1. God is a God of order.
This is central to his character. In fact, it is his character. The trinity is the perfect display of the divine order. Think for a minute about the relationship between Jesus and his Father.
John 5:19-20
I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself, he can only do what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does.
John 8:28
I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.
John 12:26
My Father will honor the one who serves me
We see that in his relationship to the Father, Jesus in all things submits. He speaks no words but the ones the Father has given him. He does nothing except that which he sees his Father doing. The Father fully supports and protects him in all that he does. The relationship is one of perfect obedience and perfect protection. The submission of Jesus is seen most clearly in Phil. 2.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Christ submitted fully and willingly to the Father.
2. There is order in human relationships that is reflective of the divine order.
Man was created first. Woman was made from man. This is reflective of the eternal order of the Father and the Son--the Father is always first, and the Son always his reflection, his image.
Man was created to be head. Woman was created to be under his headship. This is reflective of the eternal order of the Father and the Son--the Father is head, and the Son is in all things under Him.
Man was created to be the initiator. Woman was created to be the responder. This is reflective of the eternal order of the Father and the Son--the Father is the initiator, and the Son in all things responds.
Man was created to be the lover. Woman was created to be the beloved. This is reflective of the eternal order of the Father and the Son--the Father loves the Son, and the Son is exalted by it.
Man was created to be the protector. Woman was created to be the protected. The Father always protects the Son, and the Son entrusts himself to the Father.
Headship is a reflection of the divine order.
Note: It would be helpful if we examined for a minute the notion of worth and value.
Jesus says: I and the Father are one. The Godhead is three in one, perfect in unity. Is the Father of greater value because he is the head? Is the Son of lesser value because he is under the Father? They are one, perfect in unity. There roles are simply different, not varying in worth.
So it is with mankind. The head is not a position of higher value or worth.
Why, then, does the world consider the head to be a position of greater worth?
Because we, unlike Christ, "consider equality with God something to be grasped." The position with power is to be desired because we want to have power. We want to be Gods, masters of our own souls, powerful and dominant over others.
3. The reflective order of man-woman relationships was destroyed with sin.
Both failed equally, sinning against the order God had established. The man failed to protect the woman from the serpent, but stood passively by while she sinned. The woman failed to submit to the headship of her husband, but spoke and acted. This was a sin against the created order, and an attempt for each to set themselves up as Gods.
4. Redemption is about the restoration of the created order.
In Christ, we are new creations. We must resubmit to the order that God created, both men and women each. For each, this means to act against the sinful nature. What does this look like?
For men, it means to submit to the role of headship. Men must take the woman upon himself. This is laid out in Eph. 5, with Christ as our model (as in all things). He is to love her as Christ loves the Church; that is, he must give himself for her. He is to "love his wife as he loves himself," that is, to regard her needs as his own, in everything. His sin tells him to be passive, to reject the responsibility of the woman who is under him.
For women, she must submit to submission. She, like Christ, is not to grasp after the position God has placed another in, but to submit to the order as God has created it. She is under man, he is her head.
Man's role is hard. True headship is not dominance. Woman's role is hard. True submission does not control.