot allow our ambition to be swallowed up by fear.

6. The campus, country, neighborhood, wherever you are laboring, it CAN be reached by the power of God. God made all things, owns all things. WE CAN REACH THESE PLACES!

7. What is lacking is laborers. Thus our vision must be to raise up laborers!

Questions to ask yourself:

1. Do I believe that God can transform the campus?

2. Do I have an effective plan for multiplying laborers?

3. Is my ministry focused on the quality of the individual?

4. Do I take any glory for what God has rightly done?

Exhortations:

1. Believe in the power of God!

2. Do not limit your vision! Let your eyes by God's eyes and your heart God's heart!

3. Always maintain the passion of your interaction with your Savior. He made you and redeemed you and preserves you.

We can reach the campus.

A Short Explanation of Catholic Theology

2011-05-29T15:39:00.000-07:00

It begins with a small error.

Augustine contended that justification makes us righteous. This means that we are justified because we actually are righteous.

This became progressive justification, or a justification that is intermixed with sanctification. Justification begins when the soul is made alive by grace and continues until the soul is fully righteous. When a man is righteous, God declares him so to be.

The whole progression:

1. The soul is infused with righteousness by the grace of the sacraments. The soul is brought to life in baptism, which cleanses the soul of original sin. However, the penalty of sin must still be paid, and this is done through a righteous life.

2. There are two types of sin. Venial sins, which are small and minor and are wiped away at the mass, do not kill the life of grace in the soul. Mortal sins, defined as conscious breaking of the 10 commandments, are mortal in the sense that they kill the life of the soul.

3. Confession and penance are sacramental acts in which grace is infused into the soul. For those in mortal sin, the soul is reconciled anew in confession. For all, the process of penance increases the righteousness of the soul and brings one closer to justification (the process of justification continues).

4. In order to make up for past sins, we all are in need of merit, or favor earned by good deeds. There exists a great treasury of merit, filled up by Christ and the deeds of the saints (especially Mary). The merit of these good deeds can be applied by the power of the Church to others by indulgences. It is a misconception that the counter-reformation ended the giving out of indulgences. It did not. It tightened up some abuses, like selling indulgences.

5. A saint is defined as a Christian who here on earth became fully righteous and was thus justified before God. At death, they go straight to the presence of God. Anyone who dies in a state of mortal sin goes to hell (whether baptized or not). Anyone who dies reconciled to God but no yet fully justified goes to purgatory. Purgatory is a period of cleansing in which the soul becomes righteous. Purgatory is temporary.

6. Mary the mother of Jesus is the greatest of the saints because she not only was fully justified on earth, but she never sinned. When Mary was in the womb, her soul was cleansed by God, so that she never inclined towards sin. This is known as the Immaculate Conception.

7. By praying to the saints, and especially to Mary, we can acquire merit and grow in righteousness. Mary is the queen of the saints and all grace is given out through her. Thus, she is considered co-redemptrix with Christ, because of her participation in redemption. But she is not the author of redemption.

8. By good deeds, participation in the sacraments (especially penance and the mass), and prayer to God and to the saints, one grows in righteousness, provided one refrains from mortal sin. This continues until the soul is fully infused with righteousness, and the soul is justified. Justification is a work in which we participate.

----------

This is what Luther reacted to. It has not changed but remains the same today. All the various parts of Catholicism which seem so odd and bizarre to many Protestants are not traditions which can be ignored in the name of unity, but part of an integrated whole which preaches a righteousness of human works. It demeans Christ, insults the Bible, and leaves its adherents locked into a dead legalism. It is wicked!

Don't be a fool. Just because a Catholic can affirm salvation is by faith in Christ does not mean their theology is Biblical. A Mormon may say the same thing.

An Echo Captured

2011-05-29T14:55:00.000-07:00

The sky was as blue as the poet's praise,
Blue enough to sing about, if a man would do such a thing.

I saw it quietly, my heart subsumed
And full of a fading song.

Decay'd

2011-05-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

Fatigue is another type of terror,
Breathless fear

Conscious body stopped in its own error

Rest. My cry is rest. O Lord!
Who made all that cold hands may touch and feel,
Made also this, which I fill each day, my tent
Before its weakness all the strong must kneel
Crooked arms exposed, proud backs also bent.
Betrayal! have many men cried, sensing
What they, blinded, are too afraid to own
Before such a foe their necks twist, tensing
Dust it is, ground deep to carbon-made bone
I will live forever! Forever! I
Will! But she falters, my poor man bitter
And dead alike is earth his only tie
Born dirty, a man in bitch's litter

I rust. Endless is the world ended, burning back
One fallen task.

Tire.

Feedback

2011-05-14T17:46:00.001-07:00

Does anyone read poetry anymore?

Pierced Words, explained

2011-05-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

1. Listen! The poet’s voice must speak; That is, that the aim of poetry must be to communicate propositional truth.
2. A sound alone is not enough, A rather obvious, thought appropriate, Shakespeare reference.
3. The world inherit with the meek Another obvious reference, this one to the Sermon on the Mount. Here, however, the obviousness of the reference is meant to provoke comparison. The full text is, "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." Sub-Note--You will always find my Scripture references from the NIV. It is my Scriptural language, which is unfortunate since the ESV, NASB, and especially the KJV are all much more conducive to beautiful expression. Sub-Note over. In what sense does the poet "inherit the earth" with the meek? As the meek become inheritors by their very meekness before God, that is, they demand nothing from him in view of their sinfulness, so the poet accepts meekly revealed truth from God, knowing his own thoughts to be weak and fragmented.
4. Meaning taken, handed, hewn rough. Like the meek receiving the world, here meaning is given, handed over, still rough not in substance but in apprehension.
5. Scrape from her the fallen remnant I love the word remnant, so I used it here though it doesn't quite fit. The truth is made female, and the remnants of our "hewn rough" fallen comprehension are scraped from her.
6. Words like Babel divided out One should not talk about difficulties in communication without Babel. Words once united men, now divide them and send them out.
7. A dark disconnect from him sent Rather than a scrambling of the languages themselves, I prefer to see Babel as the cursing of communication itself. God de-perfected language.
8. A rhythm lost, a misplaced route Lost, misplaced, touching on music, for poetry and music are both communication made almost perfect.
9. We see the life in dying grass Moving from fallen communication to draw a connection to the general fallenness of the world itself. These next four lines talk about how for moments we can glimpse the perfection of the world. We see in it life.
10. The meadow’s battle hid from view The meadow speaks peace to us, but in truth it is a furious and unending competition between plants and between animals and plants, and between animals and animals. The connection is back to poetry and as a bridge of communication.
11. Furious, the red queen’s morass The red queen is a reference to a common evolutionary phenomenon (which is in turn a Lewis Carrol reference, but I will consider it an evolutionary reference since I have not read Carrol) in which furious and constant adaptation must take place on the part of both predator and prey in order to main a peaceful looking equilibrium.
12. Her quiet deaths are no less true I hate romanticized views of nature.
13. But speak, the world says, speak of things If we saw this battle, we would cry out to hear of something else!
14. We lost when atoms split in two This is not a reference to the atomic bomb, but rather my own theory that when sin entered the world it created a natural emnity within the atom itself! From cooperating closely with one another, the electron and proton began competing...the electron to escape, and the proton to trap.
15. Such power, loosened, in her sings The power like the atomic bomb? It is that powerful, more so, though I said I was not referencing that, the mind will probably go there, so it is an appropriate connection. Rather, the power of poetry to see deeper, to see the cooperation of the meadow, to imagine the world, perfected.
16. Words that the ghost cleansed now accrue The Ghost = The Holy Spirit
17. Mine they are! I say, though I’m theirs The poet directs his words, but is also constrained to conform to truth.
18. The prophet’s glory second-hand The poet is prophet, revealer of God. It is his glory to knit together invisible things but it is a secondhand glory.
19. This is his lot, no joy compares
20. To speak what’s true, let truth command.
21. Crush your talents, break it, bend it! Talents here is a Biblical reference. The talents as things not belonging to you that were entrusted to you.
22. Given they were, now give them back.
23. Be shaped and shape, look to mend it I thought these last bits were more straightforward.
24. Perfection glimm’ring in the crack For moments, we glimpse perfection in the world, as though glimmering through the cracks. This is a Traherne reference, though I can't quote it right now.
25. Bondsmens’ ears were pierced once, and free, This is the heart of the poem, the source of the title. It refers to a Biblical practice in which men who had sold themselves into slavery because of debts would be set free at the end of every seven years. However, if the bondservant liked his master and wanted to remain with him, he would take an awl and have his master drive a nail through his ear and into the doorframe of the house.
26. In choice, so pierce your words to me. The connections should be complete and not need explaining. I will let you think about them.

Pierced Words

2011-05-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

Listen! The poet’s voice must speak;
A sound alone is not enough,
The world inherit with the meek
Meaning taken, handed, hewn rough.
Scrape from her the fallen remnant
Words like Babel divided out
A dark disconnect from him sent
A rhythm lost, a misplaced route
We see the life in dying grass
The meadow’s battle hid from view
Furious, the red queen’s morass
Her quiet deaths are no less true
But speak, the world says, speak of things
We lost when atoms split in two
Such power, loosened, in her sings
Words the ghost cleansed now accrue
Mine they are! I say, though I’m theirs
The prophet’s glory second-hand
This is his lot, no joy compares
To speak what’s true, let truth command.
Crush your talents, break it, bend it!
Given they were, now give them back.
Be shaped and shape, look to mend it
Perfection glimm’ring in the crack
Bondsmens’ ears were pierced once, and free,
In choice, so pierce your words to me.

Sevens

2011-05-13T17:31:00.000-07:00

I once had a fine fine life
Ne'er nowhere not now nor then
Plagued by my sweet lack of strife
Who why where what wherefore when
Can't stop what won't wield the knife
Pre post prying pricked my pen
But now she shan't be my wife

Restraint

2011-05-05T21:22:00.001-07:00

Restrained by form, not free except in how
The restraint itself liberates what now
Is seen as vast potential energy
Not seen but felt. Strange freedom that chains me
Constrains and trains me, slays me too now slain,
Living, once dead, once free, now caught, contain
What formerly was gone; now saved but spent
"This barrier once barred, by him now rent!"
Tearing heals and seeds when dropped must there lie
This restraint is pain, for who will comply
Not naturally, no, never not urging beyond the boundaries once set
Returns, by a skill only another can teach.

Stop in moments and consider this,
One short cannot buy anyone bliss,
It only breaks.

Poetry was meant to capture what cannot quite be seen.

And so return to form from constrained mind
And take what is and leave the rest behind,
Freedom is in a thing as it should be,
My shoulds and his, opposed, one victory:
His.

We're not about religion, man

2011-04-27T19:06:00.000-07:00

Why have so many Christians equated "religion" with "legalism?" Take a look at this:

This dude makes some good points, no doubt. But everything he says about religion seems to be aimed properly at legalism.

Some thoughts here.

1. The English word religion is used to describe belief and practice with reference to supernatural things. For Christians, this encompasses belief in the revelation of God, and obedience to the forms of worship proscribed thereby. Thus our religion is found in the Scriptures. Jesus Christ, as the great prophet of God, gave us forms of worship to submit ourselves to. These include the means of grace--baptism, the Lord's supper, the preaching of the Word--but also certain aspects of worship such as the observance of a day of rest, meeting together in a group, forms of prayer, etc.

2. From this we can see why older writers employed the word religion quite freely (and properly) to describe Christian worship and practice.

3. The entire Bible, old and new, along with godly expositors of it in every generation, have carefully distinguished between godly religious practice("worshiping in Spirit and truth," per John iv), which is internal and external according to the Word, and false or hypocritical worship, which is either invented, or merely external.

4. These are the two evils: an invented religion of man, or else a bare external observance. Because all religious practice is aimed at a unified communion with God (relationship, we would say, though we should more carefully define what we mean by that), it needs to be done both according to his command, and with the whole self. To alter either of those overthrows the whole purpose of religion. Or more precisely, makes true religion false.

5. In both of those we can see Keller's two thieves (an apt metaphor) of legalism and antinomianism. The Pharisees of the new testament emptied true religious observance of meaning (ex. praying in the streets to be seen), and invented complex religious practice designed to bring about communion with God. This is legalism. Paul fought both of these when men tried to alter the conditions of men's approach to God to include various legal observances.

6. So certainly, false religion always includes in it legalism. Also, the prescribed forms of religion for the church, such as prayer, fellowship, Lord's supper, when made merely external, are legalistic.

7. But why conflate the two? Probably because many Christians are embarrassed about various abuses which have flown under the banner of Christianity, such as the Crusades and the Inquisition. Also, perhaps they attempt to remove the objection they hear before it can even be made. "I'm just not into religion." "Ah, but neither was Jesus!" they say. Boom, objection answered, though of course what lay behind the objection was a rejection not of religion but of God.

8. Who cares though? Words are constantly changing their meaning. If you read "cleave" in a seventeenth century book it means to cling to something. But the most common usage nowadays is to split something apart. That's nothing to get mad about, it is just the common evolution of language. It annoys me as all poorly defined cliches do, but many things annoy me without needing a long blog post (a short facebook status suffices for most).

9. In this case, it matters because there is a communication disconnect between audience and the speaker. The definition of religion held in mind by the speaker is not the same as the one held in mind by the listener. When a non-Christian says "religion," they do not necessarily mean legalism. Even many Christians do not mean "legalism" when they say "religion." Communication is important, and since English translations of the Bible do not include this legalism-religion equivalency, we are holding our audience captive to a position they cannot find for themselves in the Scriptures.

10. We therefore do them a disservice by not speaking the Biblical language to them, and by denying that religion is what we offer, we deal in bad faith with them. For the Christian MUST be participative in the forms of religion that Jesus has given! Religion is no enemy, except when legalistic.

Be careful wand'ring heart!

2011-04-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

Be careful wand'ring heart!
Whole worlds cannot contain nor satisfy,
Insatiable she is and why?
The whole she wants, not part.

Be careful wand'ring heart!
By nature blind, restored in eyes but late,
And trained by empty years to sate,
Her hunger on but part

Be careful wand'ring heart!
The world deceives and pleasant empty lies,
Seem true when mixed with pleasure's cries,
They death alone impart,

Be careful wand'ring heart!
The mind cannot restrain what is not known,
And all to flatter self are prone,
Though hidden lurks sin's dart.

Be careful wand'ring heart!
Preserve her love by no work of your own
But work! You must protect your throne!
Her guard lest you depart.

Good Friday

2011-04-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

Loyal readers will remember that I am not such a big fan of the liturgical calendar. I think the increased interest in liturgy by disaffected young Evangelicals is absurd.

How to Get What You Want From the Word

2011-04-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

1. Ignore context

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Therefore, there is full equality for women in all roles in the church.

2. Have your idea already in place before you crack open the Scriptures.

If you look long and hard enough, you'll be able to support it.

3. Use narrative stories to prescribe normal actions.

This works great for the baptism of the Holy Spirit, less great for the spiritual gift of hearing a talking donkey.

4. Claim that you need another special key for understanding the author.

Without these special documents that we scholars have analyzed, how can you know what Saint Paul REALLY said?

5. Don't read it.

That way you can pretend you're following it.

6. Remember that thing you read that one time? Or that thing you heard that pastor say? That explains it all.

No it doesn't. It was just what you wanted to hear.

7. Spend all your time thinking about that part you really like.

But I like that part! Yeah well, God wrote more.

8. If a passage is ambiguous, choose the meaning you most like, rather than using cross references.

The Puritans called this the "analogy of Scripture."

28 things I learned in 28 years

2011-04-14T18:40:00.000-07:00

28. Trying new food is a low-risk, high-reward activity.

27. Don't set your heart too strongly on shirts, because they tend to disappear.

26. Don't buy cheap pants.

25. Who cares how nice your car is? Anyone who does is an idiot.

24. If you are angry with someone, you can either talk to them directly, or forgive them completely. Those are the two options. Not an option: talking about with other people, or clinging to the anger.

23. The outdoors is nice, but it is also outdoors.

22. Two easy things: exceeding low expectations, and disappointing high ones.

21. My least favorite question: "What is your favorite color?" I just pick a random color and then the conversation is over.

20. Fear of change is futile. Things will always change. Ignoring inevitabilities is stupid. How many evils have come from a simple fear of something new?

19. Always look for new friends.

18. I have never regretted obeying the Word. No matter the difficulty of it, no matter the immediate consequences. By contrast, every regret I have contains within the flavor of rebellion and disobedience.

17. When people say, I regret nothing, it is empty bravado. We all have things we regret.

16. Everything new!

15. Fear is the great enemy! Fear holds me back from so much, from so much depth of fellowship, so many moments of potential joy and pleasure! I look forward to the day when fear will be no more.

14. This prayer I pray for myself every day: "May the eyes of my heart be enlightened, in order that I might see the hope to which he has called me, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints."

13. Most of the time when you are trying to impress other people, they are mostly thinking about how they can impress you, and so you both end missing each other. The signals you send are misinterpreted, and vice versa. A fearless man will always love.

12. The real reason I decided not to pursue classical music further than I did was that the minutiae of excerpt practicing was killing me. I love to learn new things too much.

11. A valuable thing: a careful balance.

10. My most valuable possession: knowledge of the Word.

9. It is the great embarrassment of Christianity, that its people are so shamelessly ignorant of the Word, and that the ministers of God seem so content to leave their people in ignorance. Even excellent churches, even excellent ministries, even famous and brilliant pastors hardly seem to care that the average person in the pew knows his Bible so little.

8. Most of the things people worry about are completely pointless.

7. The cost-ness of life here, that all things cost, energy, money, time. All of them finite, all of them over. We instinctively hate this.

6. That my father and mother are my friends, my confidantes, and my advisors...what a blessing.

5. Don't be content with poor communication. Don't satisfy yourself with empty sayings that you couldn't define if someone asked you. Don't let your emotions lead into sloppy thinking.

4. There is no place for lies in our life. Learn to hate a lie for what it is.

3. I am unmarried. I have not learned to be content in this.

2. I am irrational.

1. What foundation can I stand upon except forgiveness? How could I make my way in pain without knowledge of future relief? How can I comprehend all things except ordered and purposeful? Jesus is the root, the offspring, the lamb, the king, the foundation. This is my all, for many years now, and until I die.

Some thoughts from John Bunyan on the ministry of the gospel

2011-04-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

Taken from Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners

He is relating his experience in being called to preach and his various struggles in it.

1. He was hesitant to enter into this high calling.

He began by only speaking one-to-one, and began his public ministry only because of the persistent request of the saints around him. They asked him to, and persisted in asking. He found that he was not content unless he was in the exercise of his gift, not because of the public acclaim (which in truth, in his own day Bunyan got little of), but because the gifts themselves were given not so that a man might edify only himself.

2. He only believed that he was gifted in it, when he saw the fruit of it.

But I first could not believe that God should speak by me to the heart of any man, still counting myself unworthy. This was not false humility, for before entering into ministry Bunyan wrestled with fear of damnation and a terrible consciousness of his sin for nearly ten years. It was really amazing to him that God would see fit to use him.

3. He preached his own experience.

I have been as one sent to them from the dead; I went myself in chains, to preach to them in chains; and carried that fire in my own conscience, that I persuaded them to be aware of. Bunyan recounts that his ministry began by his preaching of the law and the reality of sin (this was his theme for two years!), and then he altered his preaching to hold forth Jesus Christ in all His offices. This he continued in for a further two years. After this, he spoke on the mystery of union (by which he means communion, or depth of experential intimacy) with Christ. These he calls the three chief points of God. He only stayed on the third point for one year because he was arrested.

4. He was concerned with the good of the person he preached to.

He would constantly pray as he preached that God would make the word effectual to the salvation of the soul he spoke to, and would grieve that Satan would steal him away. In this, he relied always on the power of God. It pleased me nothing to see people drink in opinions, if they seemed ignorant of Jesus Christ, and the worth of their salvation...

5. He stuck to what was important

I never cared to meddle with things that were controverted, and in dispute among the saints. This should be tempered by his fierce opposition to things that we might consider unimportant but which Bunyan saw as essential. He opposed the Arminian conception of salvation, and the Roman system of worship. But the matters of church government, details of Sabbath-keeping, music, etc he did not concern himself with. What was important: the word of faith, and the remission of sins by the death and sufferings of Jesus.

6. He didn't plagiarize

Though he didn't condemn those who do. He wanted to feel his sermons, and so spoke ex tempore.

7. He gloried in saving souls.

Here are some good lines: My heart hath been so wrapped up in the glory of this excellent work, that I counted myself more blessed and honored of God by this, than if He had made me the emperor of the Christian world, or the lord of all the glory of the earth without it.

Pride and the Minister of the Gospel

2011-04-05T00:27:00.000-07:00

Notes from personal experience

Natural man

1. The effect of pride is first for the soul to magnify whatever is attractive and good and to hide from self-knowledge all that is ugly and sinful. The conclusion readily reached, which can exist side-by-side even with professions of sinfulness ("I am the worst of sinners!" proclaims the man, hoping by this to set his humility in the same category as Paul's), is that he is not so bad, for all that.

2. Then also, what will they think if they knew and saw the deep wanderings, the terrifying things that lurk in his heart? Perhaps they will think that he is no different from all sinful men, but he is loath to lose his self-deceit.

3. Self-knowledge and self-deceit, the first known intellectually and the second felt experentially. So a man knows he is a sinner even when he fails to hate his sin.

4. But it is just a little one! says pride. There are none that are little. Wasn't it just a small act of deceit when the pride of Annas led him to lie to the Holy Spirit and to the church?

Also in his work

5. His giftings are of unique purpose for the church, and unique prominence. In him works strongest that Pharisaical temptation, to offer up prayers on the street corners, to bless God that he stands in his place, that he teaches, that he is not like other men (does this not hide in your heart?). Thus he may brag about his relationship with God. He fails to learn from Paul that "our presentable parts need no special honor."

6. His knowledge was given him as a trust, but he must always know that the way of salvation is simple, that sufficient knowledge unto salvation is possessed by men who know nothing of the subtleties he glories in. Christ once told him that he must become like a child if he would enter. Has the knowledge of maturity puffed him beyond this simple state?

7. Thus he glories in what he knows, and thinking that all must know it, he makes for himself and others a maze of intellectual inquiry, a vain and empty pursuit that men have tasted the dust of from the Greeks onward. Knowledge is fear, says the Hebrews, who were wiser when they taught not to separate what is known from what is done.

8. Pride hides from view the gap between these two inseparable things. Pride makes one rest in the fallibility of one's own thoughts. Pride is self-deception. Thus Paul, who would beat his body and make it his slave, lest he speak from an empty knowledge and miss for himself the promises.

9. Pride holds him back from the warnings of Scripture, that a man may preach Christ from false motives, winning his audience but losing his own soul. Pride makes him forget what even the Apostle James held in reverence when he said that not many of us should presume to be teachers. Pride shifts his eyes first from his own path into the path of others.

10. A turn of phrase! Admired for some neat definition! When he has not praise he despises those who do under the mask of false humility. When he has it he puffs up his own opinions to despise those that disagree without acclaim. But all the time he lacks that terrible, consuming remembrance that it is the holy things of the temple which he handles, that Nadab and Abihu were consumed when the offered there idolatrous fire in the name of piety.

His conclusions, advice for those who minister

11. Speak plainly. If you hold in trust a communication from God to men, dare you confuse it with flowery phrases?

12. Search yourself. "Hate what is evil, cling to what is good."

13. The Words you speak to them and to yourself must be searching. They must grip and shake. They must enter your soul. This is that living and active Word, with its own power. This is where you focus, on this power, bending all your giftings and power to the workings of the Word of God itself and the actings of faith upon it. Here be concerned that God be glorified in the revelation of himself in what you say. If this consumes you, at cost to all dignity, all position, all fame, all honor among men, you will have entered the narrow gate, and you will have seized the kingdom of God with force.

14. Remember always the great mercy and love of God, that he would give such double-minded and sin-riddled men the gift of his mercy, the participation in this greatest of works, and thus forge in us the crown he will later place on our heads.

15. Would you give all for this crown? Would you have fame in your small circle, or this crown? Who among us who has tasted even a bit of the power of the coming age would exchange that crown for the world? Yet the time may be long from the power of that taste until perseverance has its reward, a sojourn in darkness and difficulty. Our hearts are weak and betray us. He who overcomes will not be hurt by the second death.

Dodging

2011-04-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

BASHIR: So, why do you choose, for example, to accept and promote the works of the early writer Origen and not, for example, Arius who took a view of Jesus' deity as being not God? Why do you select one and not select the other?

BELL: Because first and foremost, I'm a pastor, and so I deal with real people in a real world asking and wrestling with these issues of faith. What I have discovered over and over again is there are people who have questions and hunches and have sort of, "I'm really struggling with this," and when you can simply give them the gift of, "By the way, within the Christian tradition, there are scholars and theologians and there are other people who have had the same questions. They have had the same theories."

-----

The question asked is avoided.

NavNight Talk--[29.3.2011]

2011-03-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

Title: The Nature of True Biblical Love

All love hath its foundation in relationship.
--John Owen

Introduction--

In Matthew xxii.34-40, Jesus sums up the entirety of our obedience in two commands: Love God, and love others. This certainly seems easy. And in fact, a religion built upon love has a great deal of cultural resonance. Why, then, is it so difficult?

Thing of the great variety of acts that are claimed to be done in the name of love. Both Jonathan's service to David and Amnon's rape of Tamar were acts motivated by the emotional experience of love. Very different in their outcome. Love is difficult because its true nature is little understood.

Part I-- The Nature of True Love

I John iv.10--This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sin.

From this passage, we can arrive at the following definition of love:

Freely willing the best to another

Let's examine this definition as displayed in God's love to us, and also in that which claims the name of love but is actually counterfeit.

1) "to another"--God's love is set upon an object, this object being an external person. All love goes out to another person.

Counterfeit love convinces us that we have set our love on another. However, the ultimate object is ourselves, and only secondarily others.

2) "willing"-- God's love acts. It is not an emotional expression (indeed, God being immutable does not experience passionate love), but an act, a decision. He sent his Son.

