Internal Dialogue of Abraham Upon Receiving the Instruction to Sacrifice His Son

First, let me say first, always first, that God has spoken, God has instructed. His words are true, and they will always be true. When he speaks I cannot but obey, so it was in the past, so it is now. I will not waver, I must not waver.

But what does this mean? How can this be? Frame my questions, O Master, O Lord, that even in them I may not sin against you! Is it sin to wonder though, what it is that you are doing? Or why you do this?

Let me return to what I said before, that the promise God gave me will always be firm in my mind. What did he say? He told me: "It is through Isaac that your offspring is to be reckoned." Did I mishear him? No, it could not have been clearer. This is what I have built all my life around, this initial action of God towards me, this motion, free and independent of God, while I still wandered in the land of my father, ignorant, still half-enthralled by the idolatry of my father's house (though not of my father). If free, than they can be trusted, they can be built around. What was his first promise to me, that through me he would create a mighty nation? Now look at me, rich perhaps, blessed in my household, but I have never felt like anything but a stranger here, still living in tents now after 40 years, no closer to the land, to possessing it.

But I see, I see, in the future a city, a city with foundations. It remains in my head, not in my head exactly, but by some capacity God has made, it is represented unto me and I see it, the eyes of my heart see it. It was made by God. He was its architect. It is beautiful.

How can I reconcile such promises? The Lord says he will make a nation from me! Then when I doubted his words and acted on my own to fulfill these promises, he spoke again. It is through Isaac, this boy, this precious thing, this hope of the world. I know that is what God means, remember the words of the promise, Remember them Abraham! It is the world that is being blessed through me, this is what my father told me, that ancient promise our father Adam received. And this boy is the promised one.

I must kill him? I must take his life? I do not understand.

The promises I know are true, because the one who spoke them is faithful. I will hold to these promises unswervingly. My master will bring forth from Isaac a nation, and I will kill Isaac. Though I do not understand the union of these two things, I do not need to. After all, what can God not to? God can raise the dead, he can bring back my son, my hope, the one on whom all these things rest, can he not? Is it through death that the promises will be fulfilled?

There is comfort there. I have to repeat it many times, for ever this flesh is weak, this flesh doubts. I will act, I will obey. God is faithful.