Counterfeit love exists primarily in the emotions and only secondarily in action. It may rise up to action, but not necessarily. This is why counterfeit love is so changeable, so temporary. Emotions change, and love which exists primarily in the emotions will change with them.

3) "the best"-- God's love is an exalting love, or a love that gives to its object that actual best. In this case, it is the reconciliation with God that atonement brings.

Counterfeit love generally desires good for its object (few men will evil as evil to another and call it love). However, it is a good that concurs with the good of the one loving, and not necessarily the best. The example of this is the parent who shirks the pain of discipline. He may give a good thing to his child (some pleasure, some desired thing), but in robbing him of the benefits of discipline, he does not give him the best.

4) "freely"-- God's love is without cause, spontaneous. It is not dependent on anything in the one loved. "Not that we loved God" John says, indicating that his love came not in response to our motions of love. It initiated. This is a universal declaration of Scripture. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Counterfeit love is most clearly delineated from true love here. Counterfeit love is dependent, conditional, and need-based. Counterfeit love asks first for something from the object of its love. We love because we are first loved.

Now then, since we are dependent creatures, capable of no truly free act, it stands to reason that all our love is counterfeit love. We can not move into love without asking for something back from the one we love. This is often obscured from us because we are receiving back from the other person what we want. This asking, this demanding from others some desired emotion, some need, this is generally not a conscious act.

So then, we are confronted with this paradox concerning love: True love must be free. Our love cannot be free. What resolves this?

John again makes it clear in his epistle: We love because he first loved us.

Part II--How to love others, and God

A foundation, and three steps:

Foundation

We must first be reconciled to God in Christ. Excluded from the presence of God by our sin, we are cut off from him whom we were meant to live upon. Christ came to bring those who were far off near to God. All those desires, all the needs which we ask the world around us to satisfy, were meant to be satisfied in God. You cannot love unless you have been born again.

In Christ, you are at peace with God. In Christ, God loves you. This love is a completing love that satisfies. This is the foundation you stand upon in this world, this word of peace spoken to you which meets your every need so fully that you are free to move outward in love towards the world around you.

This is the foundation. If you are not reconciled to God, your love will never be free.

Step 1

Seek to satisfy all your felt needs in Christ.

Though all needs are objectively met in the gospel, the weakness of our flesh and the turmoil of our worldly life daily disturbs us. We may seek from others a need that is properly met only in Christ. The human heart has two primary nees

1. To be known and understood

Objectively you are know by God. Pour out your heart to him.

2. To be loved and cherished.

Objectively you are loved by God. Speak to yourself this truth.

The pathway of satisfying our needs in Christ is a process of preaching to ourselves truth. Bring yourself daily to his presence.

Step 2

Know the limitations of your love, and seek to remedy them.

There are two limitations to our love.

1. Power-- We are limited by our ability to accomplish that which we want. We cannot bring all the good we want to others.

Remedy: Pray. God's power is not limited. Our model here is the group of friends who brought their paralyzed friend on a mat to Jesus.

2. Knowledge-- We are limited in our knowledge both of what is the best for others, and in the best way to bring it about.

Remedy: The Word contains all sufficient information for us. This is the meaning of Paul's prayer in Phillipians

May your love abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight

Step 3

Act.

Two warnings as you act in love towards others.

1. Loving another person may cause immediate pain to him or to you (or both). So the pathways of love may be difficult.

2. You may be wrong about your motives and the purity of your love. You must be humble, self-searching, and meek in your love. Seek sincerity (Paul: Love must be sincere)

Part III--The patterns of love

Here are a few short tips on improving your knowledge of the pathways of love. The duties of love change based on the nature of the relationship between lover and beloved. We see two general patterns in Scripture, modeled for us in the trinitarian relationship.

The love of protection or correction-- (the love of the Father for the Son), (a disposing love)
The love of obedience or respect-- (the love of the Son for the Father), (a submitting love)

These patterns exist first in our love to God. All love for God has the nature of obedience. We cannot love God apart from obedience. The emotional experience of our love must follow in this train, accompanying and making sweet the obedience that we render. Scripture is very clear that God is not loved unless he is obeyed. Jesus says the same thing! If you love me, you will obey my commands. Christ exist in relationship to us as the husband to the wife. Thus, as a wife to her husband, we must obey and submit to him.

These patterns are expressed in all human relationships. There are four primary human relationships.

1. Government-citizen (both civil and religious government)
2. Master-servant (we would say, employer-employee)
3. Husband-wife
4. Parent-child

Peer relationships should be defined by mutual submission, so that we sometimes express love to peers through protection and correction, and at other times by submission and obedience.

Part IV--A brief word on emotions

Most of us associate love very strongly with its emotional component, and it would be easy to assume from this sermon that I am entirely discounting that aspect of it, as if true love were cold and dispassionate, assessment based, coolly rational. Let me be clear in saying that the emotional experience of love, or the investment of our heart in the object of our love, is a glorious and beautiful thing. Indeed, God has seen fit to increase the emotional delight in others as relationship grow closer and closer, so that the nearest we will experience the joys of full relationship with him in heaven is represented to us by the husband-wife union.

However, the sweetness and joys of emotional love are meant to accompany and complete the physical actings of it. We must strive to bring our emotions into line with the Word of God and with our rational experience. Actions must lead emotions, not vice versa.

NavNight Talk--[22.3.2011]

2011-03-24T21:17:00.000-07:00

Title: The Nature of True Biblical Faith

All faith respecteth a testimony.
--John Owen

There are two ways that faith may fail us.

1. It may fail (that is, it may never have been true). This is daily evidenced to us by apostasy of false Christians, but is noticed most particularly in cases where faith tested by trial or persecution fails.

2. Faith may be misplaced. This faith often has a false strength, because the devil often declines to assault it. All false religion in the world is a misplaced faith. An example of this is the multitude of Byzantine Christians who died to defend iconography. Brave in the face of suffering, but for a cause that God actively opposes.

How can we ensure that our faith is neither failing nor misplaced? What even is faith?

(Side tangent--I am sick of people speaking vaguely for effect, or describing their Christian life in terms that they cannot define. If I ask someone to live by faith, I want them to know clearly what that means. This is real communication. [Side side-tangent--why does everyone think Rob Bell is such a good communicator if he does not do this? He is a communication inhibitor! He discourages real communication])

Part I--The nature of faith in general

Faith has three parts

1. A testimony about the future
2. A person(s) giving this testimony
3. An implicitly or explicitly requested response

What does this look like in action? Here is an example.

When you board an airplane, you have no guarantee that the plane will get you safely to your destination.

1. However, the testimony given is that the plane will take you safely to your destination.
2. This testimony is given by a wide variety of sources: the airline's reputation, the reputation of American airline travel, the safety record, your past experience, the experience of others, perhaps the principles of aerodynamics themselves.
3. Your response (if you find these testimonies convincing) is to board the plane and venture upon the testimony.

From this, we can establish a simple and practical definition of faith.

Faith is the faculty of our soul that connects the truth of a testimony to our will.

Perhaps you don't think that is so simple. Here is another.

Faith is our "sense of truth" (think, sense of smell or sense of hearing) that enables us to act in response to a testimony or promise.

Several important observations from this:

1. Faith always has to do with something that is not seen. Faith looks to the future, or present the future to the mind. Thus, faith is "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." The KJV here presents an interesting alternate translation: Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith brings the future outcome and presents it to our minds in the present.

2. Faith is weak or strong based on our perception of the trustworthiness of the person giving the testimony. Thus if the plane we are thinking of boarding is old and rickety, and this same airline has recently had a string of fatal crashes, our faith will be weaker, and may entirely fail.

Part 2--Types of Faith

1. Natural or scientific faith

A) The testimony here is given by the laws of the natural world. These are orderly and can be trusted to give accurate testimonies about the future.

B) This type of faith is very strong in the modern world.

C) The limitations of this type of faith:

--Though the laws themselves are orderly, our understanding of them is imperfect.
--They are confined in the subject of their testimonies. They can speak about only created things. They can tell us nothing of anything above themselves.

2. Human/Institutional faith

A) The testimony here is given by a human or group of humans. If the origin of the testimony is not known, it is called tradition.

B) The strength of this faith depends on our perception of the speaker. In general, institutional faith is quite weak in the modern world. We are more willing to trust the personal experience of those we know deeply. It should be noted that this was not always the case, and that in the past institutions have commanded a lot of faith.

C) The limitations of this type of faith:

--The self-interest of men, who rarely tell the whole truth
--The fallibility of men, even when motives are pure

Human faith is often strong when it is traditional, or when the speaker of the testimony is not known and thus it is easy to imagine pure motives.

Note: The faith you have in your own conceptions is human, and thus limited by your fallibility and self-interest. There are few men in this world that have the humility to distrust their own foolish conceptions.

3. Biblical faith, or divine faith

In almost every instance, when the Bible talks about faith and belief, this is the type of faith it is indicating. Important passages to study for understanding these things are II Corinthians 3 and John 5.

A) The testimony here is the voice of God himself, spoken in two ways.

Hebrews 1:1-2

In the past God spoke to our forefathers through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son.

OT through the prophets, at various times. Then a final and complete testimony delivered all at once (and recorded by those he taught himself, the apostles). This is the NT.

B) The testimony is received strongly or weakly according to the perception of the voice itself.

Here is important point, because it is only the Holy Spirit speaking through the Word itself that enables the fallen understanding of man to perceive the voice of God. Thus Paul's prayer that God would give the Ephesians "the Spirit of wisdom and understanding," and that God would "open the eyes of their heart so that they may see the hope to which he has called them." Christ himself instructs us, "he who has ears let him hear."

For this reason, divine faith is said to be a gift of God, for it requires a work of God. We are not saved by our faith, but rather through our faith (instrumentally).

C) This faith has no limitations. The God who speaks it is both omnipotent and omniscient. His knowledge is not limited, and so what he speaks about can be trusted as fully true. His power is not limited, and so what he says will come to pass he is able to perform.

Part III--Signs of weak faith

1. Disobedience to God

2. Contrary obedience to human authority

Part IV--How to strengthen faith

1. Pray: Open my ears to your voice as I read the Scriptures.

2. Labor to know God deeper, especially to know his power, love, and wisdom.

3. We must know also the testimony itself, it must be written on our hearts so that the Holy Spirit may continually speak through it. (In other words, read the Bible more and memorize it)

4. Labor to know God's Word as a guide for all your actions, as the control for all your thoughts about God, and as a channel for your emotional experience of God.

The good old days

2011-03-17T18:39:00.001-07:00

When people used to comment on my blog.

Love Wins

2011-03-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

Question: Do you believe in hell? Tell us plainly.

Answer: Yes, I believe in hell.

Q: Excellent! So you believe in a place of eternal conscious torment where God will punish the unregenerate.

A: No of course not.

Q: (confused surprise)

A: I am sorry, when I say I believe in hell, I am of course referring to a radical redefinition of hell that has no Scriptural foundation and which I have invented based on philosophical assumptions about the nature of God's love. I think hell as a place of eternal conscious torment is offensive and evil.

Q: But when I asked the question, "do you believe in hell," you must have known that I was referring to the Biblical conception of it.

A: Yes I did.

Q: Then why did you say yes? Because you actually do not believe in that, or anything remotely resembling that. You actually think that it is evil. For you to say yes to my question when you clearly knew what I meant was actually deceptive.

A: Yes. My conception of hell is so far removed from what everybody means when they say hell, that it would be constructive to clear communication if I called it something else. After all, the way I have defined hell is more or less equivalent to "pain and suffering as a result of living in a fallen world."

Q: Why don't you call it something else then? Since the goal of writing and preaching is clear communication, it would greatly help all of your listeners understand what you really meant if you didn't toy with words.

A: Yes.

Q: So why don't you? The only conclusion that I can make from this is that you don't actually particularly care about clear communication.

A: That is true. I find if I can use ambiguous words, or redefine words, it gives me a great deal of latitude in dealing with criticism. For example, if someone accuses me of saying there is no hell, I can say that I do believe in hell. This takes the winds out of the sails of his criticism. Then if he tries to pin me down to a precise meaning of words, I can accuse him of being needlessly critical and obsessed with doctrine at the expense of charity.

Q: But this isn't helpful to the church at all! If I asked you if you were allergic to peanuts, and you said yes, you'd expect that when I said peanuts, I meant the thing that you are actually allergic to. If I had redefined peanuts to mean wheat, I could actively harm you through my miscommunication! Communication is difficult enough already in this fallen world, why hinder it further?

A: I don't know. I like being popular. I am afraid of total rejection by the evangelical world.

Q: Why do you have such a great reputation as a communicator? Even your enemies say this. But communication is about preciseness of language and the actual exchange of ideas. You seem more interest in ambiguous impressions that your audience can interpret however the will, or at least, that gives you flexibility to defend yourself from critics on both sides.

A: The root of my reputation is from my story-telling ability and my personal charisma. Both of those are undeniable.

Q: Such qualities are possessed by many in the world. Both are neutral gifts which the possessor has an obligation to use for the glory of God. True communication, after all, is an unfolding of the mind of God by the power of his Spirit. This done only through the Word of God. It is practical, for the aid of the listeners, to encourage them unto obedience and perseverance. It is done with humility and care.

A: I use the Scriptures in my preaching and writing.

Q: Do you use them to defend a position you have already arrived at? Or do you develop your argument exegetically?

A: Without question the first.

Q: Then you have no power in your words, since they are your own. They may have a form of power, a temporary response to your natural giftings. But the true power of all teaching and preaching is the Holy Spirit operating through his Word. You are but an instrument.

A: I don't have the same motivations for my writings and my preaching. I am interested in helping people, but in a slightly different way. I want to create a form of Christianity that allows men to silence their conscience while giving their sin free reign.

Q: Come now, even your harshest critics don't accuse you of that. Surely that can't be your conscious object!

A: No, not my conscious object, but since this is the result of all false religion, it is what ultimately motivates my heart. I have a hard time telling people that haven't repented and sought salvation in Christ that they will be punished for it. Also, many of the people in my church who are attracted to my doctrine-light and permissive form of teaching struggle to comprehend such harshness. Since they think little of their own sin, they have trouble thinking much of it in others.

Q: But you will be judged not on the attractiveness of your doctrine, but on its fidelity to God's Words! These aren't small things that you are trifling with!

A: Well, to comfort myself, I would rather believe in a God who would show mercy to me in all things, even over and against his Word.

Q: What do you make of the many warnings against false teachers and the specific warning to teachers, that they will be judged more severely? Don't these give you pause?

A: No. I trust in his mercy.

Q: But faith goes out to a spoken word! We trust his mercy because of the assurance he gives in laying hold of the means by which he shows us grace! We trust his Word first, and foremost!

A: Why do you challenge my vague sayings? Why do you disturb the peace I have spoken to myself?

Q: Because the minister is not under obligation to falsely comfort his listeners, but to guide them safely to Christ! How dare you speak peace to men where God has not?

A: I knew that there would be doctrine police who would try to pick apart my teaching!

Q: Do you distrust my motives? Do you think I am trying to score points for myself here? Do you think that I might be legitimately concerned about the effect of your teachings? Could you extend charity also to me and assume that if I criticize your writings it is out of concern for your soul and the souls of your many readers?

A: That is the charity that I ask of you. I see no reason to extend it back.

The Theologian

2011-03-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

His words are careful and precise.

He does not tolerate studied ambiguity.

He desires to place himself in the stream of the thought of the church, and so he must also be a historian.

He is suspicious of novelty and wild claims of rediscovery.

He knows, with Solomon, that there is nothing new under the sun, that heresy is constantly repeating itself.

He is familiar with his sin, knowing that the ears that itch are his own.

He fears wide-spread acclaim.

He writes not to write but for the good of those who read.

His writing is approached with fear and trembling.

He knows that not many should teach, and has carefully come to the conclusion that he may permit himself to do so.

He knows that theology is about living, and that living must be done in knowledge.

He knows that his words must be practical and true.

He fears dryness.

He submits every thought to the Word.

His words are plain.

He despises the dilettante, the lover of mere words, the frivolous pursuer of ideas.

He must pray.

He feels (the weight) and knows that one day he will be accountable for every word he has said.

NavNight Talk-- 1.3.2011

2011-03-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

We return to Jesus's earthly ministry:

Jesus went
Jesus taught
Jesus preached
Jesus healed

This week we will focus on the third part of his ministry, his preaching. Remember that teaching and preaching can be distinguished by the part of the soul that they address. Teaching is compared to light in a dark place; it addresses the mind. Preaching, however, addresses itself to the will, drawing forth the conclusions brought to light by the teaching.

Preaching is where they offense comes in, preaching is where Jesus entered the lives of the people he spoke to. Preaching has the character of a command, or instruction, and as such it cannot be passively heard. To be passive under preaching IS to respond. This is the nature of things. If I say to you, "Do this," it is impossible for you to stay neutral. You either do it or you refuse. Inactivity is refusal. Jesus denied everyone the opportunity to remain neutral towards him by preaching.

Text: John vii.37-38

37 On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. 38 Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them."

Jesus's preaching is general but not universal. He speaks generally to the masses in the temple for the Passover feast. However, his preaching by nature of being confined to one place and one time is not universal.

1. The condition of those he address: "If anyone is thirsty..."

Thirst has four parts.

A) A lack of moisture--This is an intolerable condition leading to death.

B) An awareness of it--No matter how dire a man's condition, we cannot say he thirsts unless he is aware of his lack. Hence Christ, "Blessed are the poor."

C) An awareness of the possibility of being satisfied--Simply the awareness of a lack of moisture does not breed thirst; it would breed simply despair. Thirst also stirs the soul into seeking a remedy.

D) Knowledge of the location of this satisfaction--Water will satisfy our lack of moisture. Therefore thirst motivates the soul to seek after water.

Now, the sum of Christ's teaching is to create in man a thirst. First, he revealed to man the dangers of his spiritual condition, his extreme poverty through sin, and the death that awaits all who disobey the law. Second, he presented himself as the Messiah, the sent one, the one through whom forgiveness and new life would come.

His message: You are thirsty and I am water.

If his listeners were not convinced of these two things, all his preaching was useless.

2. The call, or the invitation

In two parts:

A) The voice

Every call has a voice, every command comes from a commander, a speaker. In this case, it is the voice of God which addresses us in the call. When we read Jesus say, "Come to me," in the Word, it is the voice of God itself which addresses us.

Now, not everyone perceives it to be God. Hence the diversity of responses. Jesus says, he who has ears let him hear. If Christ calls, and you hear in his voice the summons of God, you will respond. Our response to any voice is based on our perception of the authority of the speaker.

B) The command

We can call this a command, because the one who speaks it has the authority of a king. But we can also call it an invitation, because the one who speaks it is filled with tenderness and love surpassing our understanding. He entices and commands in the same words.

The words of his command are simple: "Come to me and drink." This is to believe in him with the faith that ushers to soul into his presence. This is to seek in him the remedy for what bestirs the soul. Are you thirsty? Here is water. Are you hunger? Here is bread. Are you weary? Here is rest. Are you sick? Here is healing. Are you enslaved? Here is freedom.

Come to me and drink, you who are thirsty. Why would we summon them thus unless in him WAS the water that could satisfy their thirst? This is metaphor of course, a powerful one because of the nature of thirst, but to the soul in need of life, Christ summons you. Here is forgiveness and the new birth. Here is hope. He calls because he possesses it to give, and because he is willing to give.

Anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists, and that he rewards those that seek him. Believe these two things about the call:

--The call comes from God, it is an invitation from him who has all power.
--That in responding, you will receive full satisfaction. Your needs will be fully met.

--------------------------------

This is not once, but constant. What is it to come to Christ?

1. To seek in him the satisfaction of all desires (and its corollary: to not seek in other things the satisfaction of any desire).

To whom does your heart belong? Life is given only by Christ. Where else do you seek it?

2. To take the yoke of Christ upon yourself.

To come to Christ is to be his, and to not come to other things. No one who places one hand on the plow and yet looks back is fit for service to the kingdom of God. His yoke is easy because it is a conformity to the design in which he made us. A thing longs to be as it was made. And so you long to fill yourself with that which alone can fill us. Insatiable desires set upon eternal things give eternal fulfillment. A desire satisfied, said Solomon, is a tree of life.

Come to him once and forsake all other things. Throw off the world, which entices with empty lies. Throw of the flesh, which fogs the senses in empty and vain pleasures. Throw these off and pursue the greatest thing. Come to Christ, once, constantly, forever.

My thoughts on Romans vii

2011-02-23T16:51:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine preached on Romans viii.1 recently. His sermon can be found here. He had earlier written a post on his pastor's thoughts on Romans vii. Romans vii has long been an argued over passage; the controversy centers around Paul's use of the first person in the second half of the chapter. There is a wide variety of opinions on it. Here is the passage with a few common interpretations:

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature[d] a slave to the law of sin.

1. Paul is describing his experience before he was saved. This is a common Arminian/Catholic position. The problem with this is although some degree of moral uncertainty and dilemma may exist in the unregenerate, it is hard to ascribe some of the things he says here to them. Does the nonbeliever "delight in God's law?"

2. Paul is describing his experience after he was enlightened to the reality of his spiritual condition but before he is regenerated. Martyn Lloyd-Jones is the only person as far as I know to espouse this. He does so after careful analysis and a lot of his reasoning is sound. But it doesn't really fit the scope of the apostle's argument, and would be a lengthy bit of Romans devoted to a situation of little practical application.

3. Paul is using a rhetorical device to illustrate the experience of Israel. This is the solution proposed by Moo in the NICNT, a commentary I normally trust. My problem with this is that it doesn't really pass the "huh?" test. As in, what the heck are you talking about and how would anyone ever get that interpretation from the text unless the spent three days myopically studying the Greek to try and come up with a clever explanation? Also, why would Paul do that? Also, why would he do that in such a confusing way?

4. Paul is describing his present experience, and it is normative. This has been the general orthodox/reformed opinion over the years. The best point in its favor is Paul's use of the first person present tense. When you read the first person present tense, the natural way to interpret it is at face value. If I say, "I am experiencing doubt right now," the best way to interpret my statement is that at the present moment, I am experiencing doubt. So, when Paul says, "I am sold as a slave to sin," shouldn't we interpret it as him saying, I am presently sold as a slave to sin? Of course, the problem with the interpretation is that in the previous chapter, Paul had made a big deal about the Christian NOT being a slave to sin any longer. It is difficult for us to read most of his statements in this passage as describing the normative experience of the Christian.

---

Lloyd-Jones makes an excellent point in his analysis of Romans vii. Where is the Holy Spirit? Romans viii.1 is clearly a transition into a description of the Spirit-filled Christian life, a life which is marked by a growth into a holiness, one of freedom over sin. Romans vii is conspicuously missing the Holy Spirit. I think it is impossible to argue that Paul is describing his normative experience in Romans vii. This would cause him to contradict himself. Not to mention, it doesn't fit into the scope of his argument, which finds him describing the true value and role of the law.

However, I find the argument of the first person present as a rhetorical device to be unsatisfying. Paul never uses this, nor do we find it anywhere in the Scripture. To use it in this way at this time would only cause confusion in his readers. Not to mention the fact that there is a clear transition point between verses 13 and 14, where Paul moves from using the past tense to using the present tense. Isn't the simplest explanation to say that he is moving from describing his past experience to describing his present experience?

Here is my solution to this dilemma. We should always keep in mind the large scale scope of what the author is doing. Paul is describing the role of the Law for the Christian. He has said that the Christian dies to the power of the Law. So in Chapter vii, Paul shows what the law can and cannot do. First, no man can attain justification by it, it only convicts him and reveals his sinfulness to him. Second, no man can be sanctified by the power of law. No matter how well he knows it or how vigorously he desires to conform to it, he cannot.

To do this, Paul uses his own experience as a self-described "Hebrew of Hebrews," who had formerly considered himself "in regard to legalistic righteousness, perfect." But when the Law came upon him in its true power, his sin was made known to him, and he was "put to death" by it, or his condemnation unto death was revealed to him. This was his past experience.

But what role can the Law play in his sanctification? What is his present experience in trying to use the law to make himself holy? Surely this would have been a struggle and temptation for this former Pharisee. So he describes his experience. No matter how earnestly he desires it, whenever he relies on the law and his effort to make himself holy, he fails. Some other power is needed.

Thus, the power of the Holy Spirit and its role in sanctification, which is described at length in Chapter 8.

NavNight Talk-- On the Beatitudes

2011-02-16T18:52:00.000-08:00

Text: Matthew v.1-10

Define two phrases:

"Blessed"--In general, to be blessed is to be in a happy and good condition because of some circumstance over which one had no control. A man with a good job and a happy marriage is called blessed. When Jesus uses the word, the good condition he has in mind is deeper than a mere worldly happiness. To be blessed by God is to be blessed to the highest degree. We have eternal blessedness in mind here.

"kingdom of heaven"--A phrase used throughout Matthew to signify the church, or the people of God. It is an eschatalogical phrase which has the end in mind--the full flowering of the kingdom of heaven occurs only at the end of all things, but we possess it now by faith through Christ. It is to belong to him, to be a part of his body, to be a part of his people.

Finally, note that these describe correlation, not strict cause and effect. For example, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." To be shown mercy and to be merciful are correlated, but a strict cause and effect relationship is not implied; it is not because one is merciful that one is shown mercy.

1) Poor in Spirit

This is a poverty, or dangerous lack, with regard to spiritual things. A man poor in spirit has a deep spiritual need, as a man poor in money has a deep economic need. This spiritual poverty is the effect of sin. Sin deprives us of spiritual well-being and leaves us lacking.

Why is such a man blessed? Imagine two men with the identical deadly disease. Both men will shortly perish from this disease, unless it is identified and treated. In one man, there are no symptoms, but in the other, he suffers from constant aches, fevers, and terrible pains. This man, though he suffers and is poor in health, is blessed. The metaphor should be clear.

This is about self-assessment. To know your spiritual poverty is good.

2) Mourn

We mourn because of loss. Sin has brought into the world a three-part emnity (man vs creation, man vs man, man vs God) which has caused great devastation and loss. The present is filled with pain and the future is far worse. To see this truly is to mourn. One can be ignorant of these truths, and consider himself happy in this dying world.

Therefore, the man who sees his sin and its effects mourns. Because he mourns, he is blessed. His self-assessment continues in truth.

3) Meek

To be meek is to be modest, to submit to one's station in life, to not aspire beyond what is proper because of one's true condition. Meekness is illustrated in the story of the Pharisee and the taxpayer praying in the temple. The Pharisees proud prayer claims favor from God because of his holiness and exalted position in life. The taxpayer falls on his knees before God and begs for mercy. Which do you think receives favor from God?

Our meekness is where a true self-assessment brings us. We cannot ask anything of God.

4) Hunger and Thirst for Righteousness

Righteousness is the state and condition of being right or just before God. To have righteousness is to be restored to relationship with God, to be able to stand before him again as we once did in the garden. What makes him hungry for righteousness? His lack. We hunger for food because we lack food.

This touches on the desires caused by our self-assessment. Though meek, we eagerly hunger to be set right with God, to be restored to him.

Conclusion from 1-4:

Christ is describing the process by which we receive the Good News.

1-2 --Our condition through sin. We are poor in spirit and mourn at the things lost.
3-4 --Our posture before God. Our poverty of spirit makes us meek and our mourning causes us to hunger for restoration to him.

All this is summed up by the story in Mark 1 of the man with leprosy. It says that he comes to Jesus, kneels before him and says: "Lord, if you are willing you can make me clean." His leprosy reveals to him the terrible physical condition he is in, and he mourns at the wholeness and happiness in life that has been robbed of him by his disease. So he comes and kneels before Jesus, in meekness and humility. Yet he hungers to be restored; this is his hope and his request.

-------------------

5) the merciful

To be merciful is to overlook an offense. Mercy in men is always a result or an effect of ourselves having received mercy. Thus John, "we loved because he first loved us." Jesus emphasizes this in the story of the ungrateful servant.

A clear transition point comes once the man hungry and thirsty for righteousness is filled. Now we are dealing with effects of being filled. The first is a universal love for men expressed as mercy, overlooking all offenses and wrongs.

6) Pure in Heart

The heart in the Bible is the seat of the desires and emotions. It is stained and defiled by sin, setting its desires and emotions fatally awry. The reason a man can do no good thing is that the seat of all acting, the center of our desires, is unclean. Jesus says that a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.

Again, we have an effect of the gospel, the promised "new heart" which was promised to us in Ezekiel. The heart is pure, so the desires are purified. From this new heart flows the "good fruit" of righteous acting.

7) Peacemakers

To make peace is to remove the cause of emnity. It is to reconcile man with man or man with God. Christ has no temporary and worldly peace in mind here, but rather the true and lasting peace that comes when a man is reconciled to God through the gospel, and through that reconciliation, to all men. To participate in this reconciliation is to act as his hand, his feet in the world. It is to be a son of God.

8) Persecuted because of righteousness

The source of persecution is our righteousness; our claim of reconciliation with God and the righteous acts that flow from it. This the world hates and opposes.

Summary of the 5-8:

Christ is describing the effect of the Good News

5-6 --Our condition through the gospel
7-8 --Our posture to the world. Because we are merciful, we desire to make peace between God and man. Because we are pure in heart, we will be persecuted.

These four things (mercy, purity of heart, peacemaking, persecution) have marked the church in every age.

Conclusions:

1. Christ is very concerned about the humility of his followers. There humble self-assessment alone can bring them to the gospel.

2. Christ is very concerned about the transformation caused by the gospel.

3. What is missing from his teaching here? The center of it, the transition from 4 to 5. In the middle comes the gospel, the death and resurrection of Christ. In his death our poverty of spirit is solved through the forgiveness of sin, and in his resurrection we have new life.

Calvin, on the three parts of Christian Liberty

2011-02-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

What is the nature of the freedom we have in Christ? Calvin distinguishes three parts (my paraphrase):

1. The consciences of believers must rise above the law, and think no more of obtaining justification by it.

2. Being freed from the yoke of the Law, the conscience freely and voluntarily obeys the will of God.

3. Finally, we are not bound by any indifferent (morally neutral) external thing, but are at liberty to either use them or omit them.

Why I Am Generally Not Excited About 24 Hour Prayer Movements

2011-02-02T00:25:00.000-08:00

Disclaimers:

1. Prayer is good. Always.

2. I am always excited when people are excited about gospel prayer, whatever the context.

3. I don't want to douse the flame of anyone's zeal, but merely give insight into the best direction for it.

-----------------------------

Anyone who works in campus ministry is probably familiar with 24 hour prayer movements. The current movement started in 1999 in England and has spread to many different locations. At University of Arizona and Arizona State University there were forty day 24-7 prayer movements during the time I was in school. I have heard of them coming to many different schools. I love the heart for prayer and the desire to cry out to God that is evinced in the zealous people behind these movements. Usually they are trying to spur larger movements of the Spirit in the places they are moving.

So...why am I generally not excited about them?

1. Prayer is treated as an extraordinary act rather than an ordinary act.

Prayer is a discipline, a habit, a part of a well-ordered life. Prayer should fit into the ordinary pathways of life. Prayer should be developed so that it can be continued in long-term. 24-7 prayer localizes prayer in a particular place, at a particular time. Prayer becomes part of an extraordinary movement.

2. Prayer is treated as an act that can be programmed rather than a gift of the Holy Spirit that must be created in us by his power.

If we pray, it is by the power of the Holy Spirit. A prayer movement must be done by faith, not by filling slots.

3. Prayer becomes a gimmick, or its true purpose is missed.

Is God pleased with our prayers because we have managed to put a person at a place praying 24-7? What is the nature of prayer? Where do we see in Scripture that God is more pleased by having constant prayer in a place? The fact of 24-7 prayer (of dubious or non-existent in itself) overwhelms prayer, so that man's work becomes central.

4. Training in perseverance and faith in prayer is missed.

When we are leading others into prayer, we want to train them in such a way that fifty years from now they are still committed to prayer. How does teaching them to participate in 24-7 prayer movements help in this? How does teaching them to start 24-7 prayer movements help in this?

------------------------------

Prayer must be spontaneous, God-centered, according to his Word, sustainable over a lifetime, and empowered by the Holy Spirit.

A better way to start a prayer movement:

Pray yourself. Invite another person to pray with you. Teach him how to pray. Pray earnestly that God would give him a love for prayer and heart to continue in it. Train him to help another person develop a heart for prayer. Repeat.

It is not very glamorous. It is also much harder. But God powers it, not man. God is at the center of it, not man. God receives the glory for it, not man.

The Bride says "Come"

2011-01-30T12:36:00.000-08:00

If you cannot say with all your heart, "Come, Lord Jesus," can you consider yourself the bride?

If you have not prepared yourself for his return, like the five wise virgins, can you really say "come?"

Keep yourself ready. He is coming soon. Yes, Lord Jesus, come.

NavNight Talk--[25.1.2011]

2011-01-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

(Note: some elements borrowed from a talk on the same subject by Mike Jordahl

Text: Matthew ix.35-38

35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

Part I--The Nature of Jesus' Ministry

--Broadly to many people

What characteristics does this broad ministry have? Jesus does four things.

1. "Jesus went"

Where the people were, Jesus went. This shows the initiating love of God. He loved first, and goes to sinners. This is seen most clearly in the act of incarnation.

2. "Jesus taught"

Light in a dark place, revealing things previously not known, things that could not be known. This is Jesus in his office of prophet, revealing the mind of God unto salvation. The things of God cannot be known unless revealed by God.

3. "Jesus preached"

Teaching reaches the arena of the mind, preaching the arena of the will. Jesus taught, but the message of the kingdom was a call. It required action. Jesus preached "Come to me!"

4. "Jesus healed"

Here Jesus represents the result of his preaching. All those that he healed of physical sickness still died. He was showing to us a picture of true healing. Disease in the body is like sin to the soul. We cannot cure it, but in coming to Christ, we are healed.

Summary: Here is the ministry of Christ. He enters someone's life, reveals to them truth, calls them to come to him in response to this truth, and then heals them when they come. Our ministry should also reflect this.

--Deeply to a few

The entire time Jesus is doing all these things, he takes with him a small group of men. Where he goes, they go. What he teaches and preaches, they hear. When he heals, they see. He processes this ministry with them, explaining it to them, and gradually increasing their participation in it.

His goal in all this? To reproduce himself. He is laying the roots of a ministry that will go out to all the earth.

Part II--The Problem Jesus Sees

Jesus is God. What he sees is the true nature of things, and so we must strive to align our vision with his. When you look at people, no matter what is going on outside, see them as Jesus does.

Problem 1-- Harassed, helpless, shepherdless sheep

This is the true condition of the people.

Sheep have a need for food, water, protection, etc. People also operate from a sense of need. Men without God are sheep with no shepherd, seeking the fulfillment of their needs in things that will only lead to death.

Problem 2--Ripe but unpicked fruit

This is the true potential of the people.

A harvest that is unpicked is a good thing for only a short season. If no one harvests it, it is spoiled. There have been many famines in which the problem is not a lack of food, but rather a dearth of manpower and logistics to transport the food where it is needed. The people are ready to be picked. What is lacking is not a readiness, but a willingness of men and women to labor.

Part III--The Solution Jesus Presents

The solutions Jesus presents is simple. Workers. These are ordinary farmhands, unspectacular people who are willing to get their hands dirty in the field.

Note also what Jesus does not say. He does not say "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Therefore, rent a large stadium, hire a gifted evangelist, invite many thousands of people, rent an awesome worship band...etc." The work of Jesus is not for the supremely gifted alone. In fact, Jesus goes out of his way to state the opposite. Only a few times in his ministry, and even less in the lives of the apostles, do those who labor address crowds larger than several dozen. And the people Jesus picked to surround him were undistinguished: fisherman, zealots, tax collectors, etc.

All the work that Jesus does in his ministry can be done by these ordinary workers. They too must go into the lives of others, teach them through the Word and call them to respond, then watch in awe as the power of God heals them. This is our work. It is simple and doable. It requires not great gifts, but a willing heart.

Know this. When you see all the sorrow in the world, all the billions that do not know Christ, remember that the solution that Jesus presents is ordinary people like you and me.

Part IV--Conclusions

Now we see why Jesus ministered the way he did. In ministering broadly to many, he was shepherding the helpless sheep and beginning to reap the harvest. In ministering deeply to a few, he was expanding the pool of workers, multiplying his own efforts so that the harvest could expand, even unto the end of the earth.

Application:

1. Is Christ at work in your life in these four areas?

2. Let us pray for workers. Let us be workers.

(Note: This is like the most Navigator-y sermon ever)

Prayer and Fasting

2011-01-27T15:33:00.001-08:00

Now is the time to pray and fast for the Arab world.

Who knows what God can do?

Accountability

2011-01-07T18:12:00.000-08:00

On January 1st, 2011, I fully intend to do the following:

Tell you how many hours I prayed.

Tell you how many miles I ran.

Give you a full account of the year's memorization.

Give a full list of the books I have read.

Then you can either laugh at my foolish ambition, or give glory to God for the grace evidenced in the attainment of these things. I am weak, he is strong.

Why do these things?

1. Prayer is communication with God. As such it should be the most treasured gift we possess. Communication with him who alone is our source of all happiness, peace, and hope! I will pray not because I have some special gift of prayer, but because this is my privilege, and unless I through the power of the Spirit attack the weakness of my flesh, I will not pray. Even as I write this, it is partially to put off praying!

2. Running doesn't have much of a deep and profound basis. I just want to be healthy and this is the simplest way. I enjoy it, and I can review verses during it.

3. These goals help me to use my time well. I have been captured lately by a desire to use my time to its fullest. I read a sermon by Jonathan Edwards in which he talks about treasuring and using our time in the model of the parable of the talents. I rest in my prayers. This is rest time, is it not? Is it not restful to pray and enjoy the Scriptures?

4. I love reading. That isn't so much a goal as an invitation!

My 2011 Goals

2010-12-31T19:07:00.001-08:00

1. Run 1000 miles
2. Pray 1000 hours
3. Memorize Luke, Acts, Mark
4. Read 70 books

The Top Eight Greatest Songs of All Time (personal opinion)

2010-12-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

8. The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

7. Twist N Shout The Beatles

6. Family Tree TV on the Radio

5. Last Night The Strokes

4. Heartbeats The Knife

3. Two Doves Dirty Projectors

2. My Girls Animal Collective

1. The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Sufjan Stevens

My Favorite Books of the Year

2010-12-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

Unlike last year, I did not track all the books I read in 2010. I am not sure why. I intend to in 2011. So check back in one year to be horrified at how many science fiction books I read while pretending to read only history and theology and literature.

My best books of the year, in arbitrary categories that I just invented:

1. Best Science Fiction

The Algebraist by Iain M. Banks

Who would like it?

People who like science fiction, people who think the cloud layers of gas giants are fascinating, fans of space operas, my sister Jane probably.

2. Best New Fiction

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen

Who would like it?

Probably less than 1% of people who watch Oprah, pastors of hipster churches looking to make ultra-hip sermon examples, lovers of novels of Dickensian scope sans the absurd plot twists, lovers of well-written fiction in general, my sister Jane.

3. Best Collected Essays

Honoring the Written Word of God: Collected Shorter Writings by J.I. Packer

Who would like it?

Fans of J.I. Packer, lovers of God's word, people needing to give seminars on the trustworthiness of Scripture, few people.

4. Worst Science Fiction

The Third Lynx by Timothy Zahn

Who would like it?

Lovers of terrible plotting, clunky dialogue, ridiculous premises, and unmemorable characters; masochists.

The Fruits of True Repentance

2010-12-16T17:13:00.000-08:00

Taken from II Corinthians vii.11:

The fruits of godly sorrow ("see what this godly sorrow has produced in you"), with Calvin's translation in parentheses.

1. Earnestness (carefulness)--

True repentance gives the sinner an earnestness to admit all and confess all. He leaves nothing hidden in his heart.

2. Eagerness to clear yourselves (excuse)--

Not to provide an excuse for sin, of course, but an eagerness to procure pardon, to lay hands on forgiveness. The repentant sinner seeks pardon with all his heart.

3. Indignation (indignation)--

How could I have so sinned against him who is my all, who has given me all, and who has spared nothing for me? How dare I rebel against the one who has shown me such patient love and tenderness?

4. Alarm (fear)--

Not a servile fear, nor a desperate alarm, but a new knowledge of the severity of God against sin that causes us to post anew watchmen over our hearts. This is the man once injured, who is loath to go again near the person who did him harm.

5. Longing (desire)--

I desire to please God again, as a son who is surprised at his father's mercy desires to show his father the love he returns to him.

6. Concern (zeal)--

A total commitment, a hatred of all half-hearted measures, the repentant sinner forswears them. He will spare nothing to fight the sin that laid him low. He burns for the honor of God to be shown in him.

7. Readiness to see justice done (revenge)--

A holy and joyous strictness that is rational, wise. What were the pathways of my previous sin? What hindered me? I shall flee from them and hate them.

Blog Recommendation

2010-12-02T18:01:00.000-08:00

Do you like Christ?

Do you like being healthy?

Do you like eating healthy?

Some friends of mine, Alex and Sarah Costa recently started a new blog that combines their passion for healthy living and Christ. It has great insights on exercise, food, and lifestyle choices, all from a Christ-centered perspective.

Also, Alex does this daily "Around the Web" thing that is always interesting.

www.somaticos.com

Enjoy!

An Annual Tradition

2010-11-16T19:50:00.000-08:00

Devotees of my blog know that it was started ~~to document and refute the various heretical ideas in many popular Christian books~~ in order to inform my family of the things I wanted for Christmas. Since then, the annual clamor from my fans for a return of their favorite column has been impossible to ignore. So now, with the temperature once again falling towards the mid-60s, I present to you a tradition older than most of my friends' marriages: Steven Crawford's Christmas List.

(All items are hyperlinked for easy online purchasing!)

1. Category: Unrealistic

A. A marimba
B. 41-book Puritan Writings collection
C. Complete Works of Richard Baxter (see if you can find it anywhere!)

2. Category: Clothing, etc

A. Vibram FiveFingers Crazy Running Shoes (size: 39)
B. OXT Airflyte Running Pants (size: S)
C. REI Adventures Shorts
D. Outdoors shoes (currently getting some recommendations on this)
E. In Order to Fit In

3. Books

A. Some Jonathan Edwards
B. John Bunyan
C. Ecclesiology
D. Subscription to National Review, The National Interest, The Atlantic
E. Border's or Barnes and Noble gift card would be loved of course

4. Misc.

A. A two-person tent from REI
B. Masterpiece Mystery

Top Five Most Cringe-inducing Verses from the Message Translation of the Psalms

2010-11-09T21:22:00.000-08:00

1. Psalm 1:1

How well God must like you— you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road, you don't go to Smart-Mouth College

2. Psalm 84:12

He doesn't scrimp with his traveling companions.
It's smooth sailing all the way with God-of-the-Angel-Armies.

3. Psalm 27:1

Light, space, zest— that's God!
So, with him on my side I'm fearless,
afraid of no one and nothing.

4. Psalm 19:2

Madame Day holds classes every morning,
Professor Night lectures each evening

5. Psalm 29:4

God's thunder tympanic,
God's thunder symphonic.

Just saying

2010-11-02T23:53:00.000-07:00

Part of me doesn't even want to say this, but I think I should. If you are a Christian, or indeed a person with a coherent residual sense of morality, then there is no possible way any policy, however dearly loved and hoped for, can outweigh the fact that 4000 people are killed everyday in this country in a legal way.

If you voted for a pro-choice candidate, like it or not, you are complicit in this. Think, Christians, think! This is death, this is murder. You cannot rationalize it away, and it is unjust. Whatever economic injustice exists in our country, the real death of 4000 innocents each day cries out like the blood of Abel. Do not think that God does not hear it.

Whatever you do or do not like about the rest of their policies, remember that.

Meditations on Death

2010-10-27T23:14:00.000-07:00

My grandfather passed away this past weekend.

Here, as in all things, I want my mind and heart to be molded around the Scriptures, to feel what I feel and think what I think in response to what is true, what cannot be changed. To discipline all emotion, since what is in me is disordered, always.

This is not to feel less, but to repent where repentance is necessary.

So what must I know, O Lord of all things? For beneath your feet lie all your enemies.

The perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable.

He perished. His body failed, overcome by the corruption, fighting, fighting, but overcome. He had in him his own destruction, a body which was meant to die, in one way or another.

External, physical, perishable, strength until the end as any who shook his hand knew. But this strength, unwilling but made weak, was taken.

Him? Who was he?

A man. He knew God.

And just as we have borne the likeness of the earthly man, so shall we bear the likeness of the man from heaven.

O how the flaws in every man shall be taken when the perishable is clothed anew with the imperishable! Yet now, he echoes still, more so than most men but much less than some. He had a job he loved, a work within which he excelled, admired to a degree that would seem satisfying but in the insatiableness of every heart was not.

He did eternal things. There is something here forever through him, beauty on earth that cannot be taken, a family sanctified through his prayers, children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope

But listen! We shall see him again, made clean, made whole. He shall be like Christ when we see him, strength proper, his eye sharp for the beauties of the new earth and we shall hear of them from him, contented. He will talk with the joy of a sanctified purpose. And we his family and all who know them will admire again what he was only in shadow here, since we too will be what we should be.

Sin, gone. Death took him so that it could return him. And we wait for this.

The last enemy to be destroyed is death

Fact

2010-10-27T22:40:00.000-07:00

Present day evangelistic platitudes are mostly attempts to avoid actually doing it while making ourselves feel better.

Meanwhile people are dying.

Some recent ministry one-liners

2010-10-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

All of us are trying to prove to ourselves, using one method or another, the superiority of the ministry we are leading over all others.

The curse leveled upon work by God in Genesis 2 extends into the vocation we have in ministry; we may try to define ourselves there as readily as men do in any other vocation.

"If you harbor bitter envy or selfish ambition in your heart, do not boast about or deny the truth." So says James. Shouldn't we admit that we are often bitterly envious of other ministries, and that our ambitions for our ministries are often selfish?

The constant tendency of our heart towards self-justification is extremely dangerous in ministry. We must search our motives with the Scriptures!

What my sinful heart wants out of a discipleship relationship is often quite different from what the other person needs.

Are we really considering what will build up the individuals in our ministries? Can we honestly assess this and not simply justify existing practices?

Ministry deals with the deepest, most profound and important needs of people. Programs and systems will not address these! They just won't. Individual care is the only thing that will.

Do not criticize, to anyone, ever, the efforts of other ministries, unless they are clearly unBiblical. It is the easiest thing in the world to criticize, and it is almost never useful. Better to pray.

We must be constantly coming back to the pride that is in our hearts, all of us who minister, and searching for it, attacking it, killing it. Pride is there, in every decision we make.

We all pay lip service to prayer, but few of us make serious time for it.

Our heart in ministry must be authentic transformation. Know the quality of a ministry by the fruit it bears in the lives of individuals.

Hearing

2010-09-24T00:06:00.000-07:00

I hunger lately to create, to make something new.

The creation is cursed to frustration, and so what man can do must be temporary, must carry within it decay.

Inevitable decay, which all men must contend with in what they do, even those who labor for the Lord must know that what they work at will not satisfy them, cannot satisfy them.

These are old lessons which must be heard again.

Hear them, hear them, the power of the Word in them, that calling power.

Ministry Method Analysis

2010-09-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

Guiding principle: "We do not use deception, nor do we distort the Word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly, we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God." (II Corinthians 4:1)

Ministry Method: Advertise your event as a "campus-wide worship night." Invite all the campus ministries to participate in it. Then, once they are there, invite them all to join your group.

Verdict: This is deceptive. Worse, it is deceptive towards other believers. Actually, I am not sure if it is worse to deceive believers, but it certainly is a good way of causing disunity in the body.

This used to happen to some extent through a ministry at the University of Arizona. I experienced this tonight. I do not understand this. At all. Why? What kingdom work is being done?

The ministry in question probably spent a fortune on thousands of fliers. In the weeks leading up to the event there were fliers everywhere on campus! And they were glossy and attractive as well. But there are huge problems with the whole event.

1. Confusion of audience. These fliers were passed out indiscriminately to all people. But if someone came who wasn't a Christian, they would have immediately been weirded out by the eerie eyes-closed singing, and confused by a sermon filled with popular Christian jargon. Were they trying to attract nonbelievers? If so, why create a program so inaccessible? If not, then why spend thousands of dollars giving them fliers for it?

2. Uncertain aims. Although there is certain merit in an event which seeks to unite all Christian students in praise and worship, they nullified this by advertising for one specific ministry. Yet the event was not particular enough either to give the students any sense of why they should go to that specific ministry.

3. Awareness of unmet needs. There is no shortage of opportunities for Christian students to sing songs together and listen to messages. Many Christian students listen to podcasts of popular preachers all the time. All of the students there were a part of some fellowship, and many of them probably a part of several! This is not what the campus needs!

-----------------

I have been thinking a lot lately about formulating ministry from first principles. What does this mean? It means to minister in such a way as to reveal what you believe about God's character. It means to vigorously line up the manner of your ministry with what the Word says about it.

This is difficult because it is often not very attractive to my ego. What is attractive is having a large crowd of people come to my events, to have them listen carefully to my sermons while taking notes, and have them rave about my brilliant speaking and insightful analysis. It would be easy to try and create a situation in which I can do all these things (although even at the height of my natural oratorical giftings, I wouldn't excite a crowd like more naturally gifted speakers). I could, for example, come up with a clever hook for an event, reserve the right room, promote the heck out of it, etc. I may be able to convince a fair number of people to come.

Note that I am not implying that having big events and inviting lots of people to come to them are inherently bad ministry techniques. I am thinking more about myself as I start a new ministry.

For me to minister from first principles is for me to allow God to move as I share the Word with others. It is to trust that deep investment in a few is worthwhile. It is to trust that it is the Word that should attract people, and that when I share the Word with others, I do not need any other hook. It is to be content with a faithful ministry.

Ministry is people. It is for those I interact with. It is not for me. I have to be constantly reminding myself of this. My goal is to bless and cause growth in the lives of individuals, to be the means through which God causes REAL spiritual growth in the lives of precious individuals with faces and names and stories. Within this sphere may come the larger group speaking opportunities, but always, always it is me and Israel, me and Jon, me and Cavin, me and Alexi, me and Jaime, me and Ben, and there present with us the power of God, his Holy Spirit at work going among us as we read the word, as we pray, as I teach and encourage and correct.

This is my work, and the large group helps to solidify a community within which this work can happen. That is why I am persevering in it. But the heart, the purpose, the joy and struggle, all these must be real, felt, face to face, a man speaking to a man. This is ministry.

Blog Re-instated

2010-09-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

In an announcement which I'm sure will delight at least three of you, I am restarting my "Puritan Reader" blog (puritanreader.blogspot.com).

The reason is that I am re-reading John Owen's Commentary on Hebrews, and I thought it would be a good discipline to exhaustively update my notes online. Plus, Don recommended that I work on a project during this year...he said I might find myself with some extra time and I should try and use it well.

I am sure those of you who want to read this amazing work but don't have the time or inclination to plow through five volumes of anachronisms and confusing syntax will be happy to read my "easy-to-read" version.

Things I do not understand

2010-09-05T19:45:00.000-07:00

1. People who purchase expensive dogs from pet stores rather than rescue dogs for free from the pound.

2. Excessive time spent playing video games

3. Churches with American flags

4. Why anyone would ever take Glenn Beck seriously

5. Farmville

6. Buying expensive cars

7. Weird diets/obsession with organic food

8. Why people think alternative medicine is more effective than medicine based on extensive laboratory testing and vigorous regulatory screening

9. Why people don't try new things

This Article Makes Me Want to Punch Myself in the Face

2010-09-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

Here is the point when American Christianity disappeared into a sea of irrelevance.

This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. Fads! A fair of vanities, a foolish emptiness. Where is prayer? Where is holiness? Where is repentance?

There is nothing here but vanity, vanity, vanity. Relevance! Ridiculous. That we would want such a thing, when men are dying.

I am cannot believe that these things are happening, while the world is dying, that there is fog and smoke and fashion and caring and production, amidst a world that hates God! Fools! Do you think you will convert a man with anything less than the power of the Holy Spirit at work in his Word? Do you think that "proving" to him that you care about the same things he cares about will work? And how can you care about the same things as men who hate God?

How?

Noah, Preacher of Righteousness

2010-09-03T22:52:00.000-07:00

Word of God, speak...

The salvation of the Lord is near those who fear him

I heard Mike Hildebrand speak once on the topic of fear of the Lord. He asked the audience, what does it mean to fear the Lord? Then he answered his own question. It means "to fear the Lord." These are words right? Words we know the definition of. To fear the Lord is to fear the Lord. To be afraid of him. To be terrified of him.

The sight was so terrifying that Moses said, 'I am trembling with fear.'

Poor understanding of Scripture hinders us here, since we read John's epistle and note that there is "No fear in love." If that is so, how can the fear of the Lord be compatible with the God of love? Yet David himself connects them.

With you there is forgiveness, therefore you are feared

Error in the Scriptures? No. There is no error in the Scriptures. The error is in our understanding.

You have not come to the mountain that can be touched, and is burning with fire.

But first you must go to that mountain. First, you must tremble before it. First, you must hear the voice of God speak forth from it.

Blessed are those who mourn

Have you mourned at your sin? Have you come to God as a sick man to be healed? God's salvation is for those who fear him, his love is revealed in the midst of his justice, it is the revelation of his justice that brings us near to him, to the place where "righteousness and peace kiss." Fear God! For your fear will bring you to him. Then in your trembling you will meet your refuge, the one who never let a bruised reed break.

What of the campus? This is my field after all.

There I must be like Noah, a preacher of righteousness. For men will never come unless they are broken. Then, only then, may I offer as a physician of souls the psychic of life, the holy remedy. This is the need of the generation.

On Holy Water

2010-09-02T22:56:00.000-07:00

Some mystical incantation, some imaginary pseudo pagan nonsense, some exploitation of common trust. Water! Nothing more! Words spoken over it in a dead language, and it acquires some secret holiness to be imparted? Such foolishness! Such damnable (I do not employ that word improperly) presumption! Remember Aaron's sons before you imagine that you can impart grace through a made-up ceremony never mentioned in the Word of God!

The reason I mention this is I attended (by requirement) a "multi-faith blessing" for the new student center. The Roman Catholic priest said some vaguely universalistic prayer and then sprinkled holy water every which way. It was ridiculous.

Holy water! I can't believe that stuff exists in a religion which claims to submit to the true God.

Scenes from the university

2010-09-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

Notions of multiculturalism and the respect we have for other faiths result in a Hindu man at a formerly Methodist university giving speeches to gay Roman Catholic students.

If you wonder at how men can be content within the strictures of non-Western societies, remember that we have an ahistorical lack of integration. The notion of belonging within a community, the subsuming of the self in the flow, the patterns, the larger whole of a body. The thought of converting because your leader converted, or believing something because your leader believes it, that the positions of the community contain with them a special significance that require an inevitable response, all these are foreign to us.

Is this not known? There is literature on it.

Understand who you are and the place you live! The time in which you live! Place yourself. I am under these influences too. What I want, this fullness, every man his own god, yes we all want this, it is the freedom which science and prosperity purchased for us.

They say that when the new way was opened for us through the curtain (this, remember, his body) that also the curtain that hid the false gods was destroyed, their mystical power broken. This was the power at work in those integrated places.

The university celebrates freedom from these gods.

It is a type of freedom.

It is nothing.

It is what Psalmist once said, that one day the kings of the earth would take their stand, that the rulers of the nations would gather against the Lord and against his anointed one. "Let us throw off their chains!" It is rebellion. But now all men are kings, each submitting to himself alone. They are united only in their refusal to bow before the one who made all things.

Let us pray together, they say. Even some supposed followers of the true God join with them, lowering what they worship to another object to be collected under the reign of self. They pray to nothing, mantras. No one hears.

Together they celebrate their imaginary religion, while outside the world is broken. Together they pray to their imaginary gods, while outside all defile themselves in ignorance.

James said, not many of you should be teachers. There is one who will judge.

Some links, with comments

2010-08-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

Here is an article on Ted Haggard's new church in Colorado Springs. Key quote: "I over-repented." Absurd, sad, dangerous.

I also draw attention to his "proud" cussing. This is one of my least favorite things, the Christians who proudly cuss. It is really obnoxious.

Here is an interview about a band called Mosaic. I didn't read it beyond the assertion early on that the band is a Mosaic because of the different backgrounds of the six members. After checking the bands website, I found they were all white people, all from middle-class backgrounds, and mostly from the South. My favorite mosaics are monochrome! They should change their name to "The Bathroom Floor."

Thankfulness

2010-08-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

Through Jesus let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise, the fruit of lips that confess his name.

Thankfulness is independent of circumstances, because it is dependent on an already finished work.

Distant

2010-08-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

It is just a day like any other, but I am aware, suddenly, of the unveiling work, known by the grayness of all I see. No life, no savor, no sweetness. Taste and see, the Lord says, and I remember the taste of him, but it is a memory today.

Pray, says my heart, return to him and plead for his presence, as David does. But I am slow. Other things provide a quick and easy imitation of nearness, though they fade fast and leave my mind unsettled, unable to find the rest in him it desires.

Life seems too long today, a vast expanse to be traversed, full of its own joys perhaps, but lonely, a scattered distance. When can I see him?

I know the age I live in. I know this is the great gathering, and we tarry here until it is complete. Hence my labor. But some days I tarry with no greater end, nothing lived or experienced, the world not with me, as Denise Levertov would say. It is half life, the worst of both.

Edwards would say it is a failure to improve the time, a squandering of the ten given me, and he is surely right. But grace, O God.

It is a day. Let me live, Lord!

On the Cusp

2010-08-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

O Lord, here I am!

My son, so far I have brought you.

O Lord, I am ready, I am eager, I will work, I will labor.

My son, it is the work of my Spirit within you.

O Lord, what protects me, what guides me, what leads me?

My son, it is my Spirit alone.

O Lord, my plans, my efforts, my skills, what are they?

My son, ten talents with which you may please me.

O Lord, may I please you in this labor, in this work? How?

My son, in the manifestation of Christ in you, for he has transformed you and made you competent for it.

O Lord, may ask for more, may I seek what my heart desires but which seems presumptuous?

My son, do you limit your asking according to my power? If you do, than ask it.

O Lord, but is it not pride to ask for such increase, for such blessing?

My son, pride is mixed in all that you do. Repent of it, ask, and let me cleanse you.

O Lord, I fear your disfavor, your punishment, that you will see need to humble me before I may be used.

My son, I am pleased with you.

O Lord, will you really bless me? Dare I hope it?

My son, walk in the confidence of the peace of your justification, sealed in the Spirit. What comes, be content with. You are blessed.

O Lord, I fear that the sin that yet remains will hinder me, that my work will be spoiled, my labor fruitless.

My son, all work is cursed, even this holy work of ministry, cursed not in the ends it may produce, but in the satisfaction that may be had by it. If you seek an unspoiled work, you will be always disappointed. Seek faithfulness instead, trusting in what I will do with the talents you bring. You are my servant.

O Lord, me? Why?

My son, this is the mystery of my grace, to use such a man as you. Let me use whom I will use.

O Lord, but my sins, some so recent, still so present, yea, even today!

My son, all the men I ever used said the same, indeed you know your sin but weakly compared to some of them. But in order that I might display my mercy to the world, I use men like you, that all those you speak to will know that this mercy is for all that I call.

O Lord, then what remains?

Rest in me, take heart, and run toward the battle lines with all your strength.

Apply the Word Thoroughly

2010-08-11T19:49:00.000-07:00

Here is the passage:

From Psalm 36,

An oracle is in my heart concerning the sinfulness of the wicked:
There is no fear of God before his eyes
For in his own eyes he flatters himself
too much to detect or hate his sin.

These are the words of the Scripture, the God-breathed words which must control our thinking. And it is to give us a REAL insight that these words were spoken. What are we constrained to say about the unregenerate from this passage?

Doctrine:

1. The reprobate does not fear God, and whatever regard might be present in him toward God, it is not a true fear, but some self-directed vanity of mind.

2. This is shown by the delusional self-regard that the sinner has. He imagines himself to be in a good position because he does not think of himself as all that bad.

3. The reason he does this is because of a desire to think well of himself. He flatters himself, or lies with the purpose of artificially inflating the ego. The person lied to also does the lying. His motive is to assuage his conscience and make himself comfortable in his sin.

4. This flattery prevents him from even knowing his sin as he ought. Even when the actual deeds of sin are known and admitted, the underlying cause of the sin is not admitted. The deed is a mistake, even a terrible mistake, but understood as an aberration.

5. Not being able to see his sin, he is much less able to hate it. He might not like the effects and consequences, but a true hatred of sin as sin is impossible for him.

Application:

1. Understand the world in this way. No more wishful nonsense about "good" people existing in the world. There are none. There is much flattery and self-deception which may convince a man of his righteousness, but no true regard for God.

(I met a guy yesterday who told me he was 99% righteous. Suspiciously precise, I thought.)

2. What is therefore required of us on behalf of men in the world is not to convince them that God loves them, which after all is not too difficult when a man is already convinced that he is lovable, but to open there eyes to the wretchedness of their sin. To blow away the mist of flattery that has disguised the true condition of the sinner.

3. Do not trust the good motives men give to disguise their dark actions. Show charity, be gentle, but don't believe their flattery.

4. More significantly, you must know whether you flatter yourself, since the sinful nature is still at work in you. Know that your flesh longs to think well of itself, and you can be quite ingenious in devising covers for even the most flagrant of sins. Good and thorough self-analysis, coupled with a hearty distrust of one's motives, should be a daily practice for all men.

That is what it is to thoroughly apply the Word. It means, don't let any implications of the Word move past you. It should be noted that my doctrines and applications align well with cross-referencing.

This was just an example. Do this in your daily time in the Word.

The Conscience

2010-08-09T22:24:00.001-07:00

The secret of peace and obedience is attention to the conscience. Strengthen it with the Word, listen to it in the mornings and evenings. Allow it to convict you by the Law and comfort you with the Gospel.

It is God's voice in you. Trust so far as it aligns with Scripture.

Meditations on Song of Songs, i.1

2010-08-03T18:39:00.000-07:00

Let him…

If we believe that God is sovereign, if we believe he is good, if we believe he is wise, then we can trust in the language he employs. Therefore, God is male, though gender is not a part of God, at least in the limited sense we consider it. God is not a man, he has no maleness about him except as he represents the fullness of all things. Yet we, in our humility, must respect the words that God himself applies to himself, knowing that the language he uses is for us, a gift to us. Since we struggle to see through our sin-dimmed eyes, he made himself clear. So God is HE, HIM, HIS, though he is not a man.

Though he is not a man, yet he shows himself to us through the eyes of gender, that we by knowing him may understand ourselves. Some may filter him back to himself through ourselves, at least, our 21st century self, the self that sees this masculinity of God as his cultural captivity, as if we alone among all the long centuries of man are free enough to determine another time’s bondage. No, in this we reveal a double fault, error and pride. For his masculinity shaped and transcended culture, interposing into cultures that had strong feminine gods, no impossibility then. Let us instead have God choose his words, and form ourselves around them.

No, women, that God is masculine exalts the male no higher than the great gift he received when he was formed, that he should be created in the image of God. This gift he shares with the female, his equal, giving her all the dignity she should have, all the dignity she will ever need claim. For the Apostle said that in Christ, these ancient partners are one and the same, for through him they must all come.

So why, we ask, should God unveil himself to our eyes as masculine? I am tempted to say, with Job, that we should cover our mouths, being unworthy, but it is a gracious God we serve, whose light may be followed wherever it leads. The questions we ask are often anticipated, in the manner of the Apostle, and so God knew that this inquiring age would search his Word to see what made it HIS not HERs.

We inquire, for God can bear the asking, fearing not nor trembling at us. Though come with patience, care, and, like the child, a pleasing openness. O Lord, whose wisdom chose the words we use, why do you represent yourself to us as a man?

Christ, he says, the one who came, his love a pattern to all the church. Let him…

kiss me kisses of his mouth—

If ever man claimed this divine masculinity in the abusing of his own strength, here an irony awaits. For we, the church, both men and women, are kissed by him whom our soul loves! This rude and broken world may dirty these words, and we who share its influence (and at least those living in my captive American culture are guilty) may be ashamed to hear of love so boldly stated. We shudder (at least the men do, though women may feel an improper thrill) for we have made of sex a constant companion, in our thoughts, our words, our entertainments. To expand on this great debasing is not the scope of my intentions, so I will let it pass. But doesn’t it make you mourn that you cannot join with God in his own Word? O for the purity of an undefiled mind!

No, speak with me to your heart until these words are clean, for Christ will kiss his bride with all the tender kisses of his loving heart, and we the beloved must know how to cry out for it! For as God is not man, so these kisses are not that shadow we see in our own pattern. No, what is this stated desire, what does the bride seek, for we are his people and those who cannot speak with me kiss me with the kisses of your mouth know not the pathways of his love. Speak the words in their true meaning, not a secret Gnostic meaning, but that which they were written for!

Desire, now, with a pure desire, that which the heart enjoins.

Pierced Words

2010-07-14T07:11:00.000-07:00

O Lord, give me pierced words, like the bondservant's ear, serving one master, words searched and given over.

O Lord, let them be also unveiled, for though I search and pierce and enslave them, their power is not mine.

O Lord, let them be my sweat and my glory, crowned, jewels, ten more from the ten given.

O Lord, these words, you will not let them fall, you will not let them fall.

O Lord, who chose words, give me faith, or an awareness of the trembling energy that is in all that you have spoken.

O Lord, speak the new birth, still the birthpains in a new joy, for in words which shadow things, you set forth your power.

Chosen

2010-06-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

A few reflections on a word...

1. The love of the initiator is a choosing love. The husband chooses and bestows love. The reason that the bridegroom analogy is so present in the Word is that it succinctly conveys the nature of God's love for us. It is a choosing love that picks from among many. Those that are loved by God are chosen.

2. Chosen implies that others are not chosen. This is the nature of things, and any dissembling here is foolish. If you choose something, you pick it out distinctly from among many things. The other things are not chosen.

3. Thus the foolishness of Arminian thought here, and the empty notion that God's choice is based on foreknowledge, that he knew who would choose him and chose them before he could do it. This is to toy with language and alter the nature of a word in pursuit of a philosophical assumption. This Arminian choosing is no choice, but rather alters things so that our love becomes the choosing love, that we chose God from among other options, and that he knew this in advance. What choice is that? This is an empty passivity that we shun when we see it at work in a human relationships.

4. No, choice is choice, and if God said that he chose us in Christ before the creation of the world, we should acknowledge that he meant that, simply, and rejoice in the fact. It exalts us not a bit to be chosen, since it happened "while we were still sinners." But choosing exalts us, cleanses us, sets us before the throne of God in glory. Choosing is the power of God, and let us leave that power in his hands.

Thoughts on Self-Control

2010-06-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

You might be interested to know that I think the dominant problem my generation will face is a deep lack of self-control.

Titus ii.6

Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled

Obs.

1. Paul is instructing Titus on what to teach the Cretans, and he separates the teaching into four categories, distinguishing different things to be taught to different groups. The groups: Older men, older women, young women, young men. That pretty much covers everyone.

2. "Similarly"-- Paul notes that Titus should teach something similar to the young men as he does to the older men, and also the same thing that the older women are to teach the younger women. Self-control is mentioned three times with reference to four groups.

3. Note also that while longer lists of things to be taught are given for the other three categories, the only thing urged on young men is "to be self-controlled." Perhaps indicating that self-control is a particular problem for young men, or that it is an especially important quality for young men to possess. Desire, pride, anger, etc all burn stronger in young men. (Hence, I John ii.14: I write to you, young men, because you are strong)

4. "Encourage"-- That is, to urge on a person through positive and negative words. Titus is to speak strongly and specifically to the young men with the goal of urging them towards the practice of self-control.

5. From cross-reference (Gal. v), we know that godly self-control is an effect of the Spirit's work in a believer's life. It is a "fruit" of the Spirit's presence, the result of a transformed life. What Paul is encouraging is a Spirit-produced and holy control over the desires of the sinful flesh.

Interpretation

1. Holy self-control, an attribute which pleases God, is not at all present in the world, since it is a quality which is produced by the power of the indwelling Spirit. Whatever else the world possesses, it does not have power over itself.

2. Holy self-control is an inevitable fruit of the Holy Spirit's presence. If there is no holy self-control, there is no Spirit.

3. Holy self-control is produced by the Spirit through the use of means. The means in this case is the fullness of our effort. This is why Paul gives an instruction. Self-control is not mystically produced in us as we "let go and let God work." Rather, through the medium of our Word-guided and Spirit-empowered action, we walk into the fullness of godly self-control. Otherwise, why bother instructing someone?

4. Self-control should be taught, especially to the young, in a way that is practical.

A short note on holy vs. worldly self-control

In this, as in all things, our thinking must be guided by the Word.

--We know that true self-control is a fruit of the indwelling Spirit.
--We also know that externally people in the world may appear to have a great deal of self-control. Therefore, what they possess is not produced by the Holy Spirit but some other agency.
--Agents which produce self-control are often placed in the world by the grace of God in order to prevent a recurrence of what the world was like before the flood, since "that every inclination of the thoughts of man's heart was only evil all the time." Without any restraining force in place, the world would be awash in the men's lusts. We are given a taste of this when these forces do actually break down, as in war and other disasters.
--Common causes of worldly self-control: false religion, mutual pragmatism, strong law, fear of punishment, social pressure, family pressure, cultural taboos, etc. These help to restrain sinful impulses. Positive forces producing self-control include desire for success, power, comfort, cultural pressure, family pressure, sense of shame, guilt.
--Holy self-control always involves freedom. True self-control is about the freedom of the Spirit's slavery. All the causes of worldly self-control are slavery.
--Men in the world often seem to be capable of great efforts, before which we stand in awe at their discipline. Read about Kobe Bryant's work-out schedule, Napoleon's reading habits, etc. These, however, have no value towards the real progression of holiness. Holy self-control must be produced by the Spirit, according to the Word, towards the end of holiness.
--Some Christian men, therefore, may imagine that they have self-control, or may be lauded for their self-control, when in fact they possess simply the residue of worldly self-control from their culture, their home environment, etc. Natural drivenness may seem on the outside like self-control, though it is in fact quite different.

Application

1. Self-control, like all activities of the Church, is communal. Let us encourage one another toward it, watch out and guard one another. Actually, this is almost never done. Why?

2. Self-control is about having authority over your flesh. You do not have this authority in yourself, but in Christ you do. The motive for this authority over your flesh is the responsive love of obedience. In self-control, you express love to God through obedience, a conscious choosing. This does not require feeling, but in the exercise causes feeling.

3. Self-control rests in the conscious mind and happens through an exercise of the reason applied to the flesh. The Holy Spirit is the power, the pathways of obedience are the means. Read the Word, and choose obedience.

4. What has power over you? Nothing should. Is it food? Is it sex? Is it leisure? Is it TV? Is it the computer? Is it a person? Is it a relationship? Is it a job? Is it a need for success? Is it an ambition? Is it an emotion? Search yourself, think, apply the Word, and choose the pathways of obedience that are required of you.

5. Self-control is about habits, about discipline, the conscious turning from something desired. Like all of the Spiritual virtues it must be practiced, exercised, and grows stronger as you do.

Final thought, applicable especially to my generation

Here is the test of your self-control. How much have you prayed lately?

I want you to pray two hours a day.

Nay, I want you to pray four hours a day.

Yes, you. If we believe God's Word, we know there is nothing more precious than time in prayer, where we draw near to God and experience in faith the goodness of his presence. Nor is there anything as profitable to our soul and to the life of the Church than to pray. These two things being true, how much are you able to choose the best thing, to say no to the desires of your flesh? Whatever external motivators make you seem self-controlled, let this be your test. The man of prayer is the man who knows the pathways of self-control.

I hope this convicts you as much as it does me.

Talk from STP: Exposition of Hebrews 3:7-13

2010-06-10T14:05:00.000-07:00

Text:

7So, as the Holy Spirit says:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
8do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
during the time of testing in the desert,
9where your fathers tested and tried me
and for forty years saw what I did.
10That is why I was angry with that generation,
and I said, 'Their hearts are always going astray,
and they have not known my ways.'
11So I declared on oath in my anger,
'They shall never enter my rest.' "[a]

12See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. 13But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

First, Observation

Context: The Israelites and the way they saw God in the desert--first, the ten plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, the pillar of smoke and of fire, hearing God's terrible voice on the mountain, witnessing his retribution for the Golden Calf, fed first by quail, then day by day from heaven by bread, the plague among them, the fire, the snakes. No generation had such clear and undeniable sign of God's power, his reality, his terrible hatred of disobedience, the assuredness of his punishment of it.

Then, the testing. They were instructed to enter the land, but when they saw the inhabitants, they shrank back. Thus, their hearts were expose as sinful. They showed that they didn't believe that God could save them.

Note: These people had seen more of God than anyone else, but their hearts had not been changed. No miracle, no amazing sign can cause us to believe if our hearts are not change. An important thing to keep in mind when someone says, "If only God would give me a sign and show me that he is real."

Instruction: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts"

Q: How do we hear his voice?
A: He speaks in only one way today--through his Word. The message, the revelation is complete. However, there are two kinds of hearing (thus Jesus, he who has ears let him hear).

The first hearing is ordinary hearing, to read the Word as any other book, its contents coherently taken in and made sense of.

The second hearing is to read it as though God were speaking through it--to see that it is actually God who communicates to you in the Word. This is why we call the Word living. (Tozer--The Word of God once spoken continues to be spoken)

Q: How do we harden our hearts?
A: The same way the Israelites did--by shrinking back from obedience to the Word. This is a lack of faith.

Q: What can cause us to harden our hearts?
A: Fear, a desire for pleasure, worldly success. In the case of the Israelites it was fear and desire for pleasure.

Q: What is the consequence of an unbelieving heart?
A: "I was angry with them...their bodies fell in the desert"-- They never entered the Promised Land, a terrible punishment, for what it represents unto us, hell, final banishment from God's country.

Paul calls this a "sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the Living God." The heart that hears God and knows it to be God speaking, but in the trial, falls away.

The trial: Who will you obey? Yourself, or God?

Q: What does a sinful unbelieving heart look like?
A: You cannot see it until it is time to choose. All the people heard God's voice, all of them saw his glory. But most turned away, although a few (Joshua, Caleb) obeyed.
----
So, Paul says, all of you also have heard God's voice. How do you know whether you have a sinful unbelieving heart? Or what remedy can we use to make sure that we do not have hearts that will fail when tested?

"See to it that none of you has one"
--Look and examine each other's hearts. Watch out for this type of heart in others.
"Exhort one another daily"
--Exhortation involves both rebuke and affirmation. Exhortation involves encouraging someone towards a goal and correcting them when they lose sight of the goal.

Q: What does exhortation prevent?
A: It stops sin from hardening us. Secret sins, disobedience in small ways gradually harden the heart so that when the trial comes, we fail.

Q: How long should we do this?
A: Not until we feel confident in ourselves, not until we think the job is done, but "as long as it is called Today," in other words, until we die or Christ returns.

Second, Interpretation

(The drawing of doctrine out of our observations)

1. The only way to ensure that we have sincere faith, to ensure that we will make it to the end, is to allow other people to see our lives and speak into them.
--This is the only way God has commanded. The man who hides himself, the independent man WILL fall.
--We are not meant to make it on our own. We cannot.

2. Fellowship is making every part of ourselves, even the ugly and shameful parts, known to others. Not once, but constantly throughout our lives. Where this is not happening, THERE IS NOT TRUE FELLOWSHIP.

3. It is not enough just to share our lives. We must be willing to be rebuked and corrected.

4. The main thing we must be alert for in others' lives is sin as it deceives--though we are often unable to see deceit at work in our own hearts, we can see it in the lives of others.

Interlude: A Short Comment on the Deceitfulness of Sin

Deception is manipulation--it is convincing somebody to act in a certain way through the utilization of a LIE.

Deception is a lie which others act upon.

Example of this is what I warned against in the context of evangelism: We invite someone to speak to us by implying that our motive is no more than to get to know them, hear from them, etc. We disguise our motives to get someone to hear the gospel. This is deception and Paul forbids it. [Note for my blog readers: Boom. Do you ever try and evangelize through disguised motives? Stop it.]

Sin does the same thing. It offers to us several lies, e.g.
1. This will satisfy you and make you happy.
2. This is better/safer than what God could offer.
3. There will be no consequences for this.
But these are lies.

The process of deception works like this.
--Our satisfaction with God wanes, through inattention, distraction, etc.
--Our eye is captured by some sin. We consider it, think on it. It seems to offer life to us.
--Our hearts conspire to take it. We listen to and accept a rationalization that allows us to take it.
--Once the deed is committed, we at first feel guilty, but gradually our consciences grow "seared as with a hot iron" until our hearts are hard.
This is one way.

Broadly speaking, sin in its many forms is attractive to our sinful hearts, and we will deceive ourselves in order to participate in it. We are constantly rationalizing, convincing ourselves of our own virtue. We WANT to think well of ourselves.

Because sin is deceitful, we must allow others to see our hearts.

Because sin is deceitful, you must admit that you may be deceived. Remember, deceived people DO NOT KNOW THEY ARE DECEIVED.

Third, Application

1) To our mind

We must be suspicious of our hearts. The Word probes our hearts, and we must both analyze our own hearts in the light of the Word and allow others to do the same. This is what it means to be humble. If you are humble, you will assume sin is in your motives, you will question your desires carefully.

Adjust mentally what you expect from this life. Do you expect that following Jesus will be easy? Like the Israelites in the desert didn't, you should prepare your hearts for the trial, for the time when God will ask us to believe in him and follow despite what we see.

We must think of our Christian lives as communal, shared lives. We must prepare each others' hearts to follow Jesus. Do you think of yourself alone when you think of your Christian walk?

2) To the heart

Some questions to ask yourself
--Do I desire more to be rid of a particular sin, or to maintain a good standing in someone else's eyes?
--Does my heart go out to something God has forbidden in the Word?
--Do I tend to see right and wrong with reference to social acceptability, or to God's command?

(Some things are unthinkable because of culture. Abhoring and fleeing from such things does not show that the heart is converted unto God.)

3) To the will

If there is sin in your life that you are hiding, confess it to others. Resolve not to hide sin. Put into your life people who you can confess sin to.

Be committed, throughout your life, to pursuing vulnerability.

In the Christina community which you are a part of, ask others to apply the Word to your life, and be willing to accept the results. This will not be easy.

Final Warning: If you do not have someone examining your life, you are in danger. This is the way God has the designed the Church to grow.

On Brand New Chevy Impalas

2010-05-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

Today is my first full day in my new apartment. It is also my last full day in my new apartment until the end of July.

Yesterday, a couple of good buddies helped me move my stuff up from Long Beach in a Budget truck I rented for the day. Small insight into the inner workings of my mind: doing new things stress me out. This was the first time I'd ever rented or driven a moving truck, so I was nervous and stressed that I was going to get in an accident. The guy at Budget didn't make things any better by looking at me like I was insane for declining the extra insurance they try and sell you. I was pretty sure my insurance covered me in a moving truck and I told him so.

I packed the truck and drove it to my new place in the heart of LA with no incidents...until I was parking it out front. As I got out of the car, my buddies, who had followed me, asked me if I was aware that I had scraped the car behind me as I was parking. I hadn't even realized it, but when I looked at the car, there were some telltale scratches on the front right bumper and side panel. Mortified, I examined the car closely. It was a brand new gray Chevy Impala with a spoiler and $500 rims. Everything about the car screamed, "As soon as he sees this, my owner will shoot you with a gun he'll pull out of the waistband of his baggy jeans."

My reaction was rather subdued on the outside, but inside I was thinking "Insurance increases, possible non-coverage, gang member, drive-by, CRAP!" What I said was, "I'll leave a note on the windshield." Hopefully, we could unload the stuff before the guy noticed the scrape, and when he called, I would be a safe distance away.

Of course, about a minute later, who should appear from the apartment across the street but a rather rough-looking gentleman smoking a hand-rolled cigarette. Yes, that is the first thing that I noticed about him. He got into his car, and I knew I had to catch him before he drove away (although I won't deny it, the thought crossed my mind to stall in the house until he drove off).

I approached the car and said "What's up buddy." That's always a great lead-off line. Who is offended by being called buddy by a complete stranger, besides possibly seventy percent of the world? My new buddy wasn't phased by it, in fact, he looked at me with the casualness of long-acquaintance, as if he was expecting me to speak to him. This was a bit off-putting, but I plowed ahead.

"Hey, I don't know if you noticed, but I scraped your car a bit with my truck."

"No you didn't," was his surprising reply. I am not sure why he decided to deny my statement, but it did present me with a second opportunity to back out of the situation. Instead, I persevered.

"Yeah, actually I did, I kinda scraped some of your paint off, c'mon man, take a look."

He got out of the car and took a look. Here is where I was bracing myself. See, if this had happen in the Orange County suburbs, some spray-tanned soccer mom or pony-tailed, balding software engineer would be screaming at me. The fact that I had no way to get my insurance information would be a huge problem, and I would probably be paying around 1000 bucks to replace the entire front bumper and side panel. But at least I would still be alive, right? I waited in trepidation as he examined his beautiful car.

"Nah, that's nothing man. Don't worry about it."

?!

"Are you sure? I feel like I should pay for the damage to your car. You should at least get my insurance information." He was visibly reluctant, but after some pressure, put my number into his Boost mobile phone and promised to call after visiting the body shop (by the way, if you've ever wondered who the heck uses Boost mobile, there's your answer). I told him to call me so I had his number, and that I would call him when I got back to my old apartment to pass on my info.

He never called. Today, I saw the car, parked in the same spot, the paint still scraped.

For Ministers

2010-05-05T23:41:00.000-07:00

From John Owen:

What is required of these officers, especially the chiefest, or ministers?

That they be faithful in the ministry committed unto them; sedulous in dispensing the Word; watching for the good of the souls committed to them; going before them in an example of godliness and holiness of life.

My comments:

1. A good minister in all things seeks the good of those who are under his care, as a shepherd his flock. This pattern of leadership was well-represented unto us in David, who is a type for Christ in his kingly, administrating office. We too, as the bishops of Christ among his church, should act as shepherds to the sheep in that in all our labor we seek to advance their good. How seldom in the church does this seem to be in the forefront of a minister's objectives! Though all acknowledge it, few walk in it, and the bulk of ministerial labor seems to be towards the increase of all outward things: bodies in attendance, giving, buildings, exuberance, etc. How rare is the individual care for the soul, for the minister to remember that among his people are people! Souls in need of care are in his congregation, but he forgets that his concern first is to bring them to heaven!

2. The goal of the minister towards his sheep is their good, and if it is their good then it is their salvation. The minister labors first for the salvation of his congregation. And because he is a wise minister, he knows that "not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven," and that therefore the external profession of each individual is not the end of his labors. Now, he desires to see the fruit of the Spirit in their life, that is, an exercise in the fullness of the graces, by which I mean all of them in conjunction, not a few here and there. He desires that his people should be full of love for one another, genuine love from the heart. He desires that they should be full of godly joy in the midst of sorrow. He desires that the should be suffused with peace in their standing before God. He desires that they should be patient and uncomplaining in the midst of suffering. And anon.

3. He watches carefully over each one, laboring with all the power of Christ, praying for them earnestly day-by-day, not resting until he sees in them the true fruit of conversion! This he does towards each one under his care, it is the joy and glory of his service, and all that he desires. Were he to receive no glory for it here on earth, he rests content, for the praise he labors for is that voice of his Father speaking unto him, "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful with a few things, you will be entrusted with many!"

4. Are you faithful with the men under your care? Is your service towards them half-hearted? Have you warned them of the dangers of the world? Have you alerted them to the dangers of Satan and the flesh? Or do you send them out like lambs to the slaughter, unaware of what is to come?

5. There is no area where ministers are more remiss these days then in the lack of sedulity in the Word. Most of them preach a collection of their own ideas strung together by a few reference verses. Few take any care with the Scriptures, perhaps thinking that Paul's exhortation to Timothy to "correctly handle the Word of truth" was of no special force.

Men of God, do you center all your thinking and all your preaching in the Word? For shame that you should exalt your own ideas, as if your mind were not as weakened by sin as any other! Those who are quickest to critique the thinkings of others seem to give themselves a free pass. No, preach the Word, the Word alone! Abandon your precious thoughts, treasure them in your own time with God perhaps, and if when tested them come forth true, then present them to your church. But give the hungry the Word, let them feed on that, for Christ himself says that the Word gives life, and we, as his ministers, endanger our own soul if we hold back life from our flock!

O Men, if you would preach the Word! The power of it is the very power of God, and when worked through our prayers, it can shatter whatever comes. Preach the word to the lost, preach the word to the professing, preach the word to the striving, preach the word to the settled, preach the word to yourself! This is the power of God unto salvation! The word!

6. Do you shudder before the weight of responsibility? You will give an account one day of all that you did as a minister of God. Do you take this up lightly? Do you earnestly seek to cleanse all your writing from the stain of pride and sin?

Lord, as I go to USC, let me tremble, let me love the men you will entrust to me, let me set forth the Word in all things, and let me experience the power of your grace in all things! O all who read these words, pray for me in my ministry!

Ten Reasons to do Initiative Evangelism

2010-04-30T13:21:00.000-07:00

By initiative evangelism, I mean the type where you approach someone you do not know and communicate the content of the gospel to them. This is out of favor right now for many elaborate reasons that I won't discuss right now.

1. Initiative evangelism gives you a proficiency in communicating the gospel. As you practice sharing it, your facility in sharing it will increase.

2. Initiative evangelism preaches the gospel back to you. As you share it with others, you will be also reminding yourself.

3. Initiative evangelism is a discipline. It teaches you to speak the gospel no matter how you feel.

4. Initiative evangelism builds your faith. There is always risk involved in it.

5. Initiative evangelism builds your love. As you hear others and communicate the gospel to them, your heart will break for them.

6. Initiative evangelism increases the odds that you will communicate the gospel in the other pathways of your life. As you develop facility, confidence, and love, sharing the gospel will naturally spill out into other, "relational" contexts.

7. Initiative evangelism is refreshing. God comes forth in new intimacy as you risk with him, as you trust in him, and as you preach the marvelous truths of the gospel to others.

8. Initiative evangelism attacks worldliness and the desire for the approval of men.

9. Initiative evangelism produces a well-ordered life with God, increasing your prayer life, your love for the Scriptures, and your enjoyment of fellowship.

10. Initiative evangelism is commanded by God, exemplified in the lives of the apostles, the consistent action of the church in all generations, and ultimately the primary means through which God has always communicated truth. This last one is about five reasons wrapped into one.

Truth: If you are unwilling to do initiative evangelism regularly, you are unlikely to participate in evangelism in any context.

Exhortation: Start weekly habits of initiative evangelism.

Men of the Beach, Talk #4: A Vision for the Future

2010-04-26T11:24:00.001-07:00

Intro:

A) Purpose of Men of the Beach? Not to lay out every detail of every aspect of Biblical manhood, not to give a comprehensive view of what it means to be a man, but to lay a foundation in your life, a foundation that you can build on throughout your life.
B) Review the three weeks.
1. Biblical Foundation
2. Wounding, need for interdependence
3. Relationships with women
C) What will we do this week? I want to look to the future. I want to picture this whole room fifty years from now, for us to be able to sit down and reflect on the godly legacy that each one of us has left. I want to warn you and exhort you. The future will be hard. It is not easy to walk with God. It is a rare thing to see.
D) A few Scriptures haunt me here:

Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad the path that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

The parable of the sower

Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only him who does the will of him who sent me.

E) So, I want to lay forth a strong exhortation to us in the realm of Biblical manhood. Remember that I, like Paul, want to “beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

I. The Three Resolutions

What are these resolutions?

1. I will nurture my relationship with God all the days of my life.

A) What does this mean?

This means that the overriding passion in our life is to nurture and grow our intimacy with God, in every arena, but especially in the secret disciplines of prayer and time in the Word. This means that on our lifelong priority list, Relationship with God remains the number one thing. This means that every day from now until the day you die, you want to know God better than the day before. This means that no matter what responsibilities enter your life, you are careful to give to God the firstfruits of your time.

Our grounding Scripture is Luke 14:26-27: “If anyone does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.”

B) How to do this?

Develop deep and lasting habits now. After I became a started following Jesus, I decided that I would ask every old believer I met who was still walking with God what had helped them make it for the longterm. There were many different answers, but one that was consistent across the board was the careful setting aside of daily time to connect with Jesus. The time varied from 30 min-2 hours, but it was consistent. Build these into your life now, and protect them with everything you have.

Tell the story of last week.

C) The urgency

Do you think it is easy to make it all the way to the end? How is it then that the Scriptures abound with the stories of men who live in faithfulness for many years but falter at the end? Demas, Judas, Asa, Joash to name a few.

Remember the parable of the sower. Pursue God first not only now, but in every season of your life.

2. I will live and walk in an ordered, pleasing way.

A) Explain walk.
B) This is a restoration to the way we were created with reference to work. All of us will have laid out before us a course of work. For some, this will be ministry. For most, however, it will be a job of some sort. Engineer, doctor, teacher, businessmen perhaps.
C) Most of us also will have families. Wife, one or more children.
D) Some verses:

Titus 2:12—“[The grace of God] teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, an dto live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”
I Thessalonians 4:11—“Make it your ambition to live a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you.”
Colossians 3:23—“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.”
There are many others.

E) The point is that God is pleased in order, discipline, and the steadiness of regular habits. God wants you to live in a careful and ordered way. This is something to puzzle out and think over, especially you who are graduating. But housework, labor, excellence in your job, time spent with your children and wife, these are all intrinsically good things!
F) This is to take responsibility upon yourself, to shoulder it up and work for it. For each of us, the responsibilities we will be given are different.

3. I will act when action is called for.

A) What does this mean?

Passivity is our original problem. Remember Adam standing back and watching as his wife ate the fruit, frozen in indecision, fear, unbelief. To act in the midst of fear is to radically put on the characteristics of Christ. To act in fear is to act in faith.

To act when action is called for is to be bold.

Story of Jeff

B) How do we do this?

We must resolve to do so, both in ourselves and collectively. We must encourage one another and hold each other responsible. We must grow in faith. Great are the rewards for the man who acts! Highly honored are the courageous, those who in midst of fear act boldly and seize what God offers.

Story of Phineas

Truly resisting passivity is ALWAYS HARD. Truly entering into security will always scare you. Are you willing to be scared and still act?

II. The Distractions

Having spoken of our three resolutions, I will speak also of three deadly distractions, the tools that our enemies will use to take us off of the purity of our devotion to Christ.

1. Joash and worldliness (associated danger, hypocrisy)

Story: II Chronicles 24

After Jehoida dies, Joash listens to the men of his court, the officials that urge him to become more like the other nations. He is pliable under this pressure, and lacking the strong warning voice of his priest, he gives way to them. When the prevailing winds blow in one direction, Joash follows, to his folly and ultimate death at the hands of the very officials he had listened to.

We see that hypocrisy had long lay at the heart of Joash, even as for years under the tutelage and influence of Jehoida he had outwardly followed God. Yet it was hypocritical, and when a different influence entered, there was no deep heartwork to hold him back from falling.

In America, it is easy to be a hypocrite. As long as we are mostly comfortable in a Christian culture, within a faithful church, etc, it is easy to follow God. But what is the true condition of our heart? Is there hypocrisy in it? A concern for appearances and the approval of others? Or is there a real work that if tested would stand firm against all the temptations of worldly approval?

We are men. A man is a planted thing, a tree with roots that the storms cannot touch. Men of the world are like diseased trees, outwardly seeming beautiful and strong, but awaiting only the blowing of a wind to knock them down.

2. David and pleasure (associated danger, isolation)

Story: II Samuel 11-12

This is a familiar story, and if it isn’t, it should be, for every man. David is many ways a prototype for us of godly manhood. We see his deep faith, his courage and activity, the responsibility he takes for his kingdom, etc. But here we see him as a different type of model. This is in the comfort of his kingdom, after long years of military success. His army goes out to fight, but David stays behind. All the men are off in the field, fighting, and David lies in comfort on the roof of his palace, isolated, given over to pleasure, his work abandoned. He sees Bathsheeba, he desires her, and he takes her.

No, obviously the flowering of his sin is his adultery and the murder he performs to conceal it. But it begins in his abdicating of is work and pursuit of pleasure, comfort.

Do I need to expend much time elaborating this danger? There are endless examples, most quite obvious, of men, even men of great spiritual success, who have been taken out by the pursuit of pleasure and the gratification of the senses.

Now, to be a man does not mean to life an ascetic life, or a life free from the experience of the good things God has created for us. To enjoy food, sex, rest, all these are good and pleasing things which the Bible commends to us. But we MUST understand that there are great stumbling blocks in earthly pleasure which must be seen and watched out for. Generally, when we are living in isolation, we are unable to comprehend our danger.

3. Gideon and pride (associated danger, faithlessness)

Story: Judges 8

Gideon is used powerfully by God to free the people, acting in great boldness to oppose a vast army with a mere 300 men. But after this, when he is acclaimed by the people, he foolishly uses the tribute they give him to make himself an ostentatious ephod (a priestly garment). This golden ephod, which was not for non-Levites to wear, became a snare to Gideon and his family, who used it for idolatrous purposes.

We see Gideon’s self-flattery, his desire for acclamation, and his proudly placing himself into a role that rightly belonged only to the Levites. Although this does not prevent him from being used by God before and after, it harmed his family and his legacy.

We see that this stems from a history of weak faith. Observe the double process of testing that he asks from God before he will go forth. Also, his fear and weakness when asked to go out. Gideon, though not faithfulness, certainly seems to display a weak faith. This weak faith is what feeds his pride. Faith is the sight of God’s hand in all actions and trust in his word acting through all actions. A man of weak faith confronted with success leads inevitably to pride.

Pride is a great danger to all men, both in its positive and negative aspects. Explain positive and negative. It is generally pride that leads to both hypocrisy and isolation. Pride is at the heart of all hatred, pride prevents intimacy with God and others. Pride is always present in the heart, but it is success which reveals it. Thus as you move through life and experience degrees of success, your pride will make itself known. But if you attack it now, if you humble yourself now, beginning patterns and habits of self-humbling, you will be equipped well to deal with both success and failure.

III. Conclusion:

1. Remember, the power of the new life the power of Christ exercising himself in the indwelling Spirit in the context of deep fellowship.

2. Do you want to be a man? Then ask yourself these things:

A) Do I have a compelling picture of what a man is, as presented in the Bible?

You will need to constantly renew your understanding. Remember these keys though: We are designed to act, to take responsibility for our work, and to guard and take responsibility for women.

B) Do I see myself as a fallen man redeemed and brought into new life by Jesus?

This is both a general and specific understanding. We of course are generally sinful, but do I see how the perversion of my created MALE nature has made itself known in specific areas of my life?

C) Are others, who also have this compelling picture, examining my life?

All the days of your life. We need to work these things out together!

D) Am I willing to move in fear?

Do it scared. The actions that are required of us may be difficult, scary, hard, etc. Will you do them? Remember Jeff’s story.

Men of the Beach, Talk #3: Relationship with Women

2010-04-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

I. Amnon and Tamar

Amnon was David’s son, a royal son in the house of the king, one among many. Of his upbringing, knowledge of God, and interaction with his father, the Scripture is silent. In his first appearance, he is introduced as follows: “In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.” By this, the Scripture means that Absalom and Tamar shared the same mother, though all were the offspring of David. Tamar was Amnon’s half-sister.

We are concentrating more on the pattern of interaction here, but note that as her brother, it was not lawful for Amnon to desire Tamar. The Bible uses the phrase “fell in love,” which in general does not share the same touching significations of the modern use of the phrase. In NASB, it says simply that Amnon “loved her.” This is similar to Jacob’s desire for Rachel, and Samson’s for Delilah. It is what we might call an infatuated lust, like that of the foolish man enticed by the wanton woman in Proverbs. It is lovesickness, that preoccupation with another person which in itself is not a bad thing. But it is dangerous in its effects.

Listen to the words: “Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.”

The Bible is very straightforward about the heart and desires of man! Amnon wanted to possess her. He wanted her, and denied her, he became ill, physically ill.

Now then, chart the course of his actions:

“Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill.” –In this way, he manipulates Tamar into being alone with him.

“But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her hand and said, ‘Come to bed with me, my sister!’”

She tries to dissuade him, “But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.”

With that, there is a switch, “Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her.”

Observations:

1. Amnon became infatuated with Tamar. He saw her and desired her. This in itself is natural, normal, healthy even. It is the course of things, the way God has made men and women to be. When a man looks at a woman, he sees beauty and he is drawn to it.

2. However, these passions and desires are unregulated in the sinful heart, disordered, chaotic. What control we have over them is the product of upbringing, environment, and culture, easily broken.

3. Amnon, in being led by these desires, takes increasing steps to satisfy them. He wants to get her alone, he wants her to satisfy his desires, so he manipulates the situation to give him opportunity to enjoy her. But after doing this, she still remains unwilling. So he takes what he wants through his greater strength. He forces her to give him satisfaction. The blunt physical nature of this forcing is the culmination of his efforts, and in line with them. In other words, his rape is not an aberration, but the result of the method he chose to satisfy himself.

4. This, then, is the pattern that is set before us in this story. Man desires woman, not just the ordinary admiring, but a lustful, infatuated desire that controls and motivates him. He takes whatever action is necessary to have what he desires, with no ultimate regard for her desire. She is simply an object for him to satisfy himself with. As the barriers and restraints are stripped away, the act culminates in rape. After raping her, and finding his desires ultimately unsatisfied, he hates her.

Now, I am going to say something intense, perhaps even offensive to some. This pattern is the normal pattern of sin, this story meant to represent onto us the pathways of our heart. Can you apply this to yourself? Can you prevent yourself from standing aloof from Amnon, as if you and he did not share the same sinful nature?

What separates us from Amnon?

1. Culture, and the “thinkableness” of rape. The reason we tend to see this as a distant story is that the culture that most of us was brought up in (and I include in this not just the broader American culture, but also the family and church environments) distances us from the thought of rape. If I asked you, would you ever rape a girl? I am sure that almost all of you would answer “no” without hesitation. This, believe it or not, is to a very large degree a product of the lingering effect of the intense Christianization of Western society during the 16th-17th centuries.

2. Fear of the law. As a royal son, Amnon had little fear of the effects of his rape, provided he could do it privately. He is half-right. His father, when told about it, does nothing. But ultimately Absalom revenges his sister. For us, rape would most likely result in prison, social pariahhood, rejection by peers, etc. This, of course, is one of the primary reasons for the existence of the government…to constrain the natural impulses of sinful man through fear and punishment.

3. Finally, and most importantly, the Holy Spirit is at work in us, controlling and acting in opposition to our flesh.

Without the Holy Spirit, our restraints are fear and culture, both of which our sinful natures can and do overcome. Rape is far more common than we imagine. Statistics say that the majority (60%) of sexual assaults are not reported to police! In fact, there are many cultures where rape is common. Even in America there are subsections of the country in which rape is not stigmatized in any way. And date-rape and the pseudo-rape of pressurized sex, not to mention the intense pressure put upon women to sexually perform by the representations in media and pop culture, would show that in fact the heart of man is the heart of a rapist, whatever cultural restraints hold him back.

I understand that this is a hard thing to admit. But we must understand that the pattern that culminates in rape is our pattern, and because it have never culminated in rape in our lives is a sign of the mercy of God, his common grace expressed through government. The pattern comes through the perversion of our manhood, and thus belongs to all who possess this cursed flesh, not just the men we may vilify as rapists. I sometimes think the emotional manipulation and using of women that commonly occurs even in Christian circles should be called “emotional rape.” It catches somewhat of the seriousness of what is going on, in that we are acting towards women from an urge to satisfy our desires towards them.

However, I will not call it that, for a couple reasons:

1. Rape is a serious crime and sin, and I don’t want to demean it by associating it with something that is less weighty and less guilt-inducing.

2. Because it is common, I want us to be able to talk about it and admit it to each other with a degree of freedom that the word “rape” hinders through its emotional resonance.

Nonetheless, bear in mind that the using of women for our own gratification is in the pattern of Amnon, even when it does not result in physical rape.

Now then, let’s look at what the Bible has to say about women. We will turn back to Genesis 2.

Observations:

1. Woman is made second. This is significant.

2. Woman is made because man is alone, a fact which God is “not good.” Without going deeper here, I would say that this is because man alone is an inadequate image of God, failing to reflect the fullness of God on earth. At any rate, woman is made to complete them, so that together they might become one.

3. She is to be a “helper suitable for him.” This is a difficult phrase to translate, but it conveys someone who is to come alongside Adam, to be next to him in the work that is appointed for him. In this she is to be his “helper,” that which comes alongside him to complete and complement him in his work. Woman is created for man.

4. She is made from man. She is “the glory of man,” beautiful, desirable. When she is brought to man, he looks at her and says “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” He takes her upon himself, she is his, to guard and care for, as he would his own flesh.

5. What we have is the establishment of man in his relationship to woman. She is made for him, for his pleasure and delight. He, looking upon her, is filled with joy. She, in being looked at and delighted in, is filled with joy. He cares for her and protects her. She obeys him and assists him. These are differences in roles that God created so that the relationship of man and woman might be his image, for it is the relationship between the Father and the Son which is being represented. Thus, as the Father and Son are co-equal in value, but differing in roles, so man and woman are co-equal in value. The difference in their roles is built into them, it is created.

Now, sin and cursing for women:

1. She sins through her action, outside of Adam, outside his authority. By listening to the serpent and acting, she throws off the created purpose of God in the same way that Adam throws his off through passivity.

2. “She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” Here we see the subversion of roles made complete in disobedience. She gives to him, she leads and acts, he responds and obeys. Both are equal in their sin, their guilt, their subversion and rebellion.

3. The curse for woman reflects her disobedience. The word desire is used in only two other places, one of which is in the very next chapter, in which it is written that “sin is at your door. It desires to have you but you must master it.” This is going to sound like a weird thing, but it is a curse for woman to desire man. In fact, according to the pattern of creation, man desires woman, and she responds to that desire. Here, woman is cursed to desire man in a way of control. She wants to control him, to reverse the pattern of their relationship so that she controls it, she dominates him. But, God says, such efforts are always destined to be fruitless, ultimately empty, no matter what degree of external control she can muster, man will rule over her. In the same way that man cannot be free from his design, although his work is cursed, so woman cannot be free from her design, of which the primary part is her relating to her husband.

4. This is complex stuff, but we are not trying to correct the women in our life, or teach them about their own identity. It is enough to know that the basic pattern for woman is the same: as she was created, she sinned. And her created identity is cursed.

Now then, what needs to be done?

The restoration of our identity as men intimately involves the restoration of our relationships with women. With the fall, comes the beginning of hatred and enmity between the sexes, a hatred that has persisted to this day. Adam blames his wife.

We have to understand two things:

1. In entering our relationships with women, we have unresolved desires relating to women. These are issues that touch us as we relate to women, in the particular way that all of us relate to women.

Think of it this way, some of us are driven by our problems and issues related to women, such that we tend to seek out something from them. This is the “Barney Stinson” man, the man who has experienced hurt or rejection or something that makes him seek out the approval/love of women.

This is stronger or weaker in us according to our experiences. But this is the pattern that touches on every interaction we have with women! So whether this is a large, addictive pattern in us, or a subtle and small pattern, it is present! The pattern is this:

Being created to desire women, the desiring of women tends to bring us pleasure, the illusion of satisfaction and wholeness. As we seek after pleasure as a result of our desire to find completion and wholeness outside of good, we desire women. This takes the form of real relationships, both ones that on the outside look fine, ones that look problematic. It also takes the form of abstract, or imagined relationships. This is mental fantasy, and strongest in this day, pornography.

Finally, this pattern can be weakly sexualize or non-sexualized. The pleasure can take the form not of sexual pleasure, but the pleasure of being admired, respected, that component of a male-female relationship that is mocks the provider/helper created model. Thus, where no sexual misconduct is occurring, relationships can still acquire the pattern of Amnon…man acquiring from woman the satisfaction of his desires, the created desire to be complemented in women. Thus, even man in whom sexual desire is repressed (homosexual) or absent (eunuch, or rarely in others) seeks to bring fullness and satisfaction to himself through women.

We must first examine DEEPLY this pattern in our own life, seeing it in the women we interact with. I guarantee that it is present in all our lives. I find it constantly cropping up in my own life.

2. The solution is not to try and control every interaction with women, to establish a whole host of rules regarding them, but to first of all be fulfilled in Christ, finding satisfaction in him so that we do not need to run to woman IN ANY WAY to feel satisfied.

This, of course, is the solution of the New Creation, being reformed in Christ. But as we studied last week, from this new condition, this new creation, we must take of the old self and put off the old self. But only in the context of this full satisfaction can we bring healing into our relationships with women.

Application for us:

1. We need to re-enter the identity we have been made for. The distortion is using women for our pleasure and satisfaction. The created identity is our protection and caring for women. How can we do that in this ministry? How can we make the women feel protected and cared for?

2. The number way we can protect them is by guarding their hearts. This means what exactly? It means that we don’t create imitation relationships with them. It means that we act towards them with boldness and clarity. It means that we communicate with them and do not fall into relationship with them.

3. We have to value women as co-equal to us. With the fall, the chaos of the sinful world made men powerful and has long taught us that hierarchy is value, that primacy makes for increased worth. This is ungodly and false. We have to give our sisters the value they deserve, listening to them, valuing their thoughts.

4. We have to lead the ministries, families, etc. that we are a part of. There is nothing I like less than seeing a man being driven around by his wife. We will talk more about this next week.

5. We must flee from passivity in our relationships with women. We will talk more about passivity next week.

NavNight Talk: April 13th. 2010

2010-04-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

Notes from my talk

Title: Exposition of I Thess. iv.13-18

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18Therefore encourage each other with these words.

I. Division of the text

A) A Danger is Exposed

Vs. 13--Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.

--Early in the church, the return of Christ was thought of as imminent, so when people began to die, doubt entered.

Two ways of thinking:
1. "ignorant" --and thus filled with false hope, superstitious ideas, fear, etc.
2. "grieve...no hope" --A despairing grief, a grief that says the dead are gone forever, the view of death that the atheist must have.

False, foolish hope, or hopeless grief. Both are wrong and dangerous.

B) A Statement of Grounding Belief

Vs. 14--We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

This is what all our thoughts on the future and on the resurrection are founded upon. The resurrections is at the heart of it. "Jesus died and rose again"
--This has happened. It is a historical event. What the resurrection communicates is laid out in the following passage:

I Corinthians 15:20-23-- But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. 21For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. 22For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. 23But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him.

This idea of Christ as firstfruit from among the dead is echoed in Romans 8:29.

In each case we not that Christ's resurrection is the sign, that he is the firstborn, meaning that all that belong to him will experience the same thing-- his our head, in our baptism we are baptized into him, so that what happens to Christ also happens to us. Thus his obedience is ours, the merits of his death also, and finally, at the last day, his resurrection will also be ours. Those that have fallen asleep in him will also be raised with him.

Note that though we are said to "die with Christ," that we are called "new creations" in Christ, etc. we don't actually observe these changes in our physical flesh. When we are saved, there is no external change (see John 3). But the Word speaks to us the change, and by placing faith in it, the Holy Spirit seals us, preserving us for the great day still to come when these promised, spoken things will be reality. This gap between what is spoken to us and what we see is connected through faith. Hence my definition of faith, that principle that connects the spoken Word into our present experience. Faith is "being sure of what we hope for." And Christ's resurrection confirms to us that "in the right time" we also will be raised from the dead.

C) A recitation of facts

Vv. 15-17--According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

--Note how this speaks against the ignorance of the men of the earth. Here is a very specific description of what will happen. Do you have any false ideas from culture or whatever about what will happen? Destroy them. Here is fact.

D) An application

Vs. 18-- Therefore encourage each other with these words.

--------------------

II. Application

[First], Application to our MIND

1. We must get rid of silly, sentimental ideas we have about heaven.

In the Scriptures, heaven is considered the realm of the angels, in other words, non-physical beings. We also have a non-physical component, and perhaps in some sense, upon death we enter "heaven." Evidence for this includes Jesus's words on the cross to the thief and the parable of Lazarus and the rich man.

But even in this heaven, it is merely a waiting area, a place of rest while awaiting our real hope. We are not waiting to escape this earth, but for the New Earth that is promised, the renewal of all creation. We are physical beings, made as a part of creation, inseparable from it. Our hope is the new earth and the new creation.

2. Our hope for a new body and a new earth imply the HOPELESS CORRUPTION of this flesh and this world.

Our bodies are dying. Our world is dying. Your body, no matter how healthy it is (sometimes this is hard for young people like ourselves to conceive), will one day betray you. The earth is a dying place, awash with violence, death, hatred. Entropy is the law of the world.

3. We wait for a new body and a new earth. What is wrong with this one is the way it has been corrupted and weakened THROUGH SIN.

Our enemy, here as in all things, is sin. Salvation is primarily about escape from sin and death. The cross speaks forgiveness to us, here all our sin is dealt with, once and for all. The consequences of them are destroyed at the cross. But what the resurrection speaks to us is the final expulsion of sin from our bodies. For though we stand in Christ forgiven, we still are beset on all side by sin and Satan, still live in sin-weakened flesh that will eventually decay. This is what Paul means when he says that "we groan inwardly as we eagerly await our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." The cross alone is useless as long as we still face death. The resurrection communicates to us our final escape from sin and death-- His resurrection and the same hope of resurrection that it holds out to us is the great joy and hope of every soul made alive by Christ.

4. Now we understand somewhat our position, for we live in the time of the great gathering, when God is assembling his church from among all the nations, gathering up his people and putting them into Christ. When it is complete, then and only then, the trumpet will sound, and all the church of God will be raised from the dead, freed for all time from the effects of sin, our final victory! The earth will then be remade, heaven and earth will be joined, and we will live before the Lord for eternity.

This, then, is your thinking, your mind as you consider your future hope.

[Second], apply this to your heart

Heart: as it is the seat of desire and feeling

When you think about the return of Christ, what emotions do you experience?
1. A sense of dread, or hope that it is still a far way off?
2. Nothing?
3. A thrill, a hope, a stirring of desire?

Story:

When I first became a believer, I had little desire for Christ's return. Recognizing this as a problem, I began to pray daily that God would fill me with a hunger for him to return.

One day, several years later, I was on a hike with my cousin Todd in the mountains of Colorado. As we were walking along, we began to talk. Now, my cousin Todd is an intense man. At one point in the conversation, he turned to me and asked, "When do you think Christ is going to return?" Slightly taken aback, a mentioned something about the elect all coming into the fold, or something.

"Do you know what I think?" he said. "I think he will return when his bride is shuddering with desire for him to return.

Let us wait then, as a bride waits for her husband. How does a bride wait?

a) Filled with longing
b) Patiently
c) Chastely, or purely

If we are not waiting with our hearts filled with longing for our husband, something is wrong in the relationship. If the bride does not long for her bridegroom, there are a few explanations for it:

--She is not acquainted with him
--She is not confident of his love for her
--Her heart goes out to another

Question 1: Are you confident of the love of Christ for you? Do you fear anything from him?

--Perhaps you have some secret sin in your life, some secret thing that you both hate and love, some secret that you feel a need to get rid of before he returns. Well, he may come at any moment! Do not delay!

--Perhaps you are conscious of some deficiency in your performance, and feel you need to be more lovable, more righteous, more holy before Christ can return, that when he comes he will be disappointed in you. To this I reply, first, that you have no conception of the depth of your sin, if you think that you need to work to be in God's favor. Second, abandon such thoughts, repent, and know that Christ's death is sufficient to cleanse, for he is the one who "cleansed his bride through the washing with water through the word."

Question 2: Are you acquainted with Christ? Why would you be excited about the coming of someone who you do not know?

As your acquaintance with Crhist increases, your longing for his return will also increase. Know him! Spend time with him! Think on him often! Memorize Scripture that you can recall!

Question 3: Does your heart go out to someone else?

Unfaithful Gomer! In truth, all our hearts are adulterous, but God in Christ woos us back to himself, speaking love to us, calling us to himself. Is this present in your life? Or do you like the bulk of men expend your affections on the dead things of this world? When you think of the future, what do you look forward to? Success? Comfortable life? Family? Fun? Pleasure? Position?

Those things are empty, meaningless, low, worthless! You desire the fallen treasures of the dead world over the unconquerable pleasures of his presence! For shame! Repent man, of your sinful adulterous hearts!

[Third], application to the will

--By which I mean, your actions, the things that you do.

1. First, the application Paul himself gives: "Encourage each other"
--Speak of Christ, remind each other of our hope, consider him together, pray together, seek his return together. This is especially important in times of uncertainty, doubt, mourning.

2. Second, participation in activities that will hasten his return.

A) Prayer for the nations
B) Participation in evangelism

Both, in my experience, have sharpened my longing and desire for Christ's return and our resurrection from the dead.

3. Finally, keep a jealous watch over our hearts.

This is hard, and a lifelong process. Remember the parable of the sower, and the seed who started out full of life but was choked by the earthly desires. Nay, remember man that such things fade. Watch your heart, be jealous for it. God is jealous for it, he wants it for himself because it is his, it belongs to him.

Maintain and nurture your intimacy with Jesus all the days of your life.

Watch over each other's lives, be jealous for each other, all the days of your life.

Cultivate a hatred of worldly things.

Fix your eyes, your heart, and your whole life on the hope of the future resurrection, represented to us by Christ, and so in the viewing of him in his revealed glory we are ourselves transformed, until the day when this body will be like his.

Amen.

Samson, his hands placed on the pillars (revised)

2010-04-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

Judges 16:28-29

Then Samson prayed to the Lord, “O Sovereign Lord, remember me, O God, please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes.” Then Samson reached toward the two central pillars on which the temple stood.

An enemy is an enemy. Hatred is hatred.

All my life I have fought these men. Now they stand around me in triumph, their joy and celebration a mockery, against me and my God. I have endured much contempt from the arrogant, much ridicule from the proud. They are your enemies, O God, and mine.

Do I not hate those who hate you? I fought a lion once. It came upon suddenly, roaring in its strength and fury. It had crouched and waited, the lion under cover. Then, spying me, it leaped out to catch me, to drag me off. In myself I was no match for the effortless power present in that beast. Its eyes were death, hating, opposing, seeking my life. There was no room for mercy in that battle, only the forced submission of death, the ripping of life, trampling down and making one sleep the sleep of death. Battle means victory. It is necessary.

It would have had me, if it could. Those claws, those teeth, like spears and arrows, a rippling strength in its shoulders, jumping, attacking. Death came, an enemy. But I was seized too, overcome by an external power (the lion, strengthened in itself, I, strengthened within by another), this overshadowing of the Holy Spirit, what the prophets call it “coming upon me with power,” that which had elevated the tongues of the prophets in their praises, which had guided the hands of the craftsmen into the elegance of the tabernacle instruments, this power elevated me too, guided my hands too, and I took hold of the lion, and with those hands, I killed it. Strength met strength. One prevailed, that which must prevail, even the power of God himself.

It worked upon my natural gifting, the might of my frame, the war-trained skill of my arms, powerful but futile in themselves. But he armed me with strength for battle, his power mine, and thus the long pattern of my one-man army, a lifelong war upon these pagans, these oppressors of my people, these Philistines. They hate and hate and hate, and we, hating in return, fight.

What can be done with hatred? When two parties are opposed, their opposition only ends when one is dead. Safety is death. This is the way of things, no mediation, no peace like Abimelech and Isaac, no end, for we talk not of people here, but of God and gods. The claim we have is an isolating claim, to be one people, one body of men beneath one God inhabiting one land, and around us all others, unaccepted, far off, not belonging to this sacred body, this sacred people, we who possess law and worship and promise.

Yes, promise. What of this promise, long repeated, long claimed? Children of Abraham, we who walk in his footsteps, do we not claim his promise as our own, since we were in his body when he received it? “Through you all nations will be blessed.” The Philistines are a nation like any other, yet we hate them, we fight them, we must by the very decree of God destroy them. But we bless them too. This is mysterious.

What is blessing but an end to this killing? Not just the physical end, its exclusion by some mutual security, or shared suspicion, but the very nature of things that causes killing? What makes us enemies with these men? Why indeed did the Moabites attack us? Why did the Egyptians pursue us? Going back further, why did Joseph’s brothers hate him, until he purchased them back in shadow? Why did Esau threaten Jacob? Why did Ishmael persecute Isaac? Why did Cain slay Abel? His blood was the first blood, the blood that still calls out, the blood that still comes before me into my ears, crying out for vengeance, destruction, justice! Those that belong to God will always be hated.

This is my sword, and I look upon the people of the earth in opposition. When I swung the jawbone, I was the shepherd defending, I was the right hand of the Lord for sake of his people. All men stand opposed, and the line around one half of this opposition is the shelter of his wings. When he raised me up by his Spirit I was this power, his power, I was the Lord thundering from heaven, shaking the desert, twisting the oaks. I was his consuming fire, the burning coals which blazed forth from him, a scorching wind upon his enemies.

Still there is tension in these actions, appointed by God though they may be, and all Israel should consider these things in relation to the words of God, for all I did had as its reference point, its plumbline, the promises. Upon these the life of man is built, for what can I do apart from them? Do you think in my actions I did not see the purposes of God at work? I burned, I moved all too often in the passion of my heart, but in these passions, in these actings the Spirit also moved and worked, leaving me sacramentally and effectively when my strength was taken. But I was the man of God in my violence, securer, protector, defender, fulfilling the very promise that held out peace by my war. This bloody work was a restoration to the time before blood, blood being shed only when man had broken peace, war now needed to restore it.

With this knowledge, I mystified my Philistine enemies, whose eyes could not see, whose ears could not hear, not having this great revelation, they took the world as it was, the violence of it the image which their gods created (a multiplicity for violence requires division). So when I came upon my slain lion, the dead carcass of my enemy, how fitting it was to find honey there! I laughed then at the beauty of it, the humor a joyful response to unexpectedness, but an unexpectedness that when seen enriched, for with it I fed my family. Yes, these things are shadows, understood only by the people of God, and so my riddle stumped the pagans:

Out of eater, something to eat;
Out of the strong, something sweet.

O Lord, my power and I yours! From the broken opposition of the lion came my honey, the sweetness of it, its nourishment! For what is an eater like death, consuming all men in its insatiableness? To men of this earth, nothing comes from death, the eater consumes merely, the torn bones of man an ending. And so those Philistines were helpless to discern the meaning of my riddle, for we alone of men see in death, in the nipping of the heel of Abraham’s seed, the fulfillment of some hope. As God fed our fathers in the desert, so from the eater came something to eat, so will come from the strong one day something sweet. Even when through my duplicitous woman they heard the meaning, they still knew it not, seeing on the surface the scene alone, as if these things had no more meaning than a dead lion, though it was the Spirit himself who acted through me in it.

Strength then is the rule of the earth, and I am strong, my strength the working of the Spirit of God in this world, and though the violence of it (see the dead Philistines in the thousands, glimpse ahead also the coming death when these columns fall) is bitter, terrible, joyless in itself, yet from it will come something sweet. For God himself slaughtered the animals for Adam, looked with favor on those sacrifices of Abel, Melchizedek, many others, himself prescribing death in all our approaches to him, though what can be sweet like the presence of God? No, from death comes something sweet, for with the end of enmity comes reconciliation, that most beautiful of things.

O Holy One, O Maker, O Fire and Terror! This brings me to you also, for I am a faithful one. O Great Protector, here I stand, my eyes gouged out, my back a mass of blood, bruised, spat upon, mocked. I a man of weakness, though strong. We are such a curious mixture, we men, possessing such power, yet riven with weakness. In the boldness of the Spirit all men fled before me, no power could oppose me. But I was a hollow statue, filled with wax, strong but ready to shatter. Betrayal in me, the external picture of my condition like the nation itself, beset by such enemies, strengthened by men like me, the terror of my enemies, killing them until with this cleansing the people were safe. This, too, was in me, for I possess this enmity too, this heart of lust, this giving over of myself, this surrender. It was the co-conspiring of two enemies, behind both the secret power of the third, the great enemy, and so death is needed, in the nation itself but in me as well.

So the promise. Out of the strong, something sweet. From this flood of death, God is working, the omnipresence of it communicating to us not slowness, nor powerlessness, nor capriciousness, nor indeed any satisfaction in it, for death must go against him who is alone the source of life. No, learn here your own wickedness, the enmity of your own heart. This too must be destroyed, torn down like the power of the columns I feel, though I can no longer see. O Spirit, come upon me again! O Sovereign Lord, remember me. O God, please strengthen me once more, that I may revenge myself upon the Philistines for my two eyes!

Men of the Beach, Talk #2: The Dangers that Lurk Within

2010-04-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

Story #1

Saul:

Saul was a mighty warrior, kingly in bearing, and impressive man. He was a head taller than all the men in Israel, without equal amongst them. He came from a clan famous for its military prowess. He began his reign with a mighty act of subjugation, uniting the tribes of Israel and leading them himself against the Ammonites. After a great victory he is hailed as king. He opens with a bang, a mighty man, a powerful leader, full of the Holy Spirit, acclaimed by the prophet Samuel and celebrated by all the people.

But by the end of his life, Saul is rejected by the Holy Spirit, abandoned and denounced by Samuel, separated in the battle field, and reduced to a botched suicide attempt. His final night as king he consulted a witch. He was widely discredited, a man of anger, jealousy, frustration. His main rival humiliated him time and time again. Victory on the battlefield eluded him unless David was with him. His attempts to harness the entire power of his kingdom to hunt down a small band of men were both futile. His firstborn was more loyal to his rival than to him. He dies a man rejected by God, foolish, weak, and alone. With him, his line dies too, and the kingdom passes to another.

Why does this happen? Why does Saul fail when he began so strong? We see several patterns in his life. There is fear and passivity at critical junctures, like when his army stands at an impasse with the Philistines and daily endures the taunts of Goliath. There is a concern with maintaining appearances, like when he begs Samuel to perform the sham of honoring him before the people, despite the rejection that Samuel has just pronounced. There is a profaneness with the things of God, like early in his reign when he fails to wait for Samuel to perform the sacrifice, out of fear; and when he disobeys God be keeping the best of the animals alive when God had instructed him to kill them all.

What we see is a man who on the outside seemed powerful, strong, and confident, but who on the inside was full of fear, pride, and vanity. The reality of the inner man eventually overcame the brave warrior, and Saul ended his days in ignominy.

Story #2

Ted Haggard:

Similarly, Ted Haggard was a man who looked the part. A charismatic speaker, an intelligent and dynamic thinker, a brilliant organizer and administrator, a far-thinking man of vision and insight, he had built a tiny church in Colorado Springs into a 15,000 member mega-church. With this came a wide influence in the wider world of American evangelical Christianity, including speaking engagements, article-writing, and eventually, the presidency of the National Association of Evangelicals. From this position, Haggard spoke weekly with President Bush, strongly opposed gay marriage, abortion, and other social issues, and fought for greater unity among the various American evangelicals.

In addition, Haggard had an influential ministry in his own church, touching thousands of lives, overseeing a wide variety of ministries, counseling many troubled marriages, and preaching powerfully on a weekly basis. Christianity Today put him on its cover as a poster child for a new and engaging style of ministry with the non-Christian world.

But like Saul, Haggard’s external charisma and gifting hid deep and dangerous flaws. Early in his marriage, Haggard had had a brief sexual encounter with a man, an encounter that he confessed to his wife and a close friend. He had prayed through it, repented, and sought forgiveness from his wife, but not deeply examined this area. Years later, as the toll of his various ministries began to wear on him, Haggard began to drive up to Denver for a weekend (he told his wife he was going on “retreats” to plan sermons). He would get a hotel room and call up a male escort. At first, Haggard just talked to the man, but gradually he began to use for increasing intimacy. Eventually, the man introduced him to drugs to heighten his experience. All this while Haggard continued in his various roles as pastor, speaker, and leader.

Eventually, the whole thing came crashing down. While listening to the radio one day, Haggard’s hired boyfriend heard him denouncing homosexuality and gay marriage on Christian radio. Recognizing the voice (Haggard had never told the man his name), he called some reporters, showing as proof a voice mail Haggard had left him asking for drugs. The story broke, Haggard resigned from all his positions, inflicting on his church and ministry irreparable damage.

Both these men started out acclaimed. Both were respected for their gifts; Saul for his kingly bearing and great size, Haggard for his personal charisma and organizational savvy. Yet both were ultimately brought low by deep and unconfronted weaknesses that their outer gifts disguised.

Today we will be talking about the woundedness that lies within, that perversion of our nature that cannot be hidden forever. We must do a two-part work if we are to avoid the mistakes that brought low these men:

1. We must enter fully into the brokenness of our true self, the distortion and perversion brought to our natures by sin.

2. We must develop a coherent and compelling understanding of manhood to enter into.

In Ephesians iv.22-24—

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitudes of your mind; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

We see here this process. First, to put off the old, perverted self, which is being corrupted, a word which means slowly eaten away and weakened from the inside. You see, if we do not put this self off, no matter what we put on ourselves, there will be an internal source of corruption that will eventually overwhelm us. The inner man must be confronted.

Second, we are renewed in our mind. This is the process of transforming our minds through the Holy Spirit working through his word. As we understand ourselves and God through the lens of Scripture, our minds are made new, and we are equipped for this putting off and putting on. Finally, we are to actively walk in the new revealed ways, to put on the new man, to conform ourselves to the vision of manhood presented in the Scriptures.

Men of the Beach, we must enter into the darkness of our hearts. We must see and know the dangers of our sin. Most of all, we must confront the distortions that we have absorbed, the conflicts between what we receive from our environment, our family, our culture, and even our churches, and what is true.

--------------------------------
Men, listen, what is required of you in the investigation of yourself is honesty and humility.

1. How has my view of manhood been distorted? This is a lifelong process and involves the careful application of the Word.
2. What wounds have I received? How have I been wronged?

Types of wounds:

1. Distorted view of man from absent or abusive father
--This is extremely common. No father figure wrecks havoc on our understanding. It is our fathers that affirm us as men.
2. Overbearing/Controlling mother
--The emotionally manipulative mother often works hand in hand with the absent father. This can keep a man in a perpetually emotionally constrained state, a state of perpetual childhood in other words.
3. Rejection by peers
--Rejected not just by certain people, but as a male. Common for unathletic boys.
4. Sexualization wound
--This is increasingly common as pornography has become widely available. A significant number of people your age, including, I imagine, a good portion of the people in this room were exposed to porn in middle school or younger. This is a gap even between me and you. Other forms of sexualization include sexual abuse, early sexual activity. The Bible says that sexual sin is against our body and “wages war against our soul.” Significant soul damage is done here.

There are other ways that we have been harmed, wounded, sinned against and sinning.

Application:

1. There is weakness in your heart, as a man. You are not strong. Do you think that those men, Ted Haggard, all the thousands of Christian men who have been overcome by the sin that lay in their heart, do you think all of them willfully ignored their sin? No, most likely in their pride they did not realize it was there. They imagined themselves beyond falling.

Judas travelled with Jesus for 3 years before his greed and pride overcame him and he fell. Ted Haggard ministered for 30 years before his sin overcame him. Sin will withdraw from you, lie dormant, pretend that it is absent, while all the time it waits for you to forget, to let down your guard.

2. There is a God-ordained way for us as men to deal with our weakness, and to deal with it together. This is a way that you will never outgrow, that you will never move past your need for. This is the depth and power of mutual encouragement.

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.

All our weaknesses, all our flaws, all our problems and issues, all of them must be worked out in the light, not by us alone, not by our own strength, but on the mutual strengthening that we have only in community with others.

3. This is not for today, not for tomorrow, not for college, not for our youth, but for all the days of our life. As long as we are susceptible to sin, we need men looking into our lives, examining it, and watching over us. And we need to do the same to others.

Some of us are doing this. Others have done this in the past. Others have never done it.

4. Sin has power when it is hidden. The hardest time to share is the first time. We have to permit each other access. They have to see us. What front are you putting up to your brothers? How are you obscuring yourself, hiding what is shameful?

If you get nothing more from this whole program than this one thought, I will be happy:

You must, throughout your entire life, allow men to see your life, to rebuke you, and do the same for them.

5. What obstacles lie in the way of this?

A) The cursed passivity of men. Men are passive and can live side-by-side with each other without ever knowing each other. You must be the initiator. Don’t wait for others!

B) Fear of rejection, shame. This is understandable, but a lie. In our attempts to hide our shame, we achieve the opposite. Think of Ted Haggard, how for years he saved himself from the shame of admitting to a close friend his struggles with homosexuality. But in the end, everyone knew.

C) Perceived absence of men to share with. Moving to a new area, a new church, etc. Can you commit yourselves to this in the long term?

You will only perceive this as urgent so far as you are aware of your sin and weakness. God says humble yourself, and he will lift you up. Therefore men, humble yourself, in your self-conception.

Tamar, justified Part I

2010-04-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

Genesis 38:26

Judah recognized them and said, "She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn't give her to my son Shelah."

Judah, the quiet man, spoke words to me today, words of vindication. Within man is that marvelous thing, that separation and completeness, illusory, that which Judah fiercely sought in me, failed. Words are like a rocky ground when spoken like he did, a ground upon which to stand. With his words he took me in, and now these beating children (for surely the women are right when they say I bear twins, this size, my sickness, their strong movements!) I bear for him. He is not my husband but in me goes forth his line, the line through which I am vindicated.

My people are not my people. I was a Canaanite woman, the daughter of this land, though they do not possess it. I grew up a woman in a world of men, the dwelling of my father where, though I was advanced above the common women, the servants, I belonged only to him and those to whom he would give me. A son is a glorious thing, a vine springing up, but a woman is for her beauty only. If she is not a royal woman then she works, she mothers, she bears sons. If she is beautiful, she is for the pleasure of men, to be looked at and used up. The very strong among us can use those assets of cunning or beauty to beat out a shelter from this world of men. I was beautiful.

O women, mourn with me the ancient loss of these ways! I have seen midwives curse the sight of daughters, complicit in the brutalities of the stronger sex. I have seen the women who dominate their sons and husbands, meeting strength with strength, a fear between them. I have seen, partook in the delight of man's gaze, the secret thrill of being seen, of being looked upon, whatever lay behind it. I have felt that anxiety, the long nights of uncertainty, we women lost in our sisterhood of fear, betraying one another for the desire of men. I have felt alone in this world, the fear of it closing upon me, even when the breeze was light and my father laughed.

O God of Israel, who hears his people, calling them his people though they are not! I, out of the daughters of the land, all the ruler's daughters, I was chosen to be Judah's daughter. I remember the day when he came, Er at his side, to inquire about the Canaanite women. They were his wife's people, Shua was my distant relation, and his friend Hirah was close to my father. So we came out to see this wealthy man and his son, half in awe and half in hope, for the rumors of Judah and his brothers had long been known to us. This was no ordinary local herder, no rich nomad looking for a wife to wander with him. This was Judah the son of Abraham, the legendary man, and who, it was said, was granted this land by the gods. Whatever he does, it was said, is blessed. His flocks and herds increase whether the harvest is good or poor, and sickness never touches them.

Among my ignorant people those legends now seem contemptuous, touching the least important parts of this family, and missing entirely the glory of it. But for men of the earth all that is seen is what is seen, the flocks and herds and mysteries of prosperity, a family that had increased even though they wandered with no wells, no consistent grazing ground, no walls to protect them. Just, it was said, their God, a God unlike our gods, for Judah would let no idols be found among his tents.

I came out, veiled. My father spoke to Judah and I was given to him. I went.

What were my emotions in those days? These are the things that you do, the place you go, the agreement made. My emotions were. I feared. But fear was my life and my days, and transferred to this new place, I was no more and no less in danger than before. My father was my husband was my father-in-law was in power, and I was beautiful. This is to say that men were men and women were women and I acted as I knew how to act. I am Tamar, a foreign woman in the tents of God.

That this was God, that this was the promises, that this family was a new family, these things dawned on my slowly. First, Shua was an invaluable woman. She too had been taken in, a story like my own, except that she was a pale and fragile woman where I was vigorous and strong. She told me of Judah's God when I in my ignorance asked her where the household gods were, and why in my marriage there had been only sacrifices to one God. This God, unnamed, was only the God of Jacob, the God of Isaac, the God of Abraham. The sacrifices were different too, careful, rich, the most perfect only (the mystery of their expanding wealth deepens when you consider this: the best of their flock are consistently sacrificed!). Shua spoke to me about this new worship in hushed terms, and I detected in her voice something that I had never heard in the voice of my own mother.

Then I saw them together, Judah and Shua. Judah spoke, instructing. To enter this household was not to simply to join some wandering tribe with a few absurdly glorified traditions, but to take upon myself a covenant, an agreement with God. But the terms of this agreement confused me for they seemed to be entirely one-sided. Even the sacrifices themselves were not done to appease their God but for some other inscrutable reason, which Judah explained in words that thrilled me even as I struggled to understand. This covenant, apparently, bound me to God, for though I was a foreign women, yet through me would come God's own line, his own people, and his own purpose. In this covenant, I was in them as I joined them, for God was working, God was acting, God was moving.

O Sovereign God, the Fear of Isaac, God who moves! This God was the God Judah recounted to me, the creator who had made man and woman, co-equal in creation and fall. This God spoke the promise of a son, that which Eve once hoped would be her own, whom she acquired in Cain, but who would wait, who was still in the future. This God said the seed of Abraham would be the one, for when God spoke of the seed that would be a mighty nation, he had one in mind, speaking of singular man, the line which Jacob's sons all carried, the nation to come through them.

All these things spilled out of the words of Judah and Shua, promises slowly pieced together into a coherent whole, pieces that showed the purpose behind the sojourn in the land, the sons of Abraham waiting for the land to be theirs, waiting for the seed to come, waiting for the promises. And as they spoke these cohered promises I heard in my heart the voice of God in them, the living voice, and here in these words I lived. I was, though I was not, as the family of God all was, a future hope and promise that the spoken word spoke to each living heart.

Er was beside me during this whole recitation. He had heard these things from his youth, could recite with his father every word of them, yet I searched in vain for that animating light that I saw in Shua. The promises, though complete in what they spoke, were like the ancient legends of my own people to him, dead, lifeless, a story told. He mocked them to me that night, scoffing as I tried to describe what I had experienced, laughing at those hopes and describing instead the world of his sheep, the world he was making, his plans, laughing as he described the violence he had planned for my family. Shuddering, I turned from him, refusing him.

When I awoke, he lay next to me dead.

I don't know what I expected to happen, but the shock and fear of seeing my husband dead next to me was overwhelming. When Judah found me, his eyes darkened, but to my surprise his contempt was reserved for his dead son. Foolish man! he cried. God showed me your death last night, your wickedness. I shrank back, forgotten in his anger. Shua took me out, and the last sight of my dead husband was obscured by his father, weeping and shaking with rage, something beyond the tragedy present.

The time of mourning was brief, and in those days I spent much time with Shua. It was here that she taught me to call upon God, of the nearness of access that the covenant brought to us. She told me of the words that to this day remain my favorite, God speaking to Abraham, saying I am your very great reward. She comforted me and explained the meaning in Er's death, his rejection of the living words and the punishment of God. There is no fear in Him, she said, but there is fear.

But why, I asked, does Judah live here, so far from his brothers?

I do not know, Shua answered, but there is a reason. He is waiting to hear something out here, away from them. When the time is right, he will return.

If the family has heard all this, if the possess this same promise, I asked, what keeps them apart?

She did not answer.

Men of the Beach, Talk #1: Laying the Foundation

2010-04-05T10:28:00.000-07:00

I am posting my notes from a four-part series we are doing on Biblical Manhood. Please excuse grammar mistakes/poor writing. This was just a skeleton that I spoke from.

I. Introduction

What is a man?

Let’s start with a quote from Elisabeth Eliot: Men are men. They are not women. Women are women. They are not men.

This simple-sounding quote is quite profound. Men are men. What this means is that they have certain innate characteristics that cannot be changed or altered no matter what culture they live in, no matter what environment they were raised in, no matter what education was given them. You are all men, a simple fact of creation. When God made you, he made you as a man and not as a woman. This fact has real meaning.

However, just because we were made in a certain way does not mean that we understand ourselves. John Calvin says that there are two types of knowledge: knowledge of self and knowledge of God. It is important to remember that both types of knowledge are revealed knowledge, given to us in Scripture. Just as there are certain types of things that we can know about God from observing the creation (Romans 1:19-23), there are certain types of things that we can know about ourselves from self-observation. But even these things can be denied or suppressed, perverted or misused.

We also live in unique times. Now is one of the great times of gender confusion, self-misunderstanding, and the widespread suppression of the innate differences between the sexes. In academia, you can be fired for even suggesting that there might be differences between the sexes beyond the physical plumbing. This message has trickled into every area of thinking, from the church outward.

In the church, the 20th century was a great time of retreat from the uniqueness of each gender. The charismatic movement, with its emphasis on personal experience of the Holy Spirit, led the way with many charismatic women ministers leading large ministries and congregations. Add into this mix, widespread acceptability of homosexuality, a powerful unifiying popular culture, and you have a potent brew of confusion.

It is important to note that the things that are happening in our culture are not new. Homosexuality was common and unremarkable in Ancient Greece. The denial of gender differences has happened many times before. But the rise of science has diminished the effect of the natural greater strength of men. Few men in the west labor in a field in which women are physically incapable of performing. The effect of this has been to call into question whether the differences between men and women does go beyond the merely physical. The feminist movement of the 20th century argued that the physical superiority of men had for centuries kept women in a subordinate position so that men could exploit them. There is a great deal of truth to this.

At any rate, in order to understand man, we must return to the revealed truth of Scripture to guide us. It is God who made man, and therefore he alone is to be trusted to instruct us on what a man is.

You have to understand a few things:

1. Your view of man has been perverted by the culture. This has strongly affected, and will continue to affect the way you view yourself, the way you interact with other men, and the way you interact with women. KNOW THIS!!!!

2. The church has been remiss in addressing this deeply. In this, they have been complicit in the acculturation of our understanding of men. The result is the absence of strong male leaders in the church.

3. You need to filter not only your thinking, but also your emotions through the Scriptures, testing them and discarding what does not align.

4. The thing that lies in back of all this is our sin, our deliberate rebellion against God.

What is the purpose of Men of the Beach?

1. To give a compelling vision of Biblical Manhood.

2. To encourage the repentance and faith that allows us to restore ourselves to this vision.

3. To give you the tools you need to grow in manhood throughout the rest of your life.

Men of the Beach is a beginning. The restoration of your manhood will continue for the rest of your life and remain incomplete until the day when your flesh is remade, unstained by sin. Remember this: When you are remade, when you are raised from the dead and appear before God, it will be as a man, not as a woman!

Appropriate attitude for entering into these things:

1. Self-doubt

You are much more wicked and rebellious than you can yet imagine. Your heart, your emotions, your patterns of thinking, all are stained by sin and will lead you astray if you trust them.

2. Humility

We must come into the word to be instructed, to be taught. Our cry to the Word of God must be “Change me! Transform me! Teach me!”

3. Hunger for God

At the bottom of all this is the desire to know God. And to come before him, we must come as we were created. We must come as men.

The Biblical foundation:

Genesis 2, Obs.

1. Man is made first, from the dust of the ground.

2. God breathes into man.

3. Man is given a task to do. This is what man was made for. He is not made to simply relax in the garden, but for a specific task. God gives him work to do.

4. God commits a command to man. This shows that man was made to live in submission and obedience to God. He works before God as his image in the world. As his image in the world, he rules over all creation.

5. Woman is made from man because man alone is an incomplete image of God. Alone, he does not reflect the fullness of God. Women completes man because their relationship is a mirror of the Trinitarian relationship.

6. Man looks at woman and names her. He identifies in her a complement.
--J.I. Packer: “Two sexes perceiving the other as having in it that which completes what each individual, male or female, is at present.
-Sexuality—men and women are different and complementary and thus desire each other.

7. When they are placed in relationship, a certain pattern of interaction comes inevitably from this. Woman is the helper, men takes her on as his responsibility to protect and care for her—this is what happens when he says “she is flesh of my flesh.” Paul refers to this in Eph. “love your wives as yourselves.”

Let’s sketch out the full picture:

A man is a creature designed for work in the context of submission/obedience to God. When he works in submission to God, he is fully satisfied.

He is presented with a perfect complement in which his role in the interaction is to lead and protect.

Here we bring out the full picture of what it means to be a man:

Obedience/Submission to God
Responsibility in work and towards woman
Initiation

This is what a man is designed for. To be the initiator towards woman. To be responsible for work and woman. To submit to God and obey him in all things. This is a man.

How have we fallen away from this?

Genesis 3, Obs.

1. Adam is present but silent. His inaction is his sin. Rather than initiate, rather than take responsibility for the garden and his wife, he chooses passivity. In this, he rejects what he is made for. He suppresses his design.

2. This culminates in his disobedience. When he eats the fruit, he rejects the commands of God, but the process is begun when he rejects the responsibilities he has been given.

3. His passivity is rebellion. He rebels against what God has created him for.

4. The promised result of this is death. God had said if they ate from the tree they would die.

The curse, obs

1. The decay and eventual destruction of our bodies. “to the dust you will return.”

2. The task given to Adam had been to tend for the garden and care for it. This task is cursed. Only with painful toil will he bring fruit from the earth, and he will not be able to sustain himself in it. It will not bring life or satisfaction.

3. Death and the lack of satisfaction in the work we were made for. This is a curse on our design itself.

4. Note the pattern here: We are created with a certain design. We sin against that design. Our design is itself cursed.

Conclusions:

1. Man sins by rejecting his design, through refusing to take responsibility towards the woman and towards the garden.

2. His design does not therefore change, but it is cursed. This cursing makes him unable to find life and satisfaction in doing what he was designed to do.

Applying this to ourselves:

1. Know that Adam’s story is your own story. You were designed for these things. You have chosen to suppress this in passivity and sin. You have rebelled against God, choosing your own way rather than the way he made.

2. No matter what we say or do, we cannot change our design. There is a reason that men and women are drawn to each other. There is a reason why work and destiny speak to the soul of men. There is a reason men long for the experience of grand things. The draw on your soul for adventure, for experience, for completion, for self-testing, for endurance, etc. These are part of your design, and in themselves, good things. It is proper for a man to desire a woman. It is proper for a man to hunger for the achievement of work, success, victory. These things are in a man, and will emerge, despite all the work of suppression we do.

3. But we desire our own way. In our sin, men hate God. Listen to that and know the truth of it from Scripture. Psalm 10:

He boasts about the cravings of his heart,
He blesses the greedy and reviles God.

Therefore, we tend towards two extremes, each one a rebellion against God:

A) We deny and suppress our design.
B) We embrace a parody version of our design outside of the authority of God

Note: Most men do both, at different times, but incline towards one or the other.

Examples:

Parody manhood is easier to see and understand, because it is more common across history. This man attempts to find life in his work. The most classic example of this is Alexander the Great, the man driven by his overweening ambition to conquer the whole known world, only to weep when he discovered that it would not bring him satisfaction and life.

This is a common vision in pop culture. This is James Bond, who is powerful over women, who completes his job with effortless competence. This man finds satisfaction in his work, gets what we wants from women. But it is a fantasy because this parody version of man cannot bring life.

Men seek this life from their work, seek to find in women the satisfaction of their desires. But it does not work because only God could bring life.

Parody man is haunted by a simple question: Am I enough?

No matter his competence or achievement in work, no matter his success with women, he had not found the completion he desires, and he does not know why.

The suppression of these things does not work either. This is man who refuses to take on a task (this does not mean he does not work, ex. Jim Halpert), who denies the ambition, the work-orientedness of man. He denies the complementary relationship between men and women, failing to understand himself as a man and therefore refusing his desire for women.

(This of course leads to homosexuality. It is important to note here that this is not always a conscious decision. Often, a man fails to understand himself as a man, and denies them because he does not see them as a part of himself. We will talk about homosexuality more next week.)

Surveying the Wreckage:

Man is defined by several things:

1. Responsibility in task
2. Initiation in relationship to women
3. Submission/Obedience to God

All three have been fatally weakened by sin. They are either suppressed, or we seek a parody version outside of the authority of God.

At this point, we are in need of honesty and humility to move forward. We are in need of deep repentance. We are in need of each other.

Revising

2010-04-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

I've been spending a good deal of time lately working on several large scale projects (one of which is revising the entirety of the Inner Life of the Saints.

I probably will not do anymore new posts from that series. I do not know WHAT exactly I will write on here next.

Abel, Dying

2010-03-20T20:24:00.001-07:00

Genesis 4:10

The Lord said, “…Your brother’s blood cries out to me from the ground.”

I am dying.

Death comes. Unaware I walked, my brother at my back, walking towards the field, pain suddenly intruding, uncomprehending, for a moment stunned, fading, fallen, a strange pulsing in my ears, my eyes still open, regarding the sky, then a face, mirthless but smiling, hate-filled eyes, cold satisfaction mixed with confusion, withdrawn into himself, holding my gaze for a moment then looking away, the stone dropped.

Lord, keep my mind for you now, in this perishing, as my memories flow over and against each other collect my coherency, let me consider and think, that I may honor you even here in my death, for death is ours, death is mine and Cain’s and the world’s, an inheritance we all possess, and to die is my preparation.

Remember, O heart, in your pain, remember the lessons of death, that which death speaks to you, remember it and speak to God! O Lord, death upon me is terrifying!

O Lord, this life escapes from me, flowing out the blood which contains it, and in my dying there is helplessness, an ending, a seeming finality that I cannot stop, cannot control. Well did you curse men when you gave us death, that uncontrollable consumer, me the first of all men to experience it, for it chases us down and we cannot escape.

I remember the first time I saw it. Certainly death has been present in the earth since that day, since the day of cursing, but my parents sheltered me from it for many years, the days of my growth when in the artificiality of our household (artificial in the contrast with the wildness of what surrounded us) my parents shielded me from the chaos of the world. But they told me of it, the power of it, the inevitability of it, teaching me the lessons of the brokenness that would be mine. When my father judged the time was right I saw it, going with him to the flocks, walking with him through the hills as we guarded the ewes from that which stalked them.

Then one night, I heard the cry, strangely childlike, of the distress. My father, already awake, shook me, telling me to hurry, urging me to come with him, and we ran in the dark, guided only by our ears. When we found her, the lion still stood, a confrontation unexpected, at least by me, though my father must have known it. By the dimness of coming dawn, and the remaining brightness of the moon, the scene was gray, colorless, the blood from the ewe a darkness on unmarked white, the menace of the lion stilled for a moment, the cries ceasing, my father with his staff wary but fierce, my heart seized by a terrible fear.

So brief was this moment but its memory was still strong, for the emotion stamped it upon me, the surging of my fear, that sudden uncertainty (for fear comes only when the outcome is obscure) of safety, the lion before me a coiled danger, and I knew that I was fragile, flesh, vulnerable. O this was a newness! What did I know of mortality then, when I knew of no death, no end? But now I feared the ending of my life, my heart clung to it, for the soul knows nothing but itself, comprehends nothing but itself, and death that terrible nothing, that swallower, what is it to the ignorant man? It is fear, it is emptiness, it is an overcoming, it is terror. Non-being, a horror in its nothingness, confronts us in death, whatever scale it is on.

The lion, startled by our appearance, fled. My father bid me pick up the ewe, so I gathered the body into my arms, a motionless thing. I looked at my father and he was crying, his head bowed. What is this, I thought, what sadness, what mourning? My father’s face in the grayness of that morning was perhaps as memorable as anything else that passed, for on it was edged the deep sorrow of things lost, the death speaking to him with a clarity, that what was hinted at in my experience was to him a full story. For a long moment we remained there still, my arms cradling the deadness, my father walking in the past, remembering. Then he spoke.

He spoke of the words that had passed between him and God on that day many years ago, though not so many years really, as we reckon it now, though father said the days then were different, that they changed without changing, the way the grass grew without growing, and the animals existed together in unity (to him, these were all interconnected, though my mind struggled to see them this way). Lost in the memories, he spoke, though much of what he said was past comprehension, his words grasped and reached beyond me and into me, the world of old a mysterious place. But what emerged came out with a sufficient clarity, the tree sacramentally set forth for his obedience, the spoken word of God, this mysterious choiceness of our creation, that man in his image was choiced, and here the fruit, here the tempting, here the choice. Yes, God said, eat of it and die, and he ate.

O Lord, death is this world, death, and now I too die!

But, O Lord, (this word a beautiful word), but in the mystery of death, in the covenant you made with him, there was no provision for mercy, no extension outwards absolutely promised, no promise at all, though no guarantees in the other direction either. Why this persistence, why this broken world? That convenant spoke nothing of it, which is why my father fled from you, fled from the terror of your presence in the breaking of it, anticipating if anything that the word you spoke would come to pass. Lord, you spoke death for the breaking of it, and thus death must come, but Adam (man) yet lives, and continues, and perpetuates.

Thus in his weeping, even as he spoke of this decay, this world getting worse (did he see this new horror?), he spoke also of the promise, the promise to be waited for. This also was wrapped in shadow, in the dimness of past, but in itself clear enough to look ahead to, as all promises must be, containing that which the future holds out to us, and what can we live on if the future does not speak to us? I also am a man of the future, looking to what is ahead, that promise to be waited for, speaking of death also, containing death, shown in the robes my father was presented with, the robes that still cover over the nakedness of my parents, the robes of his shock when he saw death for the first time, death at the hands of God, this new thing, a ceasing. God did it, God spoke it, and in the promise also speaking, speaking his words as possessed not heard.

Yes, hear this world, the promise is wrapped up in death, the crushing of the head, the offspring of the woman. This world is not ours, O Cain, O Cain, why did you not tend the flocks with me, or take at least from me the gift with which to please the one under whose hand we are for these short moments endured? O Cain, you choosing your plants, your fruits, the labor of your hands, the sweat of your brow watering them, this labor a sign of the brokenness of the earth according to the word of our father, the Word once spoken, not a place to be controlled, no place to receive life from. O Cain, we cannot control this land, though in your pride you sought to, that sacrifice no sacrifice but the works offered, as if anything but his mercy would suffice, when he holds back from us the death that will come!

No, I die here Cain! I righteous in the approval of my sacrifice, learned from the one who was pleased in it, learned from the memory of my father’s robes, learned from the death all the world shudders under. You and I the same but called forth differently by this promise, you in the scowl of your works and pride, I in the brokenness of the seeing heart. I see death and mourn, but you triumph over it! Strange then that my sacrifice should be death and yours an attempt to control life. Yet in his speaking God chose mine, and you, bitter man, you broke with the power of your arm my life, and now I die.

Lord, this is the pathway of it, a sudden turn, that I, approved and loved, and he, rejected and unloved, should find ourselves here. I, tough loved, die, and he, unloved in his idolatry, is master. See this, and know that the jealous heart cries out, my blood a sign of it. For what do we make of a love that allows itself to be so trampled? Death is a mystery, but you in your dispelling power have set forth the light to guide us in it, and in this guided path I found my death! O Lord, this justice already threatened but the promise guaranteeing it, so my blood stands outside this promise, for the promise is surely a shielding promise, giving to my parents their covering when in the inadequacy of their leaves they were exposed. What shield was it to me here in this field when Cain’s hand destroyed me? Lord, I am the father of all who will trust in these promises, but what will my blood say to them? Let it cry out, then, let it cry out to you, that they may be comforted, that your promise may be a fit shield for those that like I seek in it the death shelter from the death that surrounds them, though they too die. In death, the promise shields from death, a dying man speaking justice, and a new hope for a new world, where justice lives and is, blood being my life, and the morning ever dawning.

Noah, observing the cleansed earth

2010-03-11T16:40:00.000-08:00

Genesis 6:8

But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.

The waters having receded from the face of the earth, the new life growing upon it once more, the growth of life spreading from the rim of the flood region, where the dove flew, finding the olive leaves which showed to us the dimming of God's wrath against his creation, the work of his fingers, the perfection of it spoiled by the disorder of a thousand rulers, that which all creation hints at, seen in its small imperfections, manifested in disease, the war of tree against tree and animal against animal.

Consider for example, the plants of the forest. Walk amongst them and you will find on the surface a pulsing life, a variation co-existing together in a seeming harmony, one plant shading another, the animals living among them, here a fruit, there a fungus, moss in the dampness, seeds spread by the wind, a diversity of color, size, etc. This is the testimony of the eye, giving evidence on first glance of the wisdom, creativity, joy, life-giving quality of God and his works. In all God's work somewhat of his character is made manifest, from the glory and power of the wide heavens, to the consideration in the life of the smallest creature. This is the echo across creation of what God said when he made, a declaration we carry on record from the first one, the man who first experienced God and whose line possesses and passes down the promises, our progenitor Adam, who heard and told that God pronounced all things good, a pronouncement which like all God's words contains a delineating and filling truth, both in accordance with reality and itself a shaper of reality.

Thus creation is good, and indeed, the very word itself implies goodness, for the creation stems from the maker, and in this way aligns with the maker, coming forth in a line from him, in accordance with him. What is good, at least as we see it, is no more than a manifestation of his essential character, a glimpse of him, his overruling, absolute as only he is absolute, though in a certain way of thinking, relative. But this is an unhelpful thought, before which we ought to close our mouths, cover them over lest we offend him who has such marking out power, for before such an absolute, there is no comparing power, as though one could redefine the self outside of him, redefined relative to him, giving the soul power of choosing. This was the serpent's path, in truth a setting the self up against God, being God before whom we remain insignificant, small. He alone has a defining power, for he alone created, and from the creator comes all categories. Can we be but what he has made us to be? This, after all, is no more than to say that we are obeying creatures, a lower order than him who made us, thus living and existing to obey, this our worship before him. This is what we were bound to in Adam, the obedience which was laid out before him as a choosing creature.

He absolute, we obedient. This is our fulfillment, the goodness of God perhaps relative in that perverted sense, but yet this is the pathway that offers to us happiness and life, for from him flows life, this alone exposing the great dependence we live under, that he alone gives us life! Such freedom as we imagine we purchase in our disobedience is a choice perhaps, but no life and therefore a greater slavery than what men imagine a return to God would entail. Submission to our created order is the only freedom, for what God made for us, indicated in the diversity of our bodies and souls, is the joy of a free obedience, a riot of interconnection, and order beautiful, precious, that freedom which in the promise we will one day be restored unto.

What freedom is there in that self-following? Men constrained to the seeking of pleasure, having no ability to act against themselves, all the time seeking that absolute in themselves, though what cries out in this but that man was not made for it? O foolish man, would that you could not live in the weaknesses of your nature, for what we see as weaknesses are no more than what God has made, he making all things good, and thus that weakness is his doing. Take yourself as you are, O man, and live! If God is good, his creation is good, and if you exist then you are creation, for look at yourself and what surrounds you. It is all other, a thing you can in no way control, this only a weakness if God is not good, but he is good! If he is good, then live in your weakness, for it loses its weakness and simply becomes.

O men, such were the preaching I gave, to long for the promises, to repent of self-obedience, to flee from the violence, hatred, bloodshed, exploitation, emnity, sexual depravity, all that broke out from the heart of man as he went forth from Cain and the ways of unfaithfulness. O the ancient hope of Adam, broken, when he saw his son ruined, and Cain a hater! Men against men in an orgy of power, blood, brokenness! And one line, alone calling on God, clinging to the promise he gave, the head of the serpent crushed, the woman's line reversing the ancient curse, the explanation of all this pain and suffering given, to the smallest child and the oldest man. Yes this was my preaching to them, I alone, my voice rising amidst the clamor of a thousand opinions, alone in the plain, as men spread their uncleanness throughout the land. There I labored, building the ark with my sons over the long century, this ark among them as a shelter, always calling, always inviting, a voice that spoke the mercy of God amongst the chorus of his wrath and anger, for the world he had build would not for long bear under the sin of man.

Yes, and look closer, O heart, at the forest, and see, see the roots of a thousand trees entangled in a relentless struggle for the diminished water of the soil! See the strong and the weak in a hardened opposition, the weak fleeing and the strong mastering! See the diseases among them hidden but spreading! See the pain of every creature, the hunger, the violence, the world itself reflecting the horror of man's heart, a fallen creation through which sin has spread in shadow! Yes, see this and mourn, mourn that ancient evil, and mourn that your heart has brought it!

O world, what we have lost!

Righteousness, the rightness of things, this is God's to restore, to return to the earth. How will he do this? Understand the patterns which he gave me, that I may remember them and understand again what is laid out for me, what my walk is, that I may, O Lord, my your great mercy, follow the pattern of my ancestor Enoch! Remember, O heart, this great key of the saints, the rememberance of God's words like a stamp upon our soul! This is our circumcision, our seal, the words made real in the power of his presence.

I, like my father, clinging to the promise of God, watching as the world around me deteriorated in the increase of man's wickedness (increase, perhaps in the cummulative effect, though it was always the inclination of man's heart, always, everywhere, in every occurence, to follow the evil therein). Then, bursting forth in like kind to the promises (more direct in my experience of it perhaps, but no less real in what it held out), the voice of God instructing. That it was God's voice was never questioned, nor that in its instructions it must be obeyed. If the word was real, then it was to be obeyed, the two imply and complete each other, one an invisible reality and the other its external proof.

Yes, his voice came and by faith in its reality, I build the ark, though we were far from any water. But, it must be said, the apparent likelihood of the fulfillment was hardly a factor, for whether we were close to water or far is only a consideration if we are thinking of things according the relativity of man's power, as if we should prepare for battle against such and such because of his nearness and likelihood of attacking us. But God is God, his word an absolute that stands apart from likelihoods. There were no other considerations except that he said he would do it. So we build the ark.

But look deeper and remember the promise, O son of Adam, O Noah! There in this world of sin we stood and believed in the words of God. There we heard of the coming day, the day when God would flood our world with his cleansing water, with it wiping all life from the face of the earth. There we trembled, my sons and I, before the power of God and with one voice called out to the men of the world to save themselves! There held out to us was the salvific promise of God, that ark, that refuge, that great shelter into which we fled as the day came, the shelter our faith ushered us into, not meritoriously, as if in hearing of God's salvation we had earned it! No, we fled into those doors, my sons and I, huddled before him, saved from the wrath of God as the world was remade.

We came forth, O maker, to a new world, a world cleansed, but in shadow only, a world representative in its newness but of no actual newness, for the waters that spread over it were simply waters, containing also in their essence the spread of sin, and thus of no ultimate value. No, the power of something greater is needed to renew us here, and as life grow it will remain in the patterns we have long seen, the competition, the brutality, the strong and weak opposed, the blood of men once more to spill out into it. There the rainbow, that new promise of his grace as a mediation of all his actions to us, that he will bear up under the sin of man until the promise is fulfilled, this adds even to the promise a new dimension, a new depth that my sons will pass onward as we wait.

O new earth, you are new in the hope of your arrival each day! You are new in the renewal of the promises to you this day! You are new in the reminder of the cleansing presence of God, that renewal of the reality of your power, which will sit with man in this record and memory, that he may be restrained! O filter through the mythologies of every man this anger, this wrath, that in their error they may yet be restrained, letting the echo of it fill the earth and call men back, call them back, that earth though it shudders may endure until you bring forth your promise from it, and in this renew it, for the promise is for the curse that shudders everywhere in her! And I, Noah, will worship you here for the mercy and grace of your promise, the sacrament of the rainbow before me, passing onto my sons both the memories of this great cleansing, and the mercy of the God who preserves all those that he chooses, a people who posses this promise, awaiting the fulfillment that is to come.

--------------------------------

Genesis 6-9
Noah is called a "preacher of righteousness" in II Peter 2

David, aware now of his dead son

2010-03-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

John Donne:

Take me to you, imprison me, for I
Except you enthral me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

II Samuel 12:20

Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped.

My soul is quiet before you, the quietness of an honest mourning. There is a peacefulness in my heart, the peace of an assured forgiveness, the peace of rest in God. I stand before him here in the temple, worshipping, a man made known to himself, a man with new light, but the light shines from the one who also looks, an examination from one who already knows what he examines. I am here, silent in the humility of this new depth to my heart, but at peace for the one who exposed it knew it already when he chose me that day long ago, when Samuel poured the oil over my head and his Spirit filled me. He is still mine, for he owns me, though his owning is a hard thing.

O heart, examine and know yourself! This new placidity is for your subjugation, that rebellious center revealed, brought forth as the hand of God lifted itself off me for a moment, and the dark ways were shown.

There were days in my youth when God made every moment alive, when as I tended the flocks his presence brought a joy I could touch and feel, a transporting joy that shattered the youthful hardness of my heart, that old rebel, the betrayer was captured by God, and I sang and made music to the Lord! My singing was a new song, a song with words but beyond words, or rather, the words invested with a power that revealed the deeper truths, the actualities. Yes, I sang, my heart aflame with love for him, a sincere love, an exalting love, and he was my all. What foundations did you lay in me as I tarried in the fields, O wise God? What pathways did you clear to your heart as I sang and worshiped? The very nearness of you was like a stamp on my soul, or rather, like the glory of upon the face of Moses, a shining that faded only slowly, renewed as it was day-by-day in my approaches to him.

Then, O sustainer, O refuge, O shield, the days of my fleeing, when sometimes I seemed abandoned by God, when I cried out like a spurned lover, when denied you were denied me and my heart beat with love for you, for the distance made my memories stronger, increasing my desire like salt to a thirsty man. In your denial, O Lord, you were strangely present, for there was no forgetfulness in those days. No, I daily cried to you, and the moments in which you came were like lamps in the night, like the streams of the Negev, sharpening my thirst, increasing it, satisfying it. O my heart still beat for you, you drawer of men, you fierce one, for it was shown another part of itself in those days. You were joy, and you were desire.

O Lord, then, then, how great was my joy in the victories you gave! You did not withhold the request of my lips, but gave me victory, glory, a crown of pure gold, a throne, a promise, the ark of your presence, the sword, all these things from your hand came to your anointed one! Then surpassing them all, the glory of the great promise, my son to be my Lord, him to rule forever, I under him unlike the pattern of sons and fathers, this a mystery, but glorious in its mysteriousness, set on top of all the promises our people possess, it gave me that great psalm, the inspiration of your Spirit moving my tongue as it burst forth from me, that he would be the priest-king, the great one, the eternal one, like Melchizedek!

I sat in my palace that day, having come from the house of God, the reflected glory of the Lord still full upon my soul, a joy surpassing, seemingly unceasing, joy and desire met in the fullness of his presence, promises, mercy, it was all mine!

Then, it faded.

What darkness came upon me? What obscured him from me? It was not like his withdrawals, of which I was familiar, that universal experience of his people when he sharpens their desire through an awareness of his value. This was...different, its motions hidden from me, like when the over-sated stomach loses the tang of food, eating to eat or drinking to drink. This was not a reversal of the pathways of my affections, but a slow ebbing of them, their disappearance, even as in my manner and conduct I retained a seeming normalcy. My worship continued, my life went by as usual, my friends were my friends, I ate, I drank, I slept. But something was missing.

O God, I should have cried out to you then, for though you did not seem distant you were further away than you had ever been in former days! O God, my wanting of you had never vanished, and in my pride I never imagined that it could, I never knew that what had always been consistent was constantly maintained in me by you! O God, I perhaps wanted to want, sometimes frustrated by my lack of desire, but I thought that this was the normal way of our interaction, a gradual comfort once victory was claimed, in reality a base complacency, a forgetting, a contra-choosing! O mourn, heart, mourn the sin in you!

O yes, this was sin. This was the wickedness of my heart, that which had lurked all the days of my life, from the joys of my experiences, to the longings of his absences, to the exultations of my victories, always my heart was wicked, crafty, watching in wait like a lion under cover, watching in secret to catch his victim, and drag him away in his net. Undead sin, left alive by the unwatchful heart, the assuming heart, the foolish man who considered his donated desire his own, though its true owner could retract it as he would.

Time passed. The spring came and I stayed home from the battles, leaving Joab to fight them in my stead. I, who had always fought the enemies of God with the zeal of one jealous for his glory, who had charged up the hill against the giant, instead I sat on the roof of my palaces, satiated by what lawful desires I was afforded. I looked upon her. I desired her. I took her.

There is more in the recalling than that simple recitation of facts, for much business occurred in my heart as the decision was being made. It was a turmoil, my heart both rebelling and recoiling from it, but my desire hung heavy around me like a mist, and made all things confusing. To dispel would have taken a mere moment, shining into it the light of his law, the law about which I once wrote, "The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes." But there was no desire to dispel them, for I hid in them, and though I see that God held me even as he loosed me, it was I who brought the mist in, it was I whose watchlessness left open the gates of my heart, who staggered towards the pit in my path with an empty mindlessness, overcoming my objections not with answers but with a suppression, an internal shouting down that simply led me to sin willfully, I who once said "Keep your servant also from willful sins, may they not rule over me."

Willful sins rule over us, they are our masters, for in our choosing we are slaves, slaves. There is no freedom in rebellion, all darkness blinds, and the flesh once given room will take all. One sin led to another. I, David, I am now an adulterer, a murderer, a liar, and a thief. This I was in my heart, now I am that to all, having taken, I can never give back. But above all of it there was an empty buzz, a forgetfulness, a sunkenness. There I was, in the miry pit, as I had long cried out from. But now I was poured out like mud, lifeless, existing merely, worshiping in the same outward way, but a hidden man. I was dead in my desire, but I didn't know it.

O Lord, what mercy you showed me! For there I would have continued, my desire for all time subsumed by what can be seen and touched, my former joy a forgotten thing, dim with the memories of my past, a man under the shroud, helpless in his emptiness. What we are unaware of we cannot fight, and this shows the grace that God gifts to us far beyond what we can imagine in our weakness, this grace of seeing and fighting, the grace of calling and crying, the grace of knowing our distance from him, knowing even the offense we have done. For though I knew my sin, it was the half-knowing that stayed in my reason, the propositional fact of it admitted and squirmed under, but it did not make me gasp.

Then, rushing in, it came, the words of Nathan like a hammer, breaking, destroying, throwing down, and suddenly there was nothing but my sin before God, that waking that comes, like a man half-asleep who snaps into a fuller consciousness from the shock of a loud voice. It was like light, but not the gentle light of a lamp, no, the searing, merciless light of the summer noon. I had known it, but now it was before God, his awareness of it so terrible that I could only admit it, I could say nothing else, for there was nothing else to say. This was a glimpse of all men before God, for surely all will be one day exposed, they are exposed now, it only rests to bring it into their present awareness, and to brought in it now, in this life, not to be destroyed but to be given mercy? O Lord, this is fodder for the rest of my days, for here is a new sight, a new understanding, given when I thought all was understood, all known, all experienced. No, David! There are new depths to be seen, new depths of mercy and grace, each exposure magnifying it!

So now I sit in the temple, worshiping. I will never gain back what my soul has lost in these sins. This is real loss, a real mourning that flows naturally from my deeds. All men face such reckonings, and it is a principal part of the joy of wisdom that such things are avoided. So my son is dead, and though I will see him one day, he will not come back to me. This is a sadness, and my heart mourns it.

What do I do now, Lord? I have learned of myself. I have seen secret things that shock me, a heart once so strong for God, now revealed as impure, selfish, violent. It was always so, but now I see it. O Lord, there is a terrible fear, a trembling fear, that you will one day remove the hedge around me again, and I will fall. O Lord, preserve me!

O God, the humble heart is aware of its weaknesses. The humble heart sees as grace every holy action, every holy desire. The humble heart claims nothing for itself, but returns all to you. The humble heart is dependent in everything, O maker, everything! Lord, if you turn a deaf ear to me, I will be overcome!

O Lord, you are the one who makes his dwelling among the humble. Then, if my heart is humble, you will always dwell with me. You who makes the heart humble, make mine so! For in the worship, I am again flooded with the sense of your presence, your goodness, your grace, the assured faithfulness of your covenant, that you preserved me here, bound me up in your word and saved me, though all of it is yours! O God, I see my heart in the light of your examination, I see the terrible weakness of it, and Lord, I hate it, I hate this flesh, this sin, these dangers, this sojourn is already too long, and dangers crowd around me. O God, preserve me, this poor man, take me as you have always done, restoring the joys of my salvation, granting me also a willing spirit that will sustain me til the end.

And now, let me teach transgressors your ways! O Lord, my heart though humble now, is a heart yet and I doubt it. Men of Israel, do the same! You are never beyond any sin, any falling, even the ones that in your pride you would scoff at. The weakness is in you, it is your inheritance, and unless God sustains you, you will fall. So come before him, worship and plead with him, roll your whole soul upon him, and he will carry you. His grace will come and you will be at peace.

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Many psalms are referenced.
The story is 2 Samuel 11-12

Caleb, tearing his clothes

2010-03-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

Numbers 14:24

But because my servant Caleb has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to, and his descendants will inherit it.

O Lord, this sojourn almost over!

O Lord, the goodness of the land glimpsed!

O Lord, this tantalizing vision experienced, me in the land, walking it in the joy of anticipated possession!

Lord, this promise, this promise, this has been my feast for years, living and breathing in the promise with the hope of things to come. I have made a life upon it, sustained in the long years when we cried out in Egypt. How many times was I mocked, even among my own people, for making the promise my desire? How often was I told of the emptiness of it, the foolishness of hoping for impossible things, the dead words heard by one of our fathers. How much better to make our lots here bearable, to improve the conditions in which we labored, to dissipate amongst the Egyptians, to join with them in the society they were building, and thus to honor our God amongst their gods through the glory of man's works. This was the pragmatist voice, supposedly, the voice of the self-described practical man, that at the very least we should drop the noxious idea of our cultural peculiarity and superiority, that vexing thing to our masters. The thought of escape seemed distant, even as the burden of slavery grew and grew. In such circumstances, men could either abandon their hope, or cry out, or convert over the life of their faith. Some gave in, the overseers amongst us, what some men made of Moses before he showed himself. Others gave up what hope they had, rebelling emptily, dying in the cynicism and brokenness of true despair. But we, we lions, we cried out.

There next to the bones of Joseph we cried out. There in our slavery we cried out. There the promises were as real to us as they ever have been. There the compassion of God was made known, the compassion of moments and days, hope born again and again as we cried, in the crying strengthened, for he would come, and we knew beyond knowing that what he spoke was true, the words of it coming to our hearts as they did to Abraham's. We possessed the promises and in our mind they were framed real.

Ah faith, that magnificent thing, how dear you are to the hungry heart, both satisfying it and nurturing the hunger, increasing it! O faith, in its nature it brings close distant things, so that I stand as close now to the promises as Abraham once did, for the power behind them neither waxes nor wanes, a steadiness that makes the fulfillment as sure if it were still a thousand years distant!

But now, does closeness increase the trust? For I have walked in the fulfillment of the promises, I have seen them and tasted the fruits of them. O they are there, the goodness of the land a real thing. We walked it, examined its dimensions, testing the claims of the God who promised it. O God, did my heart ever doubt the truth of your word? Did I ever question that the land would be what you said it would be? No, no, never Lord! This heart is a steady heart, a heart that is all for you, that beats and burns with only one love!

Lord, I will have no other master!

This is my heart, from the beginning, a heart for you.

But Lord...

[for a moment, he can hardly think]

Lord, I am here on the cusp, on the bring, on the edge, the thing promised here, here, Lord, I am here and I saw it, and it was mine for a moment, it was ours, Joshua and I seeing its spaces and hunger was brought to the pitch that they call fulfillment, as it was lifted into itself, O Lord, I was there, it was mine, and now, these people, O Lord, give them...

Lord, take away their wicked hearts, Lord, forgive and overwhelm them, Lord, do not destroy us! Lord, what can I say that will appease you, O Lord, my mouth is shut before you though my heart rushes forward...

Lord...

[he rips his robe]

Hold them back, O master of hearts!

Lord, I know that my heart is not special in itself! Lord, that I can see and hear is not mine to possess! O Lord, I stand before the promises like every man, their content the same, spoken to each man alike, yet for me to hear them is no act of my will, no choice that I took, for I was compelled into my cries, my heart taken not given, though given once taken, and I have no claim on the joy that such a sight brings!

Lord, you can do this! Lord, you can do all things! Lord, you took us through the Red Sea, destroying the Egyptians behind us, feeding us from the sky and guiding us by the fire and smoke! Lord, this is your power, over all created things, and my heart is no less created than anything else! Lord, then, take them, take them, restrain them, hold them back, O Lord, I can taste the promises and my heart longs for them!

How many times must I repeat this prayer before the quality of my heart has been shown to me? Lord, fulfill your promises and give us this land! Lord, I long for it! I know it is a shadow only, for who doesn't know this when he sees his body decay before him, knowing that a blessing from an eternal one must be eternal and that the promises we have been given are our blessing according to the word given to Abraham, and that the land stands for the substance which is ours as well, they that can see and hold, a more real place as the promises are more real than the words of men!

Lord, these men are fools, fools, no fear of God is in them, and foolishness is weakness opposing strength, a wrong and irrational estimation of things, and they who oppose you have even seen you in the fire, have watched as you consumed Nadab and Abihu, as you destroyed the firstborn of Egypt, as your plague burned among us, as you killed with your snakes, with your fire, O Lord, how can they see such things and still oppose you! O the obstinancy of the hardened heart! I have seen and trembled, but they have seen and boldly oppose!

O Lord, I long as my heart, in the mercy of longing, and if I have to ask again and again and again I will, for all my heart is for the great future, and I want nothing from this world, I will not be denied you, for I already possess you.

Lord, they choose the slavery of Egypt over you! Lord, they shake before men of the Earth (what matters the power of even the mightiest men before him who reigns?)! Lord, they humble themselves before flesh and stand proud in front of you! Lord, they harden their hearts and close their ears!

Bound we are, bound by the Words of God, bound by the constrains of what he says. These boundaries are not like the chains of Egypt, that which mediated all our actions through the pain and pleasure of our flesh. No, these bounds give us a scope to act, a power of motion that is the treasure of those who can see them. For if God has promised us this land, than we are bound to enter it, but there is a fearlessness in such an entrance, a fearlessness that the heart leaps to life in front of.

Their bodies will drop, empty and dead in the desert. Lord, but preserve the people, preserve them, preserve me! Preserve your promises, your word, the only hope of this broken world, the promises that give land to the landless, the promises that penetrate deeper to the blessing, the deep blessing, that which makes living so I come, drawn by the goodness of it into a complete heart, a heart for him, a heart that cries out in all things, always fixed, always centered, always set where the life comes forth, from God, from his hand, in his words we live and breathe and have our being, and this life of faith, this spiritual life, glimpsed in the shadow of the goodness of the land, it will be the preserved hope always of my heart and those akin to me, my people, your people, O Lord, sustain us that we may bring forth the life of this promise, punish and purge us, that you may succor for all time the people by this terrible warning, and I, my name bright by the glory shining it, may one day walk here, one day take it all for myself, possessing and owning it as only the promises can deliver! My heart cries out and will not cease!

Abraham, on Mount Moriah

2010-03-05T16:20:00.000-08:00

John Owen:

The peculiar specifical nature of faith, whereby it is differenced from all other powers, acts, and graces in the mind, lies in this, that it makes a life on things invisible.

Genesis 22:1

Some time later God tested Abraham.

This is the foreboding, the waiting, the long gap between promise and consummation. Here the victory lies, here the sight of things invisible is made known, and what man is made of, his heart's treasure, exposed and made known to him.

O Lord, with what surfeit of emotion do I tremble before you! This is spoken by an old man, a man of age and wisdom, familiar with waiting, with deferring, with putting off the hope of the years, not that it makes the promises dim for me, for in some mysterious way the waiting has made them brighter. Or perhaps it is my eyes that are sharpened, for the years have made me more yours, more set apart from those amidst I wander, even in the failings of my flesh my heart has been brought forth more fixed, more steady, more ready to suffer for what will be gained, that future thing, seen in its outline but not yet discernible.

Not that the fixedness of my heart has evened out my emotions, nor made the arc of them less extreme. It seems this changeableness, this mutability is a mark of my nature, and the waiting does not destroy it. I am sometimes high in the joy of your presence, happy with the surpassing happiness of a grasped possession, for in such moments what is mine in fact becomes so real that I taste and feel and see it. This is the exquisite joy of my belief, to be presented with invisible things, a spiritual joy that sustains. For I fall too, dark times of terrible doubt, when the sand and dust are all that is real, when the flame of my joy runs low, a dim light amidst the darkness of the idolatry of the land. But here in these darknesses there is a persistent presence, God's voice recalled, his promises known and seen, and though my emotional experience of them varies, yet they are there, real, objective, a rock in the river of my affections, or to alter the metaphor, like the ark amidst the floodwaters, a refuge in the storm. It is there, it is real, and as I wait, it only grows more real.

Then also, those great confirmations, the speaking times when I heard his voice! His presence with me in my victories, as I rescued Lot and defeated the kings, when he represented himself to me as the priest-king (this man, a real man, make no mistake, but his presence like a glimpse of the promise, and I in shadow gave him the tenth, for it was his), when he destroyed the cities as he said he would, then finally, the birth, the bringing forth, the new life I held, Isaac, my son, my dear son whom I love, my flesh, the great sign of God's power and love and mercy and promise.

O God, you who knit together necessary things with your great gift, love that uniting force, that binding thing that makes all interaction a joy for those who possess his favor, who breaks us in our actings of love, bringing to humility joy, to lowliness a surpassing exaltation, who gave the promises through your love, making its fulfillment the very son whom I love, do you ask too much from me?

O heart be still, be still. Lord, you made love that the joy of all may increase, for love is joy amongst diversity, the joy of difference and other, and my love for my son is a love indeed, true in its actings, though imperfect as the heart from which it flows is imperfect. Lord, I love him.

Reason with me, God, speak with me now, for my mind and heart tremble and shake. I was told that I would have a son. Yes, God, you spoke this to me, and I believed it, for the speaking voice would not be denied, and you overpowered all that would resist, from reason on downward, or rather, that a higher reason was gifted to me in your voice, for to be aware of your power is no unreasonable thing. I believed it, though my body was as good as dead, and Sarah's womb long since dead, a hope that we had left behind some thirty years previous. This was a hope against hope, though a rational hope nonetheless, and you who cannot be resisted brought the fulfillment. It was a tree of life in our household, Isaac the joy of his mother, the pride and great delight of his father, a long deferred hope at last fulfilled, and YOU proven, you shown in your power, your goodness, your great love.

But Lord, it is more than that, is it not, this son of mine? Is he not part of the greater hope and motions of the promises, the motivating idea of my fathers, all the way back to Adam himself? Is it not the continuation of your work from the beginning, him on who the trustworthiness of God is pinned, the one from whom you are to bring forth a seed who will crush the serpent's head? We know this promise too, though upon it (not a new promise, but a fuller picture of the old) we have placed the renewal of it which I received, meaning that connected to the crushing is the blessing of every nation, a family from me that will be blessed, meaning if anything, that good will be done to them, the highest good, the reversal of all evil which is the hope of every generation. Newness! Life! An end to the groaning of the earth! Yes, in Isaac is bound more than the small joys of our happy family. Lord, here is where your glory is hung! Here your Word speaks and what is brought forth we all hope in, we all surrender too!

O Lord, but it is my agony too, in the midst of all this. It is my love which cries forth in my heart when I consider it. To take and kill my own son! What cruelty is it to ask such a thing? Lord, you have never shown yourself false to me, and so I break down such thoughts in the fire of your Spirit's work, but nonetheless, what I see is death, breaking, love destroyed and burnt out, an end to all hope, and my flesh's return to dust. This is Isaac's death, for me as the shadow, a father's love crushed as all those who hope also, past and future, must be crushed in truth.

So it seems to me. O Lord, forgive my poor sight. I am no God, no maker, no Lord of men, none but a servant, a wanderer, one resolved to wait, to fix the disciplined heart on the lowly paths. God is God. I am a man. This alone is enough for me, for though I cannot see those invisible things, I can act upon the word of them, I can make my life upon them, for in his words they become real things, though my eyes and mind know them not. Do you trust the Lord? It seems the question comes down to this. Do I trust that he will not break his promise to me? Do I trust that he is good, even in the crushing and killing of all that my heart loves? Do I see his power beyond my understanding?

I believe that God can raise the dead.

O Lord, I believe it, I do, my heart does, though I know my hand will tremble and shrink back once the knife is in it! For O, I still see so imperfectly, my trust is still so fragile. I will act, I will, O Lord, I will do as you say, but God be merciful to me! Take me, take me, take me, that I may act in obedience, that the heart may act against itself and in this way be cleansed.

O God, command me, instruct me. I am resolved to obedience. This has been my path since you first spoke, the long days of waiting filled with the joy that obedience brings. I know, I feel the faint stirrings, I sense in the invisible realities, that this obedience will bring joy, for each moment of obedience is a worship, worship that draws me nearer to him, nearer to the one for whom all this waiting is designed, and though a certain burning brings pain to it, it will make sweeter everything. Isaac, I will not possess him in disobedience, for then I possess him not to love but to control. God must have him, I must love him as I must love all things, for God to take and give as he will, as he has done. Lord, this is the discipline of my heart, to love according to your decree, to give and receive according to your hand, to enjoy to the fullest what is your gift, to hate and turn from all that opposes you. Isaac, I love him. He is yours, for my love is sweet when it is mine, and I will not see it changed. Take him Lord, through the giving you requested, a sacrifice of the promised one, a shadow, a hope, a love made pure. These are yours, as are all things.

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Genesis 22
Romans 4
Hebrews 11
Galatians 3

The John Own excerpt is from his commentary on Hebrews